As I looked into my mother’s eyes from the back of that police car. I could only see all of her bottled up pain and disappointment flowing through the tears coming down her cheeks. I knew at that moment I needed to change. I needed to straighten out my life and earn back that respect I just lost. I couldn’t deal with seeing those eyes ever again. I’ve messed up one too many times. Things need to change.

My name is Caron Butler, and I grew up in a poor community in Racine, Wisconsin. I was surrounded by crooks and thugs. They all were trying to get me to change my lifestyle into a messed up parade of drugs and women like theirs. This is the story of how I said no, and how I overcame my background that labeled my life. This is the story of Caron Butler. This is my story.

My childhood was no fairytale. It was filled with me running into the law almost constantly. I’m not going to talk about the details. I don’t like thinking about that time in my life. I was raising myself in the streets to be the “man” the local drug-dealing rich people always told me about. Little did I know that wasn’t the “man” anyone, including myself, wanted to be. 

I can remember what the police officer said to me when I was 15 years old. I was in the back of his police cruiser for the last of 15 times. He looked me in the eyes while unlocking my handcuffs. He hesitantly said, “I hope I’m making the right decision.” I was just grateful I wasn’t going to jail. The meaning behind his words didn’t hit me until that night when I arrived at my house and I saw my mom sitting on the steps crying and holding a bottle of alcohol. I need to set my life on the right track. I can’t keep doing this to her. I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I went inside, and cried myself to sleep that night. I knew what I was doing to my life and everyone around me. I vowed to myself that night that I would change. I had to make my mom proud of me again, and most of all, to not be remembered as a thieving, lying crook.

Now I want to fast forward a few years to when I got into a high school on the “good” side of town. I wasn’t liked by almost anyone, because they knew my past, but I promised myself that I would change my future to prove them all wrong. I wasn’t very good at anything until I tried basketball, I didn’t know very much about the game I just knew I was a pretty good player. I finally got the recognition that I wanted my whole life when people started putting my name in the talk about high schoolers being good enough to play college basketball.

I knew deep down that people with the background I had didn’t achieve their dreams. The college coaches didn’t want to take a chance on a kid with a background like mine. I gave up on basketball, and my life for a while after hearing that, I started thinking one night. Why can’t I be the underdog that proves everyone wrong? Why can’t I be the star that came from the streets? Why does my background define who I am right now? I’m going to prove them they thought wrong. I used my past, and the people doubting me right now as fuel to get better and to go places.

I strived to be the best during the remaining years in my high school career. There was absolutely nothing that was going to stand in my way to being the best I can be when I’m on the court. All I needed was one chance, to prove everyone wrong, to prove that I am better than my past says.

I laid in bed one night after getting the news. I just let the uncontrollable tears run down my face. I was going to play college ball for the University of Connecticut. I got the chance I needed, now I need to prove them wrong and succeed for a change. I can still remember going to the park that night, shooting the ball and letting the tears flow. I felt safe for a change, like I was wanted and needed. There was no more late nights listening to the gun shots out side, no more getting offered drugs on my way home from school. I was about to experience what it’s like to be wanted by someone, to be a role model to other people. I wasn’t someone your parents told you to stay away from anymore. I was the kid you strived to be like.

I walked onto campus that first day, and felt like I was dreaming. The people actually knew who I was and they wanted me there. I alternated between sitting in my room in awe that I’m actually getting a chance, and working out to make my dream come true for the first weeks. In a few short months, it was time to prove to myself that I was here for a reason.

I remember walking through that tunnel hearing the fans scream my name, I was just mesmerized by the amount of people that came to watch the team play. I knew I had to put on a show for them every night, to make sure they keep them liking me. I played two years with all the intensity my body could handle. It felt like my body was being controlled by someone else sometimes. I didn’t know how good I was actually doing until coach pulled me aside and told me I was being named Big East player of the year. I was speechless to even be considered for an award like this one.

The next few months went by like a blur, it all seemed to go so fast, it was like I couldn’t even breathe without people noticing me. It didn’t slow down until I was in New York hearing the announcer calling off names. It seemed like a lifetime, only one hour after he started calling off names, all I heard was “And with the 10th pick in the 2002 draft, the Miami Heat select Caron Butler!” I was deafened by the noise of my family, and friends crying and screaming, they knew I was making it out of the projects. They didn’t know at the time, but I was bringing my family out of there with me.

This story isn’t your typical bedtime story, the underdog doesn’t simply just win. The underdog has to fight through all the pain and doubt, just hoping for the one chance to silence all his haters. That’s exactly what I did, I grew up being a scum that no one cared much for. I grew up disappointing everyone that cared about me. I don’t want you to be sorry for me, I want you to realize that all the bad in your life isn’t there to hurt your future. The bad is there to motivate you to make people forget about your past, to forget about all the bad that you’ve done for just one moment. In the end, all the bad can only make your successes that much sweeter.

I didn’t write this to make you feel bad, I wanted to show you my life and how even the biggest losers can win. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your life, the only thing that matters is what you’re doing with your future. Go out and prove them wrong, make your dreams a reality. This was the story of Caron Butler. This was my story.