August 4
School, a dread, a shoot in the face, a push off a train, and it is legit 21 days away! I'm not ready for all of this drama and extra drama that everyone loves to bring. Well suck it up Lierre, because it’s coming! Enough about school. Me and Thy have our 1 year anniversary on the 25th (same day we start school). Everyone says they are surprised that we lasted this long and to be completely honest with you, so am I. I mean, I know that's not good to say, but it's the truth. The real question is if it is really love I feel?
August 25
I can’t believe it! He freaking forgot our anniversary and then he's going to act like he didn't. He didn't even get me anything. Do you know how stupid I looked in front of everyone? I went to school dressed all up and ready to be surprised and when I walked up to him he said “Hey babe”. HEY BABE! Is that all you have to say Thy! I just don’t understand how he could forget. It’s the most important day in our relationship. It just really shows me who he is. I was so furious and I knew he could tell that I was mad by the way I stomped away, my ears where hot, my heart beating so loud and fast that people could hear. I even confronted him about it and all he said was “Sorry. I have better things to worry about.” I cried and cried I cried so much I don't think I can cry anymore. How could he say such a thing? How could he hurt me like this? All of this and then I met you. We met when you came up to me to find your class and then we found out that we had the first 3 periods together! I looked forward to our conversations every day.
September 9
I'm was still with him. He treats me so bad, but I love him, well at least I think I do. He's been acting so rude lately and I just don't understand why! He won't speak to me and let me know what's wrong with him or even why he's acting this way. On the other hand, we had been getting really close. I don't know what it is, but when I'm with you I could be myself and show who I really am. You treated me like a queen and actually seems to find interest in the things I said. I'm fully myself when around you and I love it! It’s as if you have the key to the part of me that has been locked up for so long.
September 30
Crying! Crying so much that I couldn’t even stop. The pain was weighing down on me. The words “I swear Lierre if I catch you speaking to him anymore I will hurt you!” play over and over in my head. I think Thy made me stop talking to you out of jealousy or maybe it was because he didn’t want to look weak in front of his friends. I didn’t know what it was, but I could see the smoke coming from his ears. I even thought for a second there he was going to hit me. I never thought Thy could be so aggressive, so controlling and so spiteful.
December 3
One shot and that’s it. No more, no less. The one I love. He’s helped me through it all, he was the reason I kept pushing, the reason I didn’t fall. And now he’s gone. Now he’s dead.
February 27
It’s my birthday, but it doesn't feel any better than the last few months of my life. Kind of wishing I didn't even make it to see 18. The pressure of getting up every morning and moving just aches my soul. It’s as if no one care. It’s too much to handle all at once. I don’t know if I can take it anymore. So this the last letter. Goodbye Nola, you really were the answer to my happiness.