He hesitates as he proceeds walking to the right. Pushing his thoughts aside with every stride. Not every step is life changing, but every step has the potential to be. During any second of any day, something could happen that will change your life forever, not necessary in a bad way, it could change it for the better. Every step took such extreme effort for him, trying to push his thoughts aside of why he should have stayed home. He pulled the door of the car open and stepped in. He continues taking deep breaths, reminding himself he wanted to be here, he wanted to be surrounded by people he trusts, and was going somewhere he loved, and sometimes he just needed to remind himself that. The car starts up and Jacob begins to calm down. He loved going through the mountains, and it was just a quick drive from his home in Boulder. He reminded himself he had nothing to worry about. Despite the fact that Jamyson wasn't his usual talkative self, this drive was no special event.

“Hey how far up the canyon are we going?” Jacob asked. He didn't like blindly riding, not knowing where they were going to stop and how far away they would be from home if anything were to happen.

“I need to be home for dinner. Just relax, we do this all the time and it's finally autumn so the trees will be turning.” Jamyson replied. It frustrated Jacob when he didn't answer a question, when he just replies words back with no answer. Jamyson reaches his hand off the wheel and turns the music loudly, signaling he didn't want to talk. Jamyson made Jacob nervous, despite being best friends. Jamyson has had a complex past and Jacob knew this. He knows he didn't have a good childhood, growing up as a foster child, living in homes that consisted of long nights of abuse, followed by loving homes that wouldn't keep him. He felt disposable and trust did not come easily for him. He's been with the family in boulder for almost almost 18 months and Jamyson constantly talks about seeing a future with them, finally having a forever family after all these years of getting dropped.

After a quick car ride the two boys were closing in on Nederland, where they occasionally get lunch before they turn back to Boulder. It was a silent car ride. The music was loud and both minds were racing, but there was still silence that came with lack of conversation. The winds caused the lake in town to have high waves, reminding Jacob of the ocean. They parked by it and walked down to the shore. Jacob poked for conversation getting short and dry responses. He fully understands not wanting to talk, so after a few more tries he leaves him be. Maybe he just needed company, not to talk. They turn and begin back to the car, kicking up dust from the trail and they walk. Once back in the car Jamyson takes a deep breath facing Jacob as if he's going to say something, then turns back and starts the car. Jacobs stress levels began to rise, he wanted to turn back and go home, this wasn't fun anymore and Jamyson was making him nervous. He knew something was wrong and he knew he had a vast past of anger building up and quickly breaking down. Never having a family who could constantly support and help him made it hard for him to express anger in a collective way.

“We should be getting back I still have an essay to write before school tomorrow.” Jacob said. He wanted to be there for him, but his head was over his heart, and he was no longer in the mood to sit and wait for his breakdown.

“I want to go a little longer I'm not ready to go home.” Jamyson replied quickly as if he had been waiting for Jacob to say that. Before anything else was said he was pulling out of the parking lot, and continuing farther into the mountains. Jacob was no longer in the mood to speak up about what he wanted and let Jamyson drive. They turned right onto a road going into the forest, passing a few homes. The music quickly cut off, Jacob grabbed his phone to turn it back on, finding the lack of service cut off the songs he was streaming. He didn't like this at all. Now not only did he not know where he was being taken, but he also had no way to reach anyone. Passing fewer and fewer houses he started to get fed up with his friend.

“Come on man I don't know what's up but I'm done I want to go home and I'm done tagging along for today. Where are you even going? Do you even know where we are? Turn around.” With no spoken reply, Jamyon just smiled.”What? Whats funny? You know how I feel about not knowing the destination and I don't know what's going on with you but you're being selfish.” The car quickly accelerated as he took numerous turns farther and farther away from anywhere where people were. The car came to a quick stop and Jamyson ripped the key out of the ignition.

“Get out then.” Jamyson had no humor in his voice.

“Stop. Turn the car on.” Jacob's voice was shaking. What was happening and what was the purpose of this drive?
“Get out.” He was screaming now. His eyes were watering.

“Why are you doing? If you want to talk we can.” Jacob stepped out of Jamysons’ car, scared to be sitting next to him.

“I want to know what it feels like.” This scared Jacob. Would his best friend hurt him?

“What are you talking about? Lets both go home and figure this out. You're scaring me.”

“Why is it so easy for everyone to leave me. Is it that easy to have someone live with you, to treat me like your son, then the next day just dispose of me? Am I not human? Everyone is done with me. And im done dealing with it.” At this point Jacob knew what he was talking about. His foster parents weren't going to adopt him. His heart ached horribly for Jamyson, but he was scared of him too.

“You're not. I'm not going to leave you ever. I'm always going to be by your side, you're my brother no matter what happens, no matter where you are or who you live with, you're my best friend.” Jacob's mind was rushing with comforting words, trying to calm him down. He wasn't ready for change like this, this wasn't supposed to happen, it was supposed to be a quick trip. His life changing event wasn't supposed to happen now.

“I'm sorry.” Tears were streaming down his face. “I need to know how they do it. I need to know. Maybe if I can leave you I'll understand. I'm so sorry Jacob.” Jamyson grabbed the passenger door and slammed it. Jacob quickly grabbed the door handle and pulled on it, but it was already locked. The car started driving. Jacob screamed at Jamyson but his sadness and hopelessness seemed to have blocked the sounds of his best friends cries. Jacob tried running after the car, but it quickly faded off into the distance. He ran down the road as fast as he could, but he couldn't find  the main road. Hours later he was still stuck in the woods, wandering, wondering what was going to happen to him, and to his best friend, what his mom was thinking. Darkness was setting in. He felt weak, tired, and the night was growing cold. In the distance he could see a small light. Hope grew quickly for him, running quickly towards the light. A house became more clear. Then as quickly as his hope grew, it was gone.

A man stood on the porch, with a gun. Then shots. A sharp pain cut through his stomach. It didn't make sense, why would this all happen to him? As the light became blurred. The man started running towards him as he crumbled onto the ground. Soon enough red and blue lights were flashing as he gasped for air. Thoughts ran through his head, so many questions. His best friend did this to him, but why him? He heard the medics in the ambulance talking. He wasn't making it out alive. The man confused him for an animal or something along those lines. He thought of his dinner waiting at home for him. He thought of Jamyson, how he came home one day and was told yet again that he wasn't good enough for a permanent spot in his family's home and lives. He wondered what was going to happen to him, where he went, if he even made it home. He hurt for him. He shut his eyes, then he let go.