I. Daughter
     An eerie silence encased the night. As the snow fell, the flakes danced, forging patterns in the air, until they hit the ground, softly creating a white blanket that quieted the world. Darkness had already settled in, marking its territory over the land. Even the city, which was crowded with late night shoppers, had a unified tranquility that ran deep into the streets. The noises that could be heard had a sense of calm and rhythm. They blended, unnoticed, into the darkness.
     As Alexis drove home through the hushed city streets, she was oblivious to this silence and could not help but break it. She pushed the button to turn on the radio, expecting the music to drown out her thoughts, but it was an old Christmas carol that started to play. After a few seconds of letting the melody wash over her, she couldn’t take it any longer. She hurriedly changed the station to an overplayed pop song. She then cranked her radio up to the maximum, trying this time to drown out the memories that the old carol had brought.  But the internal voice was unaffected by the loud tunes, and she could still hear it screaming inside of her, threatening to burst out at any moment. Her hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel, turning her knuckles white. Her shoulders hunched forward as she stared out of the frosty window trying to concentrate solely on her driving and nothing else. She rolled to a stop at the intersection to let a mother and her daughter cross the street, and was abruptly reminded of the same thoughts she had been trying to drown out with the music.
     The little girl who was crossing the street holding her mother’s hand was wearing a sweater that Alexis used to wear. The images were flooding back now, no matter how hard she tried to stop them. Even though they were just memories, it felt to her as if they were punching a deep black hole in the middle of her chest. She took her hands off the steering wheel and wrapped them around herself, trying to hold her body together and prevent this seeping hole from breaking her as she remembered all of the Christmases she had when she was younger. She and her mom used to go out shopping just like this mother and daughter were doing. They went in the evening around the same time, when all of the windows were lit up as if by magical twinkling stars. She recalled drinking hot cocoa by the stove, trying to get warm after they had trudged home through the heaps of snow. They would listen to Christmas carols, just like the one Alexis had turned off, their voices harmonizing as they sang along to every word. The sound would fill the house joy.
     Alexis also remembered the special days when she would come home to a house that smelled like freshly baked cookies. She could still smell that sweet and sugary scent and taste the gooey chocolatey goodness on her tongue. She recalled how with each bite, she would feel a warmth that seeped into her body and toasted her insides with pure happiness. The holiday used to be about love and family to Alexis, but right then in the car, she did not feel the same warmth that the cookies used to bring to her. She did not feel the same joy that she had when she listened to the carols. All she felt now was this emptiness inside her chest that spread throughout her entire body. All she wanted was to feel exactly how she used to when she ate those cookies, back when her mother was willing to make them for her, back when mother made time for her.
     A car horn honked behind Alexis and abruptly snapped her back into reality. The mother and daughter had already moved on and were now halfway down the block. Alexis shakily extended only one of her hands and placed it back on the steering wheel, carefully leaving her other arm to hold in the pieces of her emotions. For the rest of the journey home, all that Alexis could think about was the anticipation that, maybe, her mother remembered to make the cookies that they both loved so much.
Alexis played it out perfectly in her head. She would walk in, and immediately be overcome by the irresistible aroma of freshly baked goodness. Wearing the biggest and most radiant smile that anyone had ever seen, her mother will be pulling the cookies out of the hot oven, her long brown strands of hair pulled back into a messy bun, a bit of flour smeared across her face. “Hey sweetie,” she will say, “how was school today?” A spark of hope of hope ignited within Alexis even though her mother had not bothered to ask her that question in years.
     As Alexis pulled into her driveway, she could feel her heavy heart lighten and start to beat just a little bit more freely. The beginnings of a smile played with the corners of her mouth, her thoughts lingered on what was waiting for her inside. As she walked up the snowy front steps, she let her arms swing loosely at her sides. She had a different bounce to her step that wasn’t there that morning when she left the house for school. Even though it was one of the coldest days of the year, Alexis could already begin to feel that unique warmth that fills her body with each delicious Christmas cookie bite. She inserted her key into the door and turned the lock. She could hear a slight click and the door swung open.
     Darkness. The house was completely black, cold and empty. No one was home. And there definitely were not any cookies in the oven, either. That warmth that Alexis had begun to feel was suddenly gone, extinguished from her body just like the wind can extinguish a candle's flame in mere seconds. The black hole had reappeared deep in her chest, but this time, Alexis made no move to stop it from spreading. The hole made her feel empty inside and it spread throughout her entire body, up her arms and into her fingers. It spread down one leg and then the other until it reached the floor. The house was just an extension to her body, a dark, and empty shell, just like she was. Turning away, she returned to her car, put it in gear, and drove off alone, deep into the dark and empty night. 

