Tanya is a 38-year-old single mom living every mother’s nightmare. Her husband left her, her oldest son, Jayden, is a drug addict, they are practically homeless, and she has to work two jobs in order to care for her four children. Her life started out great, she married the man of her dreams, lived in a nice home in the hills of Hollywood, and had four amazing kids. Little did she know soon after her fourth son was born, her life would take a turn for the worst.
It was a rainy day in May of 2015 when her husband never came home from a night at the casino. She was confused and worried, but didn’t want to overthink the situation because it had happened once before. The next morning, she heard a knock on her door, she opened it with hope that she would see her husband’s face. By her surprise, standing in front of her were three police officers forcing her out of her house. She hurried the boys out the door, with only the money in her pocket.  Before she knew it, they had no house, no food, and she had no idea what to do. Tanya was frantically trying to find a place to live that would feel the most like home for her children. The last thing she wanted to happen was for her boys to feel unsafe and unloved.
Tanya and her children realize that life is going to be like this for a while and that they better find a way to deal. They move into a homeless shelter where Tanya’s longtime friend was a volunteer, hoping that this would only be temporary. Little did they know it would be more temporary than they thought.

“Jayden.” explained one of the rude old ladies who works there.

“Yes, Miss. Sharp?” Jayden says trying to stay calm and not look to high.

“What do you think you’re doing? You know that you aren’t supposed to be in this back alley way.”

“I... I was taking the trash out, yes, I was taking the trash out.” Jayden hesitated to say.

“For a second time today? I saw you out here earlier also.” Miss. Sharp said placing her hand on her hip and looking straight into his eyes.

“And try explaining to me why your eyes are red. huh?”

“Fine, you got me.” As the brown paper bag filled with drugs fell out of his pocket.

“Jayden, you know that this is a family shelter and that in order to live her you have to be responsible. Especially children.

What do you think your mother will think when I tell her about this?”

“Please, no, you can’t tell her. She already has so much on her mind, the last thing I want is for her to be worrying about me.” He said as a look of shame fell over his face.

“You know that I have to tell her. Actually I have a better idea, you will tell her. In my office.” She explained as a smirk came over her face.

Jayden and Miss. Sharp walked back inside. Miss. Sharp walking at a fast pace and Jayden walking 5 paces behind knowing that this wasn’t going to be a good talk. As they entered Miss. Sharps office a look of fear came across his face.

“Tanya if you could please come to my office. Tanya please come to my office.” Miss. Sharp said over the speaker.

As Tanya heard her name over the loud speaker she knew something was up. She immediately started counting her children, she counted the younger 3 and right then and there she figured it was Jayden. A million thoughts started running through her head, just hoping that he was ok and that nothing happened to him.  As she entered the room she felt the tension and knew that something was up.

“What happened?” Tanya asked as she sat down in her chair feeling like she was a 3rd grader in the principal's office.

“Jayden would you like to explain or would you like for me to?” Miss. Sharp said as she peered over her glasses.

“Fine. I might have been doing drugs.” he said as a look of guilt fell over his face.

“You what?!” Tanya said as her face turned bright red with anger.

“I don’t know what I was doing. I guess I’m just trying to fit in with this crowd and just be normal.”

“Jayden that is not normal, I thought I have talked to you about this and raised you to be a good kid.” Tanya had a look of disappointment fall over her face and slowly tears started running out of her tired eyes.

“Tanya, you know what this means. I am sorry but I am going to have to ask you and your family to pack up and leave the shelter within the next hour.” Miss. Sharp said.

“Miss. Sharp please. I don’t know where we will go.” Tanya sobbed.

“I am sorry.”

Tanya and Jayden stood up and hurried out. Tanya couldn’t stand to look at Jayden’s blue eyes without feeling like she was a horrible mother. They gathered up their things and hurried out not having a clue of what they would do next. They family walked in silence for what felt like 2 hours. The night was approaching and Tanya needed a place for her children to sleep.  She came upon an abandoned house and figured that it would be okay for them to settle there for the night. The creaking floor and the scurrying mice scared the youngest child but Tanya had no other choice. It was late and everyone was so exhausted from a physically and mentally draining day. Not only that but the kids had school tomorrow.

Tanya’s mornings started at 3:00am when she would wake up in order to make it in time to clean the office building before all the workers started their days. She shook Jayden to let him know that she was leaving, still feeling upset from the day before.

“I’ll be back before the younger ones wake up.” She whispered.
Jayden turned his head with a moan and rolled over.

Tanya snuck out quietly trying not to make a sound. As she entered the dark city she had a lot of time to think, this is when she did her best thinking. Time passed and it was already 6:00am, which means that Tanya had to hurry home. She had to get her children ready for school and make herself look presentable so that people wouldn’t think something was up. 

As she entered the doorway to the abandoned house she took off her work clothing, hoping for one minute of peace and quiet, but was greeted with the cry of her two year old son.

She quickly got the other kids up and forced them to walk faster in order to make it to school on time. As they entered the school yard Tanya kissed each one of children telling them how much she loves them and wishing them to have a great day.

As the day went by Tanya was only surviving off of the little sleep she got last night. It was time for the children to come home. They walked into the abandon house, minus Jayden of course. Jayden never came home with the other kids. He would come home always about an hour later, telling his mom that he had study group. Today Tanya had this feeling that he wasn’t at study group and she was going to get to the bottom of it. As Jayden came home a million thoughts started going around in her head.

“Jayden,” she says as she is looking under his ripped beaten up pillow.

“What mom?” he says with his eyes bloodshot.

“What is this? Please tell he this isn’t what I think. I thought we were done with this once we left the shelter.” As she opens the ripped brown paper bag.

“I… don’t know what that is.”

“Jayden”

“Mom, did you ever think about that those might not be mine. We do live in an abandon house in the middle of this dirt hole of a city.”

“Jayden, never say that again. I am trying my best to keep you and your brothers safe. I am tired and helpless. You have to understand that this is what we have and this is what we are going to live with.” Tanya says as tears ran down her face like a waterfall.

“Just tell me if these are yours.”

“They aren’t. I promise.” Jayden explained as his head started to bob down toward his feet.

“Then explain your red eyes.” “Do you think I am stupid?”

“Did you ever think that I might be tired too and that I might be helpless also?” “Did you ever think that maybe I just want to fit in and be like the other kids?” “Did you ever think that this isn’t normal?”

“Don’t you think that I have realized this isn’t normal?” “We don’t live the same life we used to.” Tanya yelled.

“I try so hard to be a good son, good brother, and fit in but knowing that your dad left you is the worst feeling ever.” “I feel as if I have disappointed him and that I have no meaning in life.” Jayden yelled as he cried in fear.

“Jayden, you are so worthy and you are so loved by your siblings and myself.” “I never want you to ever think that.”

“You don’t need to do drugs in order to fit in. Just be yourself and remember who loves you.”

As Jayden and Tanya stood there hugging for what seemed like 20 minutes Jayden realized that he had to be there for his family and that he needs to be the man of the house. He knows that he has to change and figure something out. He knows that he doesn’t only need to be there for his siblings but for his mom. He sees how much his mom is suffering and knows that he needs to change.

As 3 months went by so did the family’s lives in a good way. Tanya was offered a job higher up in the cleaning business and the homeless shelter allowed them back. Jayden has sobered up and is trying to focus on school, he really wants to go to college. Tanya prays every day that her son will get that chance and that he will grow up to be a better man than her husband.