Louis glanced down at the integrated satnav in his brand new Porsche and confirmed that he had arrived at Courtney’s house. A short honk on the horn later and she was coming out the front door, down the steps and carefully entering the car as to keep her black flowy skirt in the right place.
Courtney wanted to look nice on this blind date. It was set up through her friend Bella who was dating Louis’ best friend, James.
Courtney smiled and looked at her company for the night as he pulled out of the driveway. "It’s nice to finally meet you Lewis, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Louis”
“What?”
“The s is silent, it’s Louis not Lewis.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Courtney genuinely apologized.
“Yeah.”
Trying to avoid awkward pauses, Courtney started the small talk. “So this is a nice car you’ve got here.”
“Thanks, it probably costs more than your net worth.”
Courtney was so thrown off by Louis’ statement that she just sat there without saying anything.
This time, it was Louis’ turn to break the silence. “You look really hot tonight.”
“Thanks,” Courtney replied with a blush. She was still perplexed at just how this night had gone only a few minutes in. “You look nice too,” she finally replied, noticing his slim jeans, grey vest and bowtie that she couldn’t deny, actually made him look very attractive.
The air sat still for what seemed to be an eternity as they waited at a red light. As soon as the stoplight shown green over the setting sun, the car flew forward with tremendous force. Courtney was pinned to her seat as the Porsche seemed to jump to lightspeed in a split second.
“So that was fun,” Louis said grinning ear to ear.
“You scared the hell out of me!”
“Sorry, not sorry,” he chuckled to himself.
“Alright, just don’t do it again,” Courtney bargained.
“No promises,” Louis smirked.
Who even was this boy Courtney had agreed to go on a date with? What had Bella gotten her into? How were the next few hours going to play out? Courtney was beginning to get rather nervous.
They were headed to Café Símon (like Louis it had a French ring to it), a trendy new coffee shop on the far side of town. Bella and James would be joining them later, but for at least the first half hour, they were alone.
“Alright, there it is” Louis pointed at a storefront in a restored old building that also now contained an art gallery of some kind and a record store on the far corner.
“Oh, there’s a spot” Courtney pointed to the single visible parking spot, just ahead on the right.
“Nah, I’m looking for a valet”
“What? Why?” She responded quickly.
“I always valet this baby.”
“Uhhh okay then….” At this point, contention was not in Courtney’s best interest.
They circled the blocks in the surrounding area in silence continuously until finally Louis spotted a valet service. Handing in the keys to the Porsche, they walked to the café. 
“I’ll find a table; can you get me a medium café mocha?” Courtney asked.
“Okay” James replied.
In her moment away from Louis, Courtney frantically texted Bella

What did you get me into!?!?

It’s just a date :)

This guy is a total asshole!!!

Just go with it, maybe he’ll grow on you

James just showed up, I got to go

C U in an hour

Have fun!

“Who was that?” Louis startled Courtney as he returned with their coffee.
“Oh, just Bella, I was checking in on her and James” (which wasn’t necessarily false).
“Cool.”
Thinking their mutual friendship would break the mile-thick ice, Courtney began the conversation she had now been dreading. “So what’d James tell you about me?”
“Not much, just that you were Bella’s best friend and that you were pretty cute… and single”
Courtney blushed despite the fact that she wasn’t really interested in Louis at this point.
“He also showed me some pictures that Bella sent and I must say, your breasts really sold it for me.”
“WHAT?” Courtney was shocked and disgusted, partially outraged and partially surprised someone would actually say something that blunt.
“Yeah, you’ve got a nice rack.”
At this point, Courtney had no respect for him and felt no remorse relaying what just happened to her good friend Liam. She began texting him to avoid Louis as this date was quickly going from bad to worse.
Louis broke the silence, “Hey, so I forgot to tell you this but my parents are going to be joining us for dinner tonight and they think we’re dating.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, so I told them we’re in a relationship.”
“Why would you do that? This is our first date!” Courtney was aghast.
“Do you even know what it feels like to be single and this attractive? It’s a crime!” Louis proclaimed.
Courtney struggled to hold back a laugh as she finally realized the absurdity of the situation.
Trying a different method, she attempted to put him in check a bit. “You’re kind of being an ass”
“Ha ha ha.” He raised his eyebrows as if she were merely joking with him, and his laughter reminded her of a narcissistic psychopathic villain.
At this point, Courtney buried herself in her phone, incessantly texting Liam.

