Beep beep beep. Oh s***! How do I always sleep through my alarms? Okay whatever maybe one day I’ll learn. Who am I kidding? I've been late to everything my whole life, my 5th grade birthday party at the bounce house, freshman orientation, prom...boy prom was a mess. Stop getting distracted Ryan!
It’s 7:00, I have to be there at 9, subway takes 45 minutes. That leaves me an hour to get ready, I can work with that.
Chic, or sophisticated? Ugh picking the right outfit is so hard. Sometimes I wish I didn't work in a place so focused on fashion. But hey working at Cosmopolitan at 23 is still pretty cool. Even if it is just an internship. Anyway, I guess I can mix the two. A white pencil skirt with blue, red and yellow flowers, perfect for the start of spring! Pair it with a white ruffled chiffon shirt and my nude pumps. Blazer or no? It’s still cold outside so I wear my old navy blue blazer to go with the flowers on the skirt. 45 minutes left. Makeup, hair, then out the door.
First step; wash all my acne medicine from the night off my face. Step two; curse my family history for the fact that I still have acne. Step three; actually apply the makeup. Putting on foundation is the thing I hate doing most in life. It takes so long and I don't feel truly like myself. I know, I know I don't have to wear it, but if I didn't, I’d feel like the whole world is checking out the white head that sprouted last night while I was in my weakest state. It's not like I hate makeup as a whole, my favorite part is when you finish and it all starts to come together. Those concealer dots that cover the bags under your eyes slowly start to lift, the misplaced eyebrow hairs get plucked away and each eyelash is perfectly curled. Everything falls perfectly into place. Which, unfortunately, is not the same case for my hair.
When I wake up I get huge awkward uneven waves throughout my hair. I guess my hair is kind of like my life, it’s awkward, takes time to prepare and simply one big mess. My hair is long and a chestnut color that slowly gets lighter as it goes down. My go to hairstyle is a braid. Any kind, Waterfall, Dutch, fishtail, I’ll try any braid at least once. My ultimate favorite is the French. You can wear it so many ways. Today I’m feeling a loose side french braid. I like it because it’s one of the few things that are supposed to look like a mess. Anyway, almost done just one more strand and… Complete! 5 minutes left to spare. This has to be a new record!
Every day I have to complete a checklist before I head out the door. I always seem to forget one thing no matter how careful I am. Shoes? Check. Teeth brushed? Check. Wallet and keys? Check. Perfect! I grab my  briefcase to make it seem like I’m important, but really all it usually holds is my wallet and keys. Sometimes I feel as though I’m not as good as everyone else in the office and am incapable of getting a job here. On the outside one would never know that. I dress professionally and confidently to show people I care and want to continue in this profession and hide the fact that I’m insecure. Without fashion I would truly be a nobody. It's the one thing I’m actually good at and can understand, hence why I can transform myself into a smart confident adult. Fashion to me is like a costume; you can become who or whatever you want.
I head out the door, lock my apartment and walk down Crown street and take a right on Kingston ave. I walk down until I get to the corner of Kingston and Throop right were my subway is. I check my watch and I see that I have exactly one hour to get to work. Okay now just walk down the tunnel and- No way! You have got to be kidding me. The one day I’ll be on time and the subway is closed!
“This is ridiculous!” I shout as the people walking by give me strange glares. No matter what I do, I cannot catch a break!
Okay think Ryan, Cosmopolitan is located at the Hearst corporation in Midtown Manhattan and right now I’m in Brooklyn. Well the C train is not an option at this point, but the A train on Nostrand Ave can take me right into Midtown but it's three blocks away and it leaves in five minutes. Well Ryan, today was the wrong day to wear pumps. I rip off my shoes and begin running. At this point I’m not ashamed at what people think. Are people giving me dirty looks? Yes. But do I really care? No, because my future at Cosmo means so much to me. I've worked my butt off to get where I am now, not just in pilates but in school to. All the parties and boys I missed out on to stay home and study were well worth it because this is the moment I’ve worked towards. Three minutes till departure but I don’t sweat it because the tunnel is right around this last corn- Smack
“Ouch!” I cry out as I rub my throbbing head
“Oh man. Are you okay? I am so sorry I didn't see you.” says a twenty something year old man as we lock eyes. He has gorgeous deep green eyes like pines on an evergreen. His hair is a light brown that is perfectly gelled over to one side whereas the other is slightly shaved. His hair continued on his jaw line creating a chin strap as sharp as a brand new razor. He smiles at me and it's contagious. I can't help but smile back. His teeth are as white as pearls.  that  grins as he extends his hand out to me.
“Yeah I’m fine! Sorry! My fault. I’d love to stay and chat but gotta run!” I say as I accept his gorgeous muscular hand up.
With one quick movement my briefcase swung open, releasing the project I slaved over all week on the disgusting sidewalk. I grab all the papers and head toward the tunnel. I swipe my card, and speed through the turnstile and rush down the two flights of stairs to reach the platform. I might have just accidentally knocked down this sweet old man, but no one saw it so it didn't happen. I make it right as the train pulls up to the platform.  I find a spot and I sink down into my seat.  That is until the old man I pushed walks on and I give up my seat for him.
“No hard feelings?” I say with a guilty smile but all I get is a weak, annoyed grunt in return. At least I deserve it. Only 8:05, still plenty of time to get to work. I finally start to relax and begin to prepare myself for all the vigours tasks at work today, making copies, coffee and lunch runs but most excitedly my very first Cosmopolitan presentation! I finally got to do a fashion article. I went around the city and took pictures of the people I saw to show what the latest trends in fashion are. This assignment is something you have to give in order to be able to use them as a reference after the internship. If you’re lucky, some even get hired so it's extremely important I do well. I just really hope they like it. For once I worked really hard on something and actually got it completed on time. I just hope I can get through this without a panic attack.
