He couldn't speak but he saw them putting the tubes down his throat to his stomach. They made sure his blood pressure was good and that the IV was in correctly. Finally Jon returned to his body with a burning sensation in the back of his throat. He woke up, shot up, and puked into a bucket. It felt like his insides were trying to escape his body as he jolted uncontrollably. The last thing he remembered was the pain before he passed out again.

   ~   ~   ~

   Sarah got done with work a little earlier than usual for a Friday night. She didn't care, it meant that she got to run over to Jon's house and surprise him with a snickers Blizzard from Dairy Queen. She got into her car and rolled all the windows down. She popped in the new Maroon 5 Hands All Over CD Jon bought for her birthday, and skipped to song number two "Give A Little More." She reached into her back pocket to call Jon but all she got when the phone rang was: "Hi, you've reached Jon leave a message." She found it odd that he wasn't answering his phone or texting her back. She told herself he was probably sleeping before he started his shift. When she reached his house, she shut off her car. The house was completely dark. She checked the garage to find Jon's moped but no other cars which meant his parents were sill at work. Sarah opened the door and set the ice cream on the kitchen table and turned on the lamp. Lucy, the dog Sarah and Jon bought, greeted her with lots of kisses.

   "Hi, my pretty princess! How are you? Mommy missed you! Where's daddy?

   Lucy followed as Sarah opened the door to the basement. She tried to be quiet as she saw his feet laid behind the couch. She tought he rolled off or fell asleep playing Skyrim. Lucy jumped on him but whimpered and rubbed her nose with her paw.

   "What's wrong girl?" Sarah asked as she watched Lucy run back up the stairs. She kneeled down next to him and kissed his forehead. She brushed his brown shaggy hair that she wished he would cut.

   As she smiled she said, "Jon? Babe you gotta wake up I know you're tired but---" She backed up a little and felt her heart start to beat faster. "Jon?" She started to shake him. She heard something roll off the table and as she saw it make it's way to the ground she realized what it was. She picked it up and saw that the little orange bottle was empty. She covered her mouth trying to feel the ground for her phone. She picked it up and dialed 911.

   "911. What is your emergency?"

   "My boyfriend he... he must've took some pills. He's not breathing. I can't get him to wake up."

   "Ma'am I'm going to need you to calm down. Okay? Now where are you?"

   "I'm at his house I... I don't know his address. I'm sorry. H-he lives by Davis Middle School."

   "Okay stay on the phone so we can track you then. Now what is your name?"

   "His name is Jon. Oh, my name? My name is Sarah. I have no idea how long he's been out I just got here. I haven't talked to him all day.

   "Okay is anybody with you?"

  "No, it's just us please hurry."

   "Alright. Sarah an ambulance is on its way. Just stay on the phone until it arrives."

   "Okay, okay. I hear it! Thank you so much." She dropped the phone and ran out of the house to flag them down. She pointed them in the direction of the basement.

   They started to perform CPR on him and he started to feel the heavy pressure on his chest. His body jolted as he woke up. He rose up and looked aruond. He walked up his stairs to the commotion happening outside. He watched everything happen around him in slow motion. He looked up at the tree in his front yard and found Sarah barely standing by herself underneath it. He thought about how that was where he first met her when his friend Sam brought her over. Jon remembered the sun shining and watching her goof around with his younger brother thinking that a girl like her would never want to be with him.

   He turned as he heard sirens and saw all the flashing lights. He saw someone being pushed into an ambulance. He followed the crowd of neightbors to see who it was. All he could see were the bottom of the person's Converse which he knew so well since he wore them everyday. There was writing on the bottom of the right foot. He squinted his eyes to read it and gasped falling backwards. He realized it said "Andy" on it with a backwards N. Sarah wrote that on his show last month when they had their Toy Story movie marathon. The paramedics were ready to drive off as Sarah climbed in. Jon jumped inside before they closed the doors.

   He looked down at his hands and started to feel his shirt. Everything felt fine but no one could see him. He thought maybe it was all just a dream. But then he looked over at Sarah holding a little orange empty bottle and remembered exactly what happened. He watched her as she cried and prayed to God that he would be alright. Sarah was shaking so much that one of the paramedics gave her a blanket because he thought she was cold. Jon sat next to her and tried to brush her hair out of her face. Her hair stayed there until she tucked it behind her ear to reveal the small gold hood earrings he gave her for their first Christmas together.

   ~   ~   ~

Is this Heaven?

Or does God not even want me.

   He heard some sniffling and felt something tugging on his blanket. He tilted his head to see who it was. He swallowed hard. "Please tell me you're not the one who found me."

   Sarah gasp as she rose her head up. "Why would you do this?"

   "I, I don't know." But he did know. He knew that the little voice was back that he had been trying to fight off for a while now. "Something in the back of my mind told me I wasn't fine anymore. Something told me that you would eventually stop caring. Something told me you'd be better off."

   "Why didn't you tell me?" Sarah asked as she combed her fingers through his hair.

   "Because the voice told me you deserved better. Not a freak who had locked himself in his bedroom and tried to cut off his airway with a rope." He stared at his name on his hospital bracelet. "I wanted you to move on---"

   She crawled into his bed and laid her head on his shoulder wrapping her arm around him. She look up at Jon "Do you remember the first time you kissed me?"

   "Yeah" he said with a grin on his face as he played with her bracelets. "That was the night you accidentally slept over at my house."

   "We were up all night playing on your XBOX and then I really wanted some Taco Bell."

   "Oh, yeah. We didn't even finish eating because we fell asleep watching Insidious 2."

   "I woke up from hitting my head on the leg of the table because I thought someone was trying to break down your door."

   Jon laughed as he held Sarah closer. "Then he made fun of us and told us not to do anythnig he wouldn't do."

   "That has to be the most embarrassing way to meet your boyfriend's dad. I can't believe he was so cool with it."

   "Well, we were twenty-two."

   "Yes, but still it was his house and we had just started dating."

   The rest of the night fadded into "do you remembers" until the nurse came in and asked her to leave. Sarah got out of bed, grabbed her jacket, and turned around to kiss Jon goodbye on his cheek.

   ~   ~   ~

  Jon walked out of his counselor's building and found a red Ford Focus parked in front. He looked down and smiled at the ground as he waited for the passenger window to be rolled down. "Excuse me miss can I help you?"

   Sarah hunched over to look out the window with a big smirk on her face. "Why, yes good sir you can help me eat this snickers Blizzard. I accidentally ordered a large." 

   Jon slid his way in the car just before Sarah gave out a little gasp. He turned the volume up when he realized Maroon 5 was on the radio.