II. Mother
     An eerie silence encased the night. As the snow fell, the flakes danced, forging patterns in the air, until they hit the ground, softly creating a white blanket that quieted the world. Darkness had already settled in, marking its territory over the land. Even the city, which was crowded with late night shoppers, had a unified tranquility that ran deep into the streets. The noises that could be heard had a sense of calm and rhythm. They blended, unnoticed, into the darkness.
     As Diana drove home through the hushed city streets, she listened to this silence and was comforted by the simplicity of it all. She was on her way home from a long and strenuous day at work, and she could already feel her back start to ache. She hummed along to the radio as it played her favorite Christmas songs, and her tired eyes gazed out ahead, fascinated with the snowflakes which looked as if they were falling in slow motion. The light turned red in front of her and she rolled to a stop behind the line of cars. Diana watched as two figures, hunched over in the shadows of the snow, made their way across the road. One silhouette was that of a girl who was quite small in proportion to the other figure who must have been the child’s mother.
     Diana quickly looked away as a feeling of disquiet worked its way into her chest. The memories that she had tried to block out for many years now flashed to the front of her mind. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t shut them out. Images of her and her daughter, Alexis, walking hand in hand down this very street many years ago sharply cut into her thoughts. She could still remember those holiday seasons when she had not made enough money to buy any gifts and so the best she could do was take her daughter window shopping. Seeing these two figures walking alone in the freezing cold and unrelenting winds reminded Diana of a flood of old and painful memories.  She remembered how she had to hold Alexis’ little hand as her daughter’s wide eyes peered longingly through the lit up windows staring at all of the toys and presents she would never have. Diana could still remember her stomach twisting in knots as she watched this. They would then have to walk back to the house, because it was too expensive to hire a cab, and at this point in her life, Diana’s salary did not allow her the luxury of owning her own car. Their feet would freeze on this walk home, as the wet snow seeped into the holes in their second-hand boots. The duo would then return home with the small gifts that they had bought at the dollar store. Diana could still remember how after such outings, she was filled with the pain of wanting so much more for her daughter. She always would make cups of hot cocoa, as if to apologize. But nothing could make up for the fact that they had to sip it by the stove, the only warm place in the house since the heating bill was yet again unpaid. Diana smiled as the flood of images turned to the only two happy memories from this time: Christmas music blasting through the small radio on the kitchen floor, her joyful and carefree daughter singing along to every word; and the cookies. She had to work a double shift just to earn enough money to buy the ingredients for her special sugary dough. But the smile it brought to her daughter’s face and the delicious aroma it brought to the house for days afterwards made everything worthwhile. Every year, she and Alexis would spend hours mixing, rolling and cutting out the shapes. This was the time each year when the holiday spirit could be found in the dark house, for the cookies warmed and brightened even the gloomiest of corners.
     A car horn honked behind Diana and abruptly snapped her back into reality. The mother and daughter had already moved on and were now halfway down the block. Diana knew what she had to do. Times had changed, she had gotten a different job, a job that allowed her to buy luxuries like the car she was driving and presents for the holiday, but she and Alexis had also grown apart. This new job kept her working late into the night, and though their living style changed for the better, she could not say that she knew her daughter any more. Diana could not even remember the last time she asked how her daughter’s day was. A lump of shame began to form deep down in the pit of her stomach.
     Grasping the wheel she sharply turned the car around to head back into the city. Determined, Diana plowed forward, cutting a path through the heavy white blanket. When she got to the market, she knew exactly what she needed, and she hurriedly grabbed all of the ingredients. Back in the car, she turned the volume up on the radio, wanting to bring herself back to the moment when she was with her daughter and they had time to just laugh and sing together.
     As Diana pulled into her driveway, she felt a transformation in her bones. Something from deep inside rose up to her surface and was let go, out into the air. Diana walked with light feet up to her front door, oblivious to the already marked path of foot prints heading to and from the house. In her mind, she could already see her daughter’s radiant smile greeting her at the door, and the two of them walking into the kitchen to bake together the warm and delicious cookies that they both loved so much. From now on, things would be different. She inserted her key into the door and turned the lock. She could hear a slight click and the door swung open.
     Darkness. The house was completely black, cold and empty. No one was home. The lightness in Diana’s body was suddenly gone, replaced by a burden that weighed her down and flattened her hopes. Leaving the ingredients on the counter, she found her room and sank onto her bed. As she closed her eyes, she could imagine the sweet and nostalgic smell of those cookies yet to be made flooding through the dark and cold house, bringing warmth to the night.