In Brendan’s younger days, he frequently visited his grandparents, who owned a tan beach house. Swimming ran in the family’s blood, but Brendan was initially frightened because he believed the waters were shark infested. Upon hearing Brendan’s doubts, his grandfather chuckled and said, “the only sharks present are swimming in your brain, silly.” Those words, seemingly more in jest than in good faith, actually did wonders to Brendan’s confidence. He even found the concept of personal and internal sharks fascinating, which no longer frightened him as much.  Well, it seemed like that shark derived anxiety had resurfaced, powerfully circling his mind as he reached for his crimson buoy to begin his part time life guarding job.
As always, the moment Brendan stepped onto the indoor pool deck, he could not shake the sensation that his new part time job was a superficial cover for his problems. It was a mere illusion, designed only to convince his parents that he was actually allotting time for something useful, something to focus on improving his current situation. The most urgent of these issues was failing math this semester. This could only lead to one despicable resolution – summer school. Socially, he thought himself to be a warm and welcoming person. Yet, his recent split with his girlfriend had soured his mood to the extent that people began to distance themselves. And of course, college was right around the corner, and student loans would prowl into his life. His parents hoped that the earnings would would give him a positive outlook amid this sea of pessimism.
Yet, the gentle sway of the pool water forced him into a grimace. It was a sardonic and mocking movement, reinforcing the mirage that Brendan had made it out to be. The laughter of the little infants grasping onto their mothers or fathers during the mommy-and-me class sounded just like Brendan’s giggle when he was a child. Only now, that laughter had all together disappeared from Brendan’s vocal chords. The worst image was undoubtedly the groups of students, all Brendan’s age, that were given the opportunity to use this place as a source of recreation. They had done well in school, remained in stable relationships, and clearly relished these moments of freedom. Brendan shuddered at the irony that his reason for being there could be so drastically different than those others who were exactly the same age.
His left foot splashed into a puddle of water on the deck. He brought the squeegee apparatus like an automaton, and guided the excess water into the drain. Then, he headed to the boiler room in the back, in order to retrieve the tubes and pills to test the pH and chlorine levels of the water. After filling one tube with pool water and dropping the pill inside, he shook the solution. The movement of his arms were haphazard and carefree, allowing water to drip outside the container. Brendan did not find his job boring, but did feel slighted by his supervisor’s choice to have him, as they only lifeguard in the staff, to assist with pool maintenance. He craved for interactions with the patrons, and this was taking him as far away as possible.
Even life guarding was a drag. Brendan sat perched on the chair trying his best to appear engaged with his role, but after a couple minutes, his hunched over posture betrayed that appearance. He scanned the instructors energetically teaching the group classes, and occasionally glanced at the families enjoying this time to swim. Brendan looked at the giant clock, almost as mystically as the Greeks observed the sun, counting every tick of the clock hands. But this tendency only made the five hours of his shift pass more slowly. He lethargically noticed a young boy sprinting down the side of the deck, and gave a half-assed, “Stop running, please.” The child paid no attention whatsoever and dove headfirst into the pool, violating two pool rules in the span of ten seconds. Now, Brendan leaped out of his chair, but only out of anger for the boy ignoring his commands. He could care less that a lifeguard was actually supposed to enforce pool protocol because that’s what his job entailed.