I’ve always hated talking in front of people. It’s so nerve wracking because all the pressure is on you. This presentation could make or break my career. Getting hired at Cosmopolitan would be a dream come true, but getting fired would insure I never get a job in the fashion industry again. My biggest problem is that I over think too much. I think about every little thing that could possibly go wrong when really I should be confident in what I have, but that never works out well for me.
Okay Ryan let's not sike yourself out you're going to do great and then they’ll hire you! It’s as simple as that! No it’s not. What if they don't like the presentation topic? Or the people I chose? Oh my god! What if they fire me right on the spot in front of all those people? Okay, okay I need to relax I can do this. You’ve gotten through much worse. It’s no big deal, I’ll just stress about it later when it gets closer to the time I have to present.
Ding ding ding. The doors slide open and finally it’s my turn to get off. I step onto the platform, take a deep breath, and try to relax. I head up the stairs and up into wonderful Midtown Manhattan. From this subway station my job is five blocks away. I have 10 minutes. I walk passed the beautiful Rockefeller Center and of course watch all the different people take pictures, pose and just stare in awe. Even when you live in New York City and see the famous sights every day, you don't get tired of them. You just see them with a different point of view. Instead of looking at the actual buildings or statues, you look at the people. It’s amazing to see what wonder and curiosity these old sites create. Maybe if I get a job here it’ll be my first official article!. I majored in photography at New Paltz with a minor in journalism.  I’m not a huge writer, I prefer to take pictures so I can give the articles life. But honestly, I’ll take any job at Cosmopolitan, as long as it pays. New Paltz was such a short trip to NYC that I had to go down and explore the city every other weekend.  Ever since I was younger I knew I wanted to live in New York but the cost of living is a huge strain on my budget. Having a gap in my career could force me to move back home with my parents; aka every twenty year old's nightmare.
The building I work in is kind of hard to miss. It’s big, tall and has an odd design to it. It’s a glass building, but all the windows are shaped like diamonds. It's so cool that I get to work in such a famous building that holds so many famous magazines. Everytime I walk through the revolving door, I feel like a kid again. I get filled with a great sense of adventure and excitement. You never know what could be in store for you that day.
“Hey Patty! I love that scarf!” I say eagerly
“Thanks Ryan! How was your weekend? Do anything fun? Meet a new man?” Patty says. She is the sweetest thing you will ever meet. She always has a smile on her face. Our CEO at Cosmo wants to fire her because they think seeing an older lady right as you walk in is bad for business. But no one would ever let that happen. She's been the face of Hearst Corporation since she was twenty! Now she's sixty four but still looks as good as ever. She inspires me to work hard to obtain my dream job, one that I’ll never want to leave. “Not yet Patty. Still looking.” I wish that was true. After work on friday I had drinks with Alex and Olive. Saturday, I went to the gym, napped when I got home then worked the rest of the day on my presentation. Sunday I binge watched project runway by myself until Olive showed up at 6pm with pizza, breadsticks and ice cream and joined me on my couch.
I make my way up to the Sixteenth floor as I say hi to all the friendly faces I pass. I get to my desk, toss my stuff there but know not to  get too comfortable because at any moment-
“Ryan! Hey! You look lovely today. I’m glad youre here I need a huge favor! Can you go grab me and Maggie some coffee?” My boss says to me.
“Of course Mr. Taylor! I’ll get on that right away”
“Please, call me Jase.” He says “Treat yourself to something too and just put it on the card”
“Will do Mr. Tay- I mean Jase. Be back soon!”
As I'm on my way out, I see Alex.  I met him a few weeks into my internship. I was standing at the copier when he ran up to me and said “Oh my god. Can you believe what she has on? A plaid skirt with a striped sweater! What was she thinking?” For the next 20 minutes Alex and I discussed the biggest crimes in fashion history. We bonded instantly through our love for fashion and our sarcastic attitudes. Three months later he still runs to find me when someone commits a fashion emergency. He has sandy blond hair and big black rimmed glasses which he calls his "signature look". He’s wearing a gray collared shirt with a baby blue sweater pulled over that makes his big blue eyes pop
“What’s up Ryan?”
“Nothing much just going on a coffee run. Want anything?”
“Yeah that’d be great, I’ll have a venti soy macchiato, cream no sugar with extra foam and a pump of vanilla.”
“Could that be more complicated Alex?”
“Of course dear!” He says with his sassy voice. “By the way, how is your presentation coming along?”
“So good! I feel confident. I really hope it goes well I worked so hard on it”
“I’m sure it’s going to go great. Can I see it?”
“Of course!” I say as I open my briefcase to get out my presentation. I reorganize all the papers. I have all of them but my overview. Where is it? I had it this morning. Oh no. This can’t be happening.
“Are you okay?” Alex has with a concerned look on his face.
“No! Alex I can’t find my overview!”
“Where could it be?”
“On the filthy streets of this crazy city, that's where!” I shout as Alex looks at me dazed and completely unsure of what I am referring to.
“Alex, I lost it in Brooklyn!”
“Oh. well Ryan, you’re screwed” He says with a sigh.
“Thanks for the support Alex… You always know just what to say” I tell him sarcastically.
I grab my stuff and run out the door. I head down the elevator to the lobby and to my surprise, I encounter a familiar face.