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Mourning Blues
He picked up his coffee mug off the floor, the one he used everyday. Last night, used for gin and tonic, and apparently a good time, for he did not remember how the coffee mug got onto the floor. He can remember up until his third mugful of gin and third attempt on writing a song on his Ellington piano. The rest of the night was a blur of piano keys and television. This morning is no different than the last morning and the morning before. He gets up to make tea and turns on the television for the morning news, but shortly thereafter falls back to sleep on his green three-cushioned couch with the morning news flashing over his face. He awakens to the screeching whistle of the tea pot. The tea pot alarm sounds just in time for Ray to get up for work. He hurriedly throws his suit coat on, grabs his mug full of tea and heads out the door. His car is cold. His bones shake.
Ray works at the local high school. There is only one in town, with about three hundred students in total. On the way to the school, a five minute drive, Ray would’ve walked if it weren’t ‘so damned cold’, Ray digs a cigarette out of his suit coat. It broke into pieces, so Ray threw it out the window along with a loud “f***”. He decided that today he could be late to work and turned onto a road with a gas station, so he could buy a pack of cigarettes. The radio was on in the car, and was describing a snowstorm bearing down on the town that day. Ray grunted in disapproval, wishing for warmer days and bright sunlight that danced in his eyes. He left the car running, as to keep it warm, while he went into the gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes. Back in the car, warm, cigarette lit and happy Ray let out a sigh of relief. Today was the last day of school before Christmas Vacation and he was looking forward to some time off. Maybe, he thought, maybe this time I’ll finally do it.
Ray had been keeping his eye on a fellow teacher for the first few months of school. He and the other teacher talked often during their days at school, and often discussed their dreams and desires over lunch in the teachers lounge. His teacher friend did not smoke, but he always offered a cigarette. He would, everyday, come up with clever ways to ask, such as: “Would you like some cancer rolled up in paper?” or “Would you like to be a few hours closer to death?”. These were some of his more clever examples. Most days Ray would just pull out a cigarette, and before lighting it, ask if the other teacher wanted one. A simple courtesy, thought Ray.
Ray and his friend had come up with, what they thought was. a better use of time for their students than giving them tests on this last day, like many other teachers. They, although Ray was a math teacher and his friend was a chemistry teacher, decided to make their students write an essay on what they thought the goal of life was. Many of their students did grumble at the matter of writing an essay in math or science, but Ray and the other teacher stood strong on their idea. The first periods of the day went by quickly, and the bell for lunch soon rang upon the school. Ray went to the cafeteria to get lunch, because he didn’t have time to make lunch this morning, like the last morning and the morning before. Lunch between Ray and his friend was short, not much was said, but it was not at all bad. Just as lunch was ending, and leaving was his friend, Ray said,”Why don’t we get together to go over the papers sometime over break? Maybe tom— “
“Why don’t you come to my house tonight? I will be gone the rest of break.”
”Sounds great. What time?”
“Eight.”
“All right.”
Lunch was over and they headed back to their classrooms. The second half of the day was setting in with a sense of happiness Ray and Casey had not felt in a long time. The day could not have gone any quicker for Ray. He was overflowing with excitement for tonight’s meeting with Casey. The snow had started as the school day was getting over. Ray threw a few cuss words at the snow in the sky on the way home. Once Ray got home, he put a pot of tea on the stove, lit his cigarette and started to plan on what to wear that night. First he thought jeans and a t-shirt would be the way to go, to show that he didn't always dress up like he did at school. When Ray left for Casey’s house at 7:55, as to make it there a few minutes late, he was wearing khakis, a cardigan sweater and brown dress shoes. The snow had begun to fall quicker, and more dense. Ray was having no difficulty driving through the snow, and happily had a cigarette tucked in between his lips. Ray’s car slipped on a patch of snow and slid into a deep ditch filled with a mixture of water and snow. His car was just barely covered by the mess of water, snow and ice. He could find no way out, so as the car was filling up he smoked his last.
Casey found out the next morning on the news. She went and bought a pack of cigarettes, and then went back home. She lit one, smoked one and blew out her brains.
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