He violently blew his whistle twice, prompting the boy to look up. The boy’s face was painted with pure fear combined with a touch of perplexity, expectedly evoking no sympathy from Brendan. “Why didn’t you listen to me the first time?” Brendan aggressively asked. The question stumped the child for a couple seconds, for he had expected Brendan to open up with a lecture against the danger of running instead. Brendan stuck to his improvised playbook, and re-phrased his question into “Don’t you respect my authority?” The child couldn’t handle the pressure from this barrage of questions, and pleaded with Brendan that it would be the last time he ever failed to listen. Brendan walked back to his chair with an unmistakable pride. The whistle needed to be blown only a few more times, and so Brendan drifted into his own thoughts when the incidents on deck and in the pool decreased. At last, the clock struck four, and Brendan departed from the pool era. He headed to the front of the health club to punch out his time card. He began to scrutinize the card, and calculated that he worked for a total of 15 hours this week. He somehow thought of his dad, who was trapped in his office cubicle 8 hours a day doing tax work. His dad wanted nothing more than to be a sports journalist, interviewing major players and uncovering the next big news about star athletes. Life shoved that dream into the dumpster, and when Brendan agreed to accompany his father to the “Take your child to work day,” even he, at 8 years old, could diagnose the unhappiness in his dad’s flushed face. He exited the building and thought of what to make of the waning hours of his Sunday.
The following afternoon, the pool area was abnormally cold. Brendan entered through the side door and stowed his belongings in the cabinet. When he glanced into the pool, he was shocked to see only one instructor taking a group class. His supervisor suddenly walked up to him seemingly out of the blue.
“There’s been some complications with our staff situation, many just left for the summer without telling me,” he quipped. His face was tomato red and he spoke at such a quick pace that Brendan had trouble following along.
He said, “I was forced to send groups of parents away, promising them that their money would be refunded, but I just don’t know what to do now.”
Brendan responded, “ Yeah this is bad for sure, but I’ll do anything to help out.”
Brendan completely regretted uttering those words, given that he couldn’t stand the thought of extra work, but he realized that saying anything else would exacerbate the situation. His supervisor’s face suddenly lit up, as if a light bulb inside had suddenly flickered.
“You’d make a perfect swim instructor, and even though you haven’t formally trained in that area, I’m fully confident that you’ll learn on the fly.”
Brendan silently nodded, but experienced a gut-wrenching pain for putting himself in this position. He walked into the office, picked up his buoy and slammed it into the ground out of mere frustration. He called his mother without the announcement that he would be picking up his colleague’s hours, much to her delight. He barely listened, but still vaguely heard money and hard work repeated frequently. His parents ostensibly believed that throwing around key phrases regarding success stories would inspire him. Well, it most certainly did not.
The next day Brendan strolled into the area with a nervous gait, clearly displeased with his new role. He quietly entered the locker room to change into his proper outfit, and exited onto the pool deck to gather his first class. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his supervisor observing him like a hawk. Brendan shuddered at the thought of high expectations for an instructor on his first day and for his first time.
He found his first class waiting by the edge, and remebered that this was a beginner class for children who still needed flotation devices in the water. He asked for their names, but his voice came out in a hoarse whisper. Nonetheless, the names flew in the air like comets. Annie. Billy. Jamie. Donald. Brendan found himself becoming lightheaded. He mustered up the strength to maintiain a clear mind, and slid down the ladder into the refreshing grasp of the water. The class went smoothly by for about fifteen minutes, until the kids began to become stubbornly restless. They refused to listen to Brendan’s instructions. They talked and splashed when Brendan tried to speak to them. Brendan begged one girl, Jessica, to follow his directions and grab the kickboard. “No way Jose,” was her reply, and she then turned to continue splashing her friends. That feeling of losing control over a situation that was in perfectly good shape was perhaps the worst Brendan had ever encountered. It was so unexpected and so striking that for two minutes, Brendan just stared at nothing in particular in a stunned manner. Once his mind settled down, the next images Brendan saw were the angry faces of parents, lurking around the pool deck. In a haste, Brendan screamed at the children with such vigor that even he surprised himself. Most activity stopped and everyone (not a hyperbole) seemed to turn around. Brendan cheeks became flushed and he cowered a little to hide his embarrassment. At the end of class, Brendan jogged to the locker room, showered in scalding hot water, changed into his clothes, and left the facility completely. He needed time to think, and time to reflect if this job was really right for him. The pressure was so excessively high, with those parents and his own, that he felt that his balloon heart could burst any second.
