Dinner is something of a formality in our house and I rather do anything else than sit around with my family and eat while I get lectured by my dad. Today however, the lecture turned serious and into a shouting match pretty quickly, which in the following days would become common in our household.
**

“Nathan, I heard from Maxwell the football tryouts were today? Did you try out”?
I privately cursed Richard Maxwell our estranged neighbor. He was heavily involved in the school council and knew about anything happening in the high school before the teachers even did. The topic for today was the football team which due to underfunded education system, just started today.
“I didn’t try out dad.” 
“And why not?”, dad says eyeing me like a tiger eyes its prey before catching it.
In answer, I chew my food loudly.
Dad sighs and raises his voice- “Nathan, I don’t understand. Why don’t you try to do anything else except play that stupid trombone of yours?”
“Because I can’t be like them! I can’t be queen of sports or academics and be on the top of the social ladder!”, I said gesturing towards my older sisters.
“You don’t have to be like them but just try to get yourself noticed. It will help you-”
That’s when I push me my dinner plate and leave the room.
I slam shut the door to my room and sit down on the bed. There’s a reason I don’t try out for sports or get myself noticed in school, I think to myself.
There’s a light knock on my door and my sisters waltz in.
“Nathan, you know dad means well-” Kate says
“I don’t want to be like what he wants.” I say matter-of-factly.
“But what’s wrong with being us. We’re popular and smart. Isn’t that what everyone wants in high school?”, Diana says.
“I have to go to sleep”, and I pull up on the covers.
“Fine, go to sleep.”, Diana says and leaves the room.
“Is everything okay at school Nathan?”, Kate asks
No I want to answer. Nothing is ever okay at school with me. Instead I turn over and pretend to go to sleep.
Kate leaves the room soon after and I pretend to go to sleep. After a while when everyone is asleep, I quickly unlock my window and sneak out of the house.

I take out a cigarette from my pocket and light it. The warmth from it helps me calms me down.  I start walking towards my destination, a small park two blocks down. I stop in the catwalk and lean against the fence and think about what is going to happen tomorrow at school.
I have got to stop smoking I think to myself. I stub out the cigarette with my heel and walk back to my house, with my thoughts haunting me the entire way.
**
“Hey sticks, did you bring me my money?”, Chad whispers in my year.
“No I didn’t.”, I say walking towards the football field.
“Okay then we’ll talk about this after school”, Chad smiles
I see Kate and Diana walking out of the girls’ gym entrance.
“How about we go say hello.”, Chad says.
Before I even have time to answer he puts and enormous hand on my shoulder and steers me toward them.
“What’s up guys?”, Chad asks
“We were just practicing cheer for the game.”, Kate says.
“The football team really supports the cheer”, says Chad smiling.
“Thanks Chad. Anyway we have to go back and practice.”
“Good luck”
And with that they walk away.
**
Chad catches me trying to sneak out the gym entrance at the end of the day.
“Look at what we have here. Gentlemen, I present to you Sticks, also-known-as Nathan Johnson.”
“What should his punishment for not giving the money?” Jason asks
In reply, Chad pushes me to the ground and proceeds to punch me in the ribs.
“Tomorrow junior, if you don’t have the money, you’ll pay more than bruises.”, and Chad walks away.

**

The pharmacy is a small store located at the corner of two streets. The pharmacist there is even more ancient than the store itself. I go in quickly before anyone recognizes me here. I walk towards the pain relief aisle and find what I was looking for.
“How much does this pain-relief cream cost?” I ask the pharmacist
“$15.” He replies
I buy the cream and walk out of the pharmacy.  When will this end? I think to myself. Chad has been torturing me since sophomore year. My conscious tells me more trouble is on the way. I take out a cigarette and smoke it all the way home, the warmth spreading through my entire body.
**
“So do you have my money.?” Chad asks
“No, I won’t give you any money anymore. I won’t be bullied anymore.”
“No one likes a smart boy. You will pay me. But first you will see the consequences of not respecting me.”
Suddenly Jake and Cody wrestle someone to the ground and Danny pins my arms together.  I struggle to see who it is. Charlie Higson the boy who sits in front of me in math class, is on the ground. Chad proceeds to punch him.
“No!” I scream
I push Danny’s hand away and jump on Chad’s back. I started punching him. Then suddenly I was pushed on my back and I saw Chad’s arm raise and thump me on the nose.  I felt something unhinge and blood gushing out.
“Chad we need to go”, Jake says nervously
Chad breathes heavily and then punches me one more time than leaves.
I get up and see Charlie looking at me with fear in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” He says.
I look at him and then get up with blood gushing out of my nose.
“Thanks for helping me. You need to get that nose checked. We can go-”
That’s when I walk away.
                                                                                           **

I retreat in the catwalk and touch my nose lightly. The blood has stopped but my nose feels like it has been beaten with a hammer. I take out a cigarette with shaking hands and light it. The smoke lightly dissipates and I feel it touching my nose, stinging a little.
**
“Has he returned home?” Dad asks me.
“No I haven’t seen him.” I reply
“It’s almost 7 in the evening and this boy doesn’t return home even though he knows he has a curfew.”
Diana and I quickly leave the room and go upstairs to my room hearing dad’s voice loudly echo up the stairs. 
“Something is wrong.  Nathan is usually back home before even we come back. Don’t you feel he is hiding something”?
“Shh.” Diana whispers suddenly.
The noise of suddenly a lock hatching is coming from Nathan’s room.
Diana and I slowly come out of our room and walk towards Nathan’s room. I slowly turn the knob and open the door.
**

My sisters stand in the doorway and stare at me with pupils as wide as the ocean. I quickly take out the cigarette out of my mouth and hold it between my fingers.
“What are you doing here?”, I ask
“Nathan, what happened?” Kate asks eyeing my nose and the cigarette
Suddenly Diana steps forward and grabs me into a hug and Kate joins in.
The tears rush like raindrops from my eyes and I tell them about Chad’s torture routine from the past year.
“I’m so sorry.” Diana says tears leaking from her eyes.
“Chad won’t get away with this” Kate says brushing out the tears out of her eyes.
“But you have to promise us one thing”, Diana says glancing at Kate
“What”? I say
“No more smoking.”
I suddenly smile and look at my cigarette. I squish it between my fingers and throw it out of the window; I won’t be needing its warmth anymore.
**