I’m on the worst date ever right now

How bad? (Scale of 1-10)

11, Bella set me up with this total asshole and I need to get out of here ASAP

Tell him I’m having an emergency and you need to come help

I don’t have a ride, he drove

Well, crap

“Are you actually going to talk” Louis interjected.
“Yeah, sorry, my friend is having some issues right now.” Courtney fibbed, unable to tell him that she was actually the one having issues now. With him.
“So I looked up some good first date questions and I’m going to ask you them.”
“Okay…”
“What do you like to do in your spare time?”
“Well, when I actually get spare time, school keeps me busy, I like to watch Netflix and listen to music mostly.”
“Hmm, what kind of music?” Louis followed up.
“I don’t know, my Spotify is very eclectic, everything from musicals to KPop.”
“Interesting...how far are you willing to go with me tonight?” Louis asked as a slight smirk grew upon his lips.
“That can’t be on the list.”
“It is!”
“Okay.”
“What’s your answer?” Louis prodded.
“I think what you meant to ask is ‘how far away from you am I going to stay after tonight?’”
Louis looked puzzled, “does that mean yes or no to ‘Netflix and chill?’”
“Guess.”
“Maybe?” he queried.
“No, you idiot!” Courtney was losing her temper, and fast. After composing herself, she changed the subject. “Bella and James are going to be here in about five minutes.”
“Oh, cool.”
Courtney tuned out the next few minutes, not wanting another second of conscious interaction with a terrible human like Louis.
Right on que, Bella and James walked in. The first thing Courtney noticed was a trace amount of red lipstick (Bella’s signature color) on James’ neck, just above the collar on his blue shirt. He towered over the short Bella by nearly a foot. She had a simple blouse on with sweater and leggings.
James pulled over a second small table and chairs for him and Bella. Courtney subconsciously contributed to their smalltalk as she continued plotting her escape.
“I’m going to go use the restroom.” Courtney added.
But Courtney was not going to use the restroom. After getting the key from the Barista, she made her way to the one room stall in the back of the café and proceeded to call her older sister.
“Lucy, I need help”
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m on a terrible date with this total asshole and I just need to get out of here, can you pick me up?”
“Yeah, where are you?”
“Some coffee shop on 6th, I think it’s called Café Símon,” Courtney added extra emphasis to poke fun at the pretentiousness of the hipster café’s French name.
“I’ll be there in 5.”
“Thanks so much, you’re the best.”
Courtney took some extra time after her call to stall by freshening up a bit, eventually returning to her “friends.”
“She returns!” Louis said mockingly. “So are you excited for dinner?”
“I won’t be joining you.” Courtney replied confidently.
“Wait, what? We had a plan; my parents are going to be there!”
“No, my sister is going to be here in 2 minutes, I’m leaving.”
James and Bella shared a glance communicating their empathy for Courtney.
“Court, if you leave, I’ll never talk to you again!” Louis was turning red, either from the embarrassment of the situation or his anger with Courtney, likely both.
“Could that just start now?” Courtney refuted without missing a beat.
Not leaving him a chance to answer, she picked up her purse and jacket and walked triumphantly toward the door, not looking back once. Just as she exited the café, her sister pulled up in her red VW beetle, Courtney entered and just as soon as it had arrived, the bug sped of down 6th avenue. Not a word was spoken between the sisters as they traveled to 4th Ave Ice Cream, the best comfort food known to woman.