The next day was gloomy and depressing, with rain continously falling since midnight. Brendan had just entered and gone hrough the usual routine, preparing the kickboards and noodles, testing the chlorine levels, and filling out his classes on the payroll sheet. Suddenly, he noticed a woman, perhaps in her forties, sitting down on the bench with her face flushed and tears forming in the corner of her eye. On her lap was a young child, no more than six years old. Brendan watched from afar with curiosity, but hesitated to approach her. The woman stared out into the pool, her clear blue eyes matching the color of the pool. Brendan walked to the edge and felt his fingers through the tepid water. His eyes drifted off for a second before refocusing on the woman again. This time, however, he slowly stood up, and without hesitation walked over to her. This abrupt decision to do so shocked himself more than anything, but something inside of him willed him because he knew something was wrong.
“Is everything okay?” Brendan asked.
The woman seemed startled at first, but regained her composure and then appeared delighted that an eager boy was in front of her.
“ No no, nothing’s the matter,” she continue, “ It’s just been a tough time getting my kid Charlie into the water. I’ve tried everything – group and private lessons, but nothing is working. None of the instructors can teach him, and I don’t blame them obviously with Charlie being mute… He just can’t focus.”
“ Mute?” Brendan incredously responded. “Well, our aquatics program is probably like the best in the country ma’am… for specialized kids, I’m sure we can find someone to have success with him.”
“ Like I said, I tried everything. He can’t follow simple directions once he’s in the water. And he can’t verbalize anything so obviously nobody knows what’s in that little head of his. You wouldn’t know this, but I was a champion swimmer in high school and college. Hell, I even swam at the olympic trials. I met some of the best American swimmers out there, like Missy Franklin and Rebecca Sony. My only dream was for Charlie to become a great swimmer and carry on our family name in the water.”
Brendan asked further, “ If you’re so well connected, then why don’t you try to ask some of the higher-ups to teach your son.”
She merely laughed it off. “Kid, I’m a forgotten soul now. Nobody remembers and cares about me anymore.”
The look on her face was so strikingly morose that Brendan’s heart dropped.
“Well I care.”
The words didn’t so much come from his mouth, then erupt and reverberate on the walls of the place. Or at least it seemed for Brendan. Her reaction was a brief moment of stunned silence followed by a giant and gleeful smile.
“You seem like a caring boy. Would you be willing to try one last time, just for me?”
Brendan puffed his chest and smiled back.
“ Of course!” he replied, “ Charlie is now my responsibility and I’ll make sure he learns swimming from the very best.”
Both of them chuckled for what seemed like minutes. Eventually, they exchanged contact information, and settled on a time that worked. It would be a standard private lesson, but Brendan insisted that it run for fifteen more minutes than the normal half and hour class. The mother agreed. Brendan walked home that day with a sense of pride and confidence that he’d never experienced before in a while. After all, it was such a bold move on his part to approach her. He could have left her alone to bathe in her sadness. Never mind, he thought. There was a task in front of him, and no way could failure be a part of this.
Brendan sat in his bedroom, thinking over and over, how exactly he would structure this first lesson. Since he couldn’t communicate verbally with the child, he needed to use signs and gestures. But then he thought back again to what she had mentioned to him. The issue was that Charlie was distracted and not focused, because he simply wasn’t… stimulated. Then Brendan knew a possibility. Pictures. Vivid imagery. It was so uncoventional that it just might work. Quickly, Brendan rummaged through his sister’s closet in the next room. Yes! She was an art major and he just knew that she’d leave some things behind. He seized some large wooden popsicle sticks and grabbed a carton of Elmers glue. The computer was off when Brendan returned back to his desk, so he booted it up. All he needed to do was pull up the American Red Cross link in his history tab, and viola, the children’s pictures were all there. Longfellow’s Whale Tales was the name of it. He photoshopped and upscaled many of the different photographs, each showing one component of swimming. Blowing bubbles, breathing on the side, arm circles, were all there and displayed in such a creative manner. Brendan even proceeded to add his own little twists on the pictures, sometimes photoshopping pictures of his friends in the scene.
