I stand still and the only thing I hear is my heartbeat, even though there is so much sound around me, the cars zooming past, the builders working on houses, the leaves rustling, but all I hear is my own heartbeat, I stand at the mailbox and just stare at it. I have to check it, force myself to put the key in and reach to grab the letter of rejection or the letter of acceptance from the university of my dreams and I know it’s a couple minutes before Lexi comes and I have to leave for the rock show that’s a gift for getting accepted but I’m paralyzed. I can’t move. Then I hear a scream and it only takes me a second to register that I’m the one screaming, that I’m the one with the heart-wrenching scream, soon I lose my breath and just pant like my Labrador on an intensely hot day. At least if Lexi sees me, she won’t think I’m strange, she’ll just know this is how I get, how I always get. I remember how I hit my crush a little too hard when it was meant to be playful after he said he thinks of me only as a sister, just like how I got rejected for my internship with my idol and I busted all of my mother's fine china and that’s only some of the times I got rejected, my breaths get slower and I seem okay and I stand up straight and reach in the mailbox, no longer having the fear that once paralyzed me but now having so much determination that I’ll be accepted. I grab the 3 things in the mail. What I find is the bill for energy, flyer for the annual neighborhood fundraiser, and the letter that could determine my future. I drop everything on the ground including my phone and clutch the letter. This is it. I slowly rip it open and hope for dear life I’m accepted. The paper rips the skin on my finger forming a paper cut but that is nothing compared to what could happen. I read the first line.
Dear Penelope,
We regret to inform you,
And that’s all I had to read. I feel myself fall onto the cold concrete and look up at the sky. Everything in my future is gone. I just let one tear drop. A single tear drop down my cheek and I don’t even try to get up because the life I get up to will be nothing of what it was supposed to be. Going to that rock show was supposed to be a celebration because everyone assumed I was going to get in. Everybody but me. I put my hands to my face and close my eyes while the tears just keep falling, soon Lexi approaches me, helping me up and envelopes me in a hug. I’m surprised and a little ungrateful she showed up at this moment. She may know what’s going on but I hate crying around people I know.  I feel her wet tears fall onto my shoulder and I wonder why she’s crying. She didn’t get rejected. “I got in,” she whispers in my ear and I feel faint, feel like I want to hit her, cry, smile, and scream. Then I do something I never thought I would. I laugh and go into hysterics. I’m crazy, completely and utterly crazy. Then I scream. What is wrong with me? I scream until I feel faint and darkness consumes me.