I awake in a blur of yellow and red. I can feel the warmth of the sun beating down on my dry skin, yet I cannot see it. In fact, I can not see anything. All of my other senses are still functioning. I can smell pine trees. I can hear birds chirping in the distance. I can even feel grass beneath my feet. And yet, my vision is impaired. I stand there for quite sometime, waiting for my eyesight to return. And, sure enough, it eventually does. But ,when my surroundings focus, I am not where I thought I would be. I am not home. 

I find myself standing on a massive lawn, directly in front of an average-sized house. Once I step inside, lights from all different crevices and counters shine a spotlight on my face. I am blinded for a moment. Once my vision returns, I notice I am now facing what looks to be an abundance of family photos of an old lady and her children and grandchildren. I suddenly feel a calmness that this house gives out. It makes me feel as if I have physically walked inside the quiet place in my head. I am happy.

I soon turn the corner into the living room. Sitting in a lounge-like chair is the same old lady from the photos, who looks to be in her late 60s. On her lap is a little girl about five years old. She is smiling up at her grandmother. She is laughing. As I continue to make my way further into the livingroom, I see another child sitting on the ground. He looks to be the age of six. He is playing with toy cars. His face too, is wearing a grin. And then, I look up at the old lady. Although her health is clearly not at its peak, she is smiling as well. She is holding her granddaughter as if she is her own personal teddy bear. I feel happy for her. I want to tell her, but I am interrupted by a younger woman walking in with a plate of cookies.

“Who wants a snack?” she asked. “Because it’s almost the weekend, you guys can have two cookies.”

“Really? Thanks mom!” the little girl squealed.

“Just make sure your brother doesn’t go overboard. I remember when Uncle Adam used to eat the whole plate of cookies before dinner when we were kids.”

“Oh, don’t lie Tess,” the old lady said, now placing the little girl on the ground to play with her brother. “You know as well as I do that you ate just as many cookies as he did.”

“Fine then, but don’t encourage Zoe and Cole to do the same. Okay Mom?” Chuckling, the old lady strutted over to the plate of cookies and took one for the little girl, who I now know as Zoe, and bent over, handing another to the little boy, Cole. I could see she was about to take one for herself, when the doorbell rung. As I turn around, I can see a man in his late 20s walk into the room laden with luggage. “Guess who’s back?” he hollered.

“Oh good,” the old lady said. “We were just talking about you.”

“All good things I hope.”

“Uncle Adam!” the two little kids yelled, sprinting towards his open arms now free of the suitcases. Pulling them into a massive bear hug, he kissed both of them on the forehead. Then he made his way to Tess and the old lady. He first hugged Tess, giving her a friendly punch on the shoulder. Afterwards, he leaned towards the old lady, hugging her too. “You look great mother.” I could tell she was pleased with his compliment. I imagine she tries her best to stay in a healthy state. That way, she can take care of her children and grandchildren. From my perspective, she definitely has.

I could tell everyone was getting ready to head into the dining room for dinner, so I began to make my way back to the front door. But, as I strolled to the entrance, I could not help listening in on their conversations. Hearing them reminisce on past memories, laughing at their mistakes, congratulating each other on their most recent accomplishments. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the old lady sitting at the head of the table. Just like before, she is smiling. However, it is a different kind of smile now. It is a smile of pride. She is observing her family sitting with her, all enjoying each other’s company. Zoe and Cole are sitting side by side, playing paddy cake under the table. Tess and Adam are sitting on the other side of the table, pretend wrestling with each other as if they were kids again. Everybody is, well, smiling. But no one looks more delighted than the old lady. I would be too if I was living her life. But, for now, I know I must return home. Return to my little house in Wyckoff, and continue living my life. Not my fantasy one. At least not yet.