On the first day of his private lesson, Brendan was surprised to find himself nervous and worried.
“First impression are one of the biggest things in a relationship,” his girlfriend would say.
Lucky for him, good first impressions were his strong suit, part of why she was immediately drawn to him. But a first impression with a mute child was an entirely different story. So much so that it could be the deciding factor for this little endeavor.
Brendan first saw the mother walking towards him and his adrenaline began pumping through his body. The child followed behind and his appearance was so comical that Brendan nearly laughed out loud, but caught himself. His goggles were put on so tightly they seemed stitched to his face, and his shorts were so baggy they seemed ready to fall down at any second. Nevertheless, Brendan put on his serious “business” attitude and approached the two.
“Hey buddy,” Brendan warmly said to Charlie.
Charlie blinked his eyes twice, maybe thrice and blankly stared. His mom interjected on how great it was to see him and how excited she was for this new opportunity. Brendan told her again that this would be a steep learning curve for him too so expectations should be low.
Right off the bat, Charlie repeatedly shook his head when Brendan tried coaxing him into the water. So he was going to bring out the pictures earlier than expected, but if this trial run worked then he could build on some momentum. He grabbed a toy duck from the nearest box, and chucked it into the water.
“ Look here, Charlie, look look!” he exclaimed, “ We need to save the rubber ducky or he might… DROWNNN!”
Brendan dunked himself down under the water and leaped back up and down to demonstrate drowning. Charlie appeared amused but still remained motionless. Good start, thought Brendan, and so he continued further. He tried submerging the duck under water and then Charlie gave a startled cry. He gently strolled near the deck and almost in one motion, Brendan swooped across and snatched Charlie into the water. All the while, he turned Charlie so that his eyes remained glued to the rubber duck that was now gently oscillating at the surface of the pool. Charlie pointed his finger out to the duck and then began waving his arms up and down.
“Let’s go!” screamed Brendan.
Holding him by his belly and back, Brendan gently guided Charlie along until they were reasonably close to the duck. Charlie looked at it eye-to-eye.
Then, Brendan raised the first picture on the wooden stick up from the pocket that it was stored in. The first rule it read was always wear your life jacket or floatie. The picture of a whale adorned in a life jacket captured Charlie’s undivided attention for a couple moments.
“ Remember, Charlie, before we go to help our friends, we always think about safety first. One of the rules is always wear a floatie when you want to come into the pool.”
To Brendan’s surprise, Charlie nodded eagerly. His mom, observing cautiously from the deck, exclaimed, “ My goodness he’s listening to you!”
Brendan handed the duck into Charlie’s palm and exited the pool with him to grab a flotation bubble. He decided to work on floating next. He took out a little picture of a whale floating on its belly.
“Ok Charlie, chest up, chin back, legs spread, arms out,” Brendan sang along. “I’m a little pancake on my back, I’m a little pancake nice and flat, I’m a little pancake on my back, so flip me over and flip me back!”
Brendan flipped Charlie in the water, and Charlie responded with a tender smile and a fully engaged attitude. If Charlie could laugh, this would be the moment.
Charlie and Brendan continued their classes for an entire year. Every single time, Charlie would be more excited than the last to meet with his instuctor. It reached the point where Charlie would not even step into the pool deck without seeing Brendan first. He needed Brendan, and although Brendan only realized it after their private lessons ended, he needed Charlie too. Charlie was a symbol that declared that Brendan’s own life was worth something so important. Their relationship was proof that one can make a difference when least expected. The following summer, Brendan took a new job at a educational facility for special needs children. But really it wasn’t so much a job for him than an acceptance of the role that he was destined to play in these children’s lives.