All I could hear was the beep of the flat line. Everyone around me was talking but I couldn’t hear a single word. All there was, was that flat line. I was frozen in my place, with the scalpel in my hand. There is no way this happened. Jakob could not be dead.

“Jakob Campbell, 11 years old, diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy,” said the nurse
“Is he on the transplant list?” I looked at her with hope.
“Yes, he has been since april 2015,” she responded
“What's his ranking?” I waited as she checked.
“He’s still 19 on the list, he has been for almost a year now,” she confirmed.
“Has his condition been getting worse?” I really hope not.
“Well there's really no way for it to get better without a new heart…” she answered blankly.
I blushed at my lack of knowledge, I turned to Jakob.
“Well, Jakob, how do you feel?” He looked so tired.
“I feel fine, honestly, I think I could go home today!” I couldn't really tell if he was being sarcastic or if he just wanted to get out of here.
“Not quite yet buddy,”
“But I hate it here,”  Jakob looked down to his hands.
It’s funny how someone could hate a place I love so much. I love the sterile smell of the hospital, I love the adrenaline I get when I cut. I love the competition, I just love everything about this place. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard yelling in the hallway.
“Well Paul, where am I supposed to get the money? I’ve been slaving just to keep a roof above our heads all while you live in your huge mansion, with your what? fifteen year old wife?”
I could hear a man’s voice but I could make out what he said.
“I wasn’t expecting this either, what mother would anticipate and expect her son to be ill? We never agree on anything, but this time I really need your help!”
“There isn’t much for me to do! I barely know Jakob because of you--”
“Because of me?” She shouted
“Because of me? You’re the one who left us!”
“Yeah, but you never let me visit Jakob!”
“Sure, because you always ask--”
“Ok guys, please, this needs to stop. There are children all around”  Dr.Edwin interrupted.
It went silent as everyone walked in and I just twiddled my thumbs and looked around.
“How are you Jakob? You look much better then when you first came in,” Edwin waited for a response
“I’m good, mom, dad I feel fine. We can just go home and forget about this. You can stop worrying about the money,” Jakob looked down.
“Jakob I’m sorry but it’s not that simple. Your test results say otherwise. You’re so strong Jakob, your parents will be okay,” Edwin stated and Jakobs mom nodded in agreement.
She walked over and hugged Jakob and kissed his forehead.

Everyday on Jakob seemed to be getting better. It seemed like the surgery didn’t even have to be done. My selfish tendencies made me kind of angry that I may not be preforming the surgery. But there will be other times. “Code red in room 203” when on the speakers. My eyes widened in terror, and my face lost all color, that’s Jakob’s room. I dropped my pen and ran to Jakob’s room. Everyone in the room was swarmed around Jakob.

“What happened?” I yelled.
“Jakob’s stats dropped and we lost his heartbeat. He’s stable now, but his heart is getting worse,” a nurse stated.
I looked over to Jakob’s mom and pulled her aside. “Jakobs getting worse, this means his ranking on the transplant list is going up. We’re going to get him into surgery soon,” her big, brown eyes were glassy.
“Okay, and you’re the lead surgeon?”
“I am but I assure you I’m ready.” Lie.
“Dr. White, I trust you,” she reassured me.
“Dr. White Jakob’s stats are falling, he needs to get into surgery now,” I panicked, a surgeon never shows weakness though.
“Where is he on the transplant list now?”
“He’s number one because of his declining health, Dr. Edwin is on his way to Utah to get the heart, he’ll be back soon”
“Okay we need to prep him, take him to OR 3.”
The nurses began to take Jakob to the OR. This was a tricky surgery, not because it’s hard, but because it’s so sudden. I’m the best intern and I know that, but that didn’t stop my hands from sweating and my heartbeat from quickening. His life was in my hands. I made my way over to the OR until I stood right outside of the scrub room and took a deep breath. I pushed the door open and made my way to the sink. I started the timer and began to scrub my hands. First my palms, then I brushed over my nails, next between my fingers and then I scrubbed my arms. I looked into the OR through the window, almost all the nurses were huddled around Jakob, the others setting up. Jakob was saying something, but I couldn’t hear. I don’t feel 100% ready but hopefully everything will workout. I don’t think anyone would be 100% ready when it’s so sudden. But I know what I’m doing, Jakob is in good hands. I was taken back into reality when the timer went off. I dried my hands and put my gown on and walked into the OR.
“Jakob, sweetie what’s wrong?”
“ Where’s my mom?” He was crying.
“She’s just outside, you’re going to be fine.”
“I’m scared,” he whispered.
“Jakob, we’ve been waiting for this, you’re so strong, but you have to do this.”
“Okay”
“Alright, you’re going to sleep now.”
“Okay,” He whispered again.

All I could hear was the beep of the flat line. Everyone around me was talking but I couldn’t hear a single word. All there was, was that flat line. I was frozen in my place, with the scalpel in my hand. There is no way this happened. Jakob could not be dead. “Dr. White, he’s gone.”
I carefully put the scalpel down and left. Jakob’s mom stood up with her mouth open.
“I thought the surgery was longer, there must be a mistake. Dr. White... DR.WHITE,” she shouted. He voice kept getting fainter as I continued walking. I went to the locker room and finally took my gloves and gown off. I changed into the clothes I came in that morning. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. He didn’t go through all of that just for me to kill him. I’m a murderer, that’s what I am. I was walking down the stairs when I saw Jakob’s mom crying. People all around me were crying. Why would I ever love a place with so much death and so much sadness?
“Dr. White, where do you think your going?” Edwin shouted from the top of the staircase.
“Home,” I whispered.
With that the door slid open and I was gone.

All the days went by in a blurr. I just repeated over and over what went wrong. I put the heart in but it wouldn’t beat. Why wouldn't the heart beat? The flat line just got louder and louder. All I hear now is the flat line and all I see is Jakob. I couldn’t do anything. I never seemed to get hungry and I convinced myself that the shower broke.
That’s until a got a phone call. Like every other phone call I’ve gotten I let it go to voice male. “Dr. White it’s time to come back.” It was doctor Edwin. I didn’t know what to do, to be honest I didn’t care. But somehow I found myself in my car driving to the hospital. I got out of the car and stood by the entrance. I opened the door and was greeted by the nurse sitting at the front desk. I made my way over to the research lab and pulled the door open. My footsteps echoed as I walked to my chair and took a seat.

And finally everything felt right again.