It called to me late in the night. It’s sweet sickly presence made itself aware inside my mind, like a crying child. I tossed and turned, trying to escape it’s beautiful trap. Beads of cold sweat pooled under my knees. My mind slowly began to accept the inevitable invitation that beckoned me closer. I couldn’t remember why I had ever resisted the call of the void. All of my past resolutions faded into unrecognizable grey blobs and I sat up. I flickered my eyes frantically around the room, feeling as though someone were watching me commit a crime. My eyes fell short, finding no one and I breathed a sigh of relief. I quickly opened my bedside drawer, causing the loud squeal of seldom used wood to cut the silence of the air filling my bedroom. My hand flailed around the near-empty space, searching for its only resident. Cold, flimsy, plastic finally grazed my fingertips. Tiny volts of desire radiated up my arms, covering my skin with chill bumps and drops of precipitation. I clutched the box in my hands with an animalistic need. Desire gushed throughout my veins, urging me forward. I picked up an old lighter, which had been unused for some time, and created a flame. My shaking fingers flinched as they pinched a stick and lifted it from the carton. The flame chuckled at my desperate state, pulsing with humor. I pushed the tobacco into the light and watched small specks of ash disintegrate into nothingness. A beautiful scent of poison filled my lungs, leaving me breathless. My mind screamed in protest as my lips touched the wrapped cancer, but I inhaled anyway. Blissful regret overwhelmed me while my resistance crumbled. That night, I surrendered.