Light | Teen Ink

Light

January 11, 2017
By Eshty BRONZE, Chittagong, Washington
Eshty BRONZE, Chittagong, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
To see the world in the grain of a sand and heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in the palm of the hand and eternity in an hour. - Stephen Marshak


"It's like a Tunnel", he said. "I am running in a dark tunnel. You know, like the ones where train runs. And there's this light at the end, I dont know if that's the end of the tunnel or if it's just a light. All I know is that I have to reach it. I have to go there. But the funny thing is I can't" . He said laughing and crying at the same time.
It's been 4years. He doesn't remember anything before that 4years. "It's really weird, I have these images but I don't feel anything or know anything of that time". It's weird. That's what he says everytime when someone asks him "What happened?". Yeah it is weird. How do you kill someone without killing them? He is dead. I saw him die long time ago. Everyone did. But no one knows that he is dead. But he knows. He has that realization. He says again "It's weird".
It was another winter morning. The alarm went off. He sleeps deep. "I dont want to wake up. Let me sleep. It's so peaceful here. You'd like it too you know. Nothing will bother you. You can dream you are alive among everyone. It's wonderful. Please let me be like this. I dont want to go back" That's what he tells me everytime I try to wake him up. Poor thing he is. I pity him. He wakes up. Sees me. Sees his parents and siblings. He cries to himself. I knew he cried every morning after seeing them. I wasn't brave enough to ask why. So I let it be. He has a very weak heart. He was caring, loved everyone. But he didn't know how to show it. Mostly because he couldn't talk like everyone does. He could only talk to me. And I was the only one who ever listened. I pity him. Poor thing.
Then college. He didn't have a car or fancy bike to show off. He used to take the bus. He didn't have anything fancy to wear. Just plain uniform. He didn't even look that good. Just an average boy. But he had something no one else does. Something very precious. At college he really didn't matter that much. Avoided by his so called friends. I knew he didn't matter to them but that stupid a** doesn't realize that. And I also keep quiet about that. He will not be able to take this. Teachers too doesn't care. Makes me question the role of such so called teachers. Reminds me of the time when they stole something of his to give that to another student saying he didn't deserve that. It was his. He worked for it. And they just took it. He kept quiet. Smiling. His parents taught him "Whatever your teachers do, is for your own good." So he kept smiling. He wasn't that good at his studies as well. Academics didn't bother him. He was peculiar. He used to tell me. "This universe has so much to give. Why Keep ourselves locked up to just these books?" That overwhelmed me. Idiot. He still doesn't realize this fantasy he chases will not ever be valued by anyone. Well he was never valued anyway. So I kept quiet. Again.
It was break time. He went out of the class. Roaming here and there. And it happened. He saw a light. It was bright. Bluish. I saw it too. Beautiful. I believe that's the term. Beautiful. And He started chasing it. Poor thing. I pity him.
That light was ruthless like the moon. Because it takes away the sun's light and shines that light down to vanquish the darkness. He was that darkness. It was cruel. Like the cruel winter breeze it swept over him making him aware that he existed. It was cold. Because it froze his heart. Making it so vulnerable it could break with a clink. And he kept chasing it. Making himself obsessed with it. I watched. Keeping quiet. He didn't know what was coming. Poor thing. I pity him.
I asked him "Why do you have to reach that light at the end? " He answered " I dont know. That is all I see in this darkness. I can hear a train. But it's not far. Besides that All i see is that light. It's almost like that blue light.The light which taught me to live. And I dont know if it's that same light but I have to reach it." It was that same light. He just didn't know. He knows and I know he can't ever reach that light. " I know". He said. I just stared at him. "Know what?" "That I am not alive, that I cant reach that light ever again. But you don't understand. I have to go there. Just to find out. Because It's all I know of being alive. It's the only evidence that I exist. I am running all the time. I lose my breath twist my ankle still I run. Because I know if I dont it will go away further. So I cant stop. I just want to keep chasing it until that train runs me over and it's all over. And you dont have to worry about me." He smiled. " It will all be over very soon. The train is near. I just want to glimpse at her one last time." Poor thing. I pity him.
I didn't wake him up the next morning. I will not wake him up ever. I want him to keep chasing that light. I can feel his hopelessness, his desperation, his immense love for that light. So I wont wake him up. I left.

He left. He washed his face in the sink and looked at the
mirror. He stood still in shock. Why did he look like him?

The next morning news came. A teenager swallowed a dozen pills and died. Next to his body was a painting. A tunnel with a blue light at the end.


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