My name is Rocco Freeman and I killed my best friend. It all started when I was in the 10th grade and I decided to drop out of high school. I joined a gang called NV-17, they took me in and treated me like family, and I never had a family. My father died when I was only three and my mom is still in jail.

I have one sister, Karla, I used to live with my sister in a small apartment in East Chicago, but after I joined the gang I lived with them. I met a kid in the gang named Gavin, he was around my age and he became my best friend and my brother. On my first mission I was sent to beat one of my fellow gang members for not following the rules, it was me Gavin. We didn’t have guns, but what we didn’t realize was that the guy we were sent to beat had a gun. When we ran at him in an alley near my apartment, he turned around and shot me in the leg, Gavin got away and the gunman ran. Gavin came back and saved my life, he carried me to the nearest hospital as I was going in and out of conciseness. It was hard for Gavin to carry me because I am 6’3”, 240lbs. Gavin is only around 5’10”, maybe 180lbs. I couldn’t drop out of the gang then even though I wanted to, I couldn’t abandon my “Brothers”.

So I started going on more and more missions to gain respect and power in the gangs, I started using violence every day and because highly ranked in the gang. I lost a lot of close friends but I had to move on, Gavin was always the closest to me though. I went on all of my missions with him and I knew that I couldn’t lose him, he was all I had. Then, the day was upon us. I walked into the living room where the leader had a board set up with the plan on it. He wanted me to kill one of the top leaders of our rival gang. He was always surrounded by his fellow members who protected him so they had to come up with a brilliant plan, but instead they didn’t. They came up with a simple plan that I thought would work. Gavin and I would drive down to where he lives and shoot the whole house and hope that we kill him. I was driving and Gavin unloaded on the house with an automatic weapon. I had to drive away as fast as I could so I wouldn’t get shot by the other members. We were speeding away when Gavin started talking to me.

“Rocco slow down your going to get us killed” He said. I responded with

“Come on Gavin lighten up, this is fun”.

On and on he was yelling at me to slow down as he feared for his life. I was so amused and intoxicated that I ran a stop sign. Not recognizing the SUV that was about to hit the passenger side of my car where Gavin was sitting. They hit us, they hit him. I saw his body, laying there lifeless, with pieces of glass and metal in him. That was when reality kicked in, this is real life and you only get to live your life once, and I had just cut my best friend’s life short. His life wasn’t mine to take, he was all I had left, my last hope. I remember just sitting there mourning on my knees watching the car burn while being carried to a safer spot by firefighters. I knew my life was going to change at that moment. The authorities took me and my best friend, what was left of him to the hospital. I didn’t have anything wrong with me just a couple bruises and a minor concussion. Gavin always stayed in touch with his mother and I knew I was going to have to be the one to call them.

“Hi Mrs. Ross, Its Rocco, there was a serious emergency that happened, Gavin’s dead”. I cried. Sporadically mumbling and crying she howled:

“Where are you, where is my son”. I gave her the name of the hospital and she told me that she was on her way. The hospital managed to save half of his body from the flames. He lay there lifeless like a fallen tree. His mother arrived and she asked if she could see what was left of him before hearing what happened. The nurse took her to the operating room and showed her the repaints of her son. She burst out crying but she wasn’t upset at me, I comforted her. We sat down in the hospital lobby and I told her what happened. Talking about her son just made her sob more so we stopped.

We then prayed to the lord that his soul may rest peacefully with Jesus and I expressed how much I love Gavin and how sorry I am. I sincerely said to his mom

“If there is anything I can do to make this easier on you tell me”. She replied with:

“Okay I’ll tell you if I need you”.

The next day I was told to go to the police station to discuss what happened and they had the other driver present. I told them what happened and that it was my fault, the other driver had the right of way. I was so sad about the loss of my Best friend that I didn’t feel like fighting the case for no reason.

On my court date I stood up and Pleaded:

“I plead guilty to the murder of Gavin Ross”.

I was charged with First degree murder and 5 years in a state penitentiary, I was put in a Prison in South Detroit. Just like the gang I grew higher and higher in ranking in prison. I started running jail, I had people do things for me, I still had connections with the outside world, I had to be tough in prison so I didn’t get killed. I planned on starting a new life for myself after prison but that was looking like an impossible feat. I started doing a “Scared straight” program for teens headed down the wrong path. That program was really what helped me stay on the right path and to get away from violence and start living the right way. One day a kid asked me:

“Isn’t it fun to shoot people and get tattoos and not go to school?”

I screamed at him, “No getting shot isn’t fun either because I got lucky if it wasn’t for Gavin I wouldn’t be here right now, you might not get so lucky”

He didn’t say a word for the rest of the hour. I still have all of my tattoos for the crimes I did. Each tattoo represents a different crime, if I had the chance and I knew I would end up rotting in a jail cell, I would take it all back. I got out of jail 4 months ago and I still sleep on the floor because I haven’t adjusted to a bed yet. I have a Girlfriend now and were engaged, we’re getting married in a couple months. I’m starting my life over, those marks on my chest don’t mean anything anymore, but you know what they say “once you’re in the game, you can never get out”.