"How long am i going to do this for?",i ask myself, while driving down a busy highway,breathing, trying to get away, but from what?Im not even sure yet.

It was all a blur, Mum,Dad, Micheal, they were talking then all of a sudden, SNAP! It happened.What happened?Who's to know..

All thats going through my head is, "Should i go back?", i cant decide, my mind, its riddles with emotions, love,hate, but more than anything, confusion.

Its getting late now, i watch the clock as it speeds on, 10,11,12,1 its getting later and later and getting earlier and earlier at the same time....I go off into the backstreets, still unsure of where im going, all to get away.

"problems of today, teenagers out, at this time, doing what they do..."What am i saying?Ha, *sigh*, i dont care what they do, we were all young, well that young once, if anything i look at them in jealousy, to be that young, that carefree, and to not have to b driving in some place i probably have not even heard of, But then i look back on the picture in my mind of the kids, sitting on the street, young girls with older boys, drinking and god knows what else, they have got themselves in a ditch, of not knowing the consequences, not knowing what they are doing,or for how long they will be effected. Sounds kinda like me aye?..I dont know what i am doing, im running away from something im..im not sure of, and i dont know whats going to come out of it. I shake my head and think 'stuff it, i dont care, i dont care where i am, who i am leaving or what happens to me.' So i stop and buy a bottle of the strongest whiskey i can find, i think to myself, "i wanna have some fun tonight aswell, i dont want to think about them or about what they are doing, i want to think about fun, for once.

So i take a swig, jump into the car and turn up the music, "i never thought id be doing this again, at 35,"i thought to myself..*sigh*..Pfft, take another swig and start singing to the music i dont know, start dancing, in my seat to the beat iv never heard, but thats why im here after all.The bottle slowly finishes, and along with it so does the music, it seems this time of morning all they have are those silly morning time news shows talking about whatever they do.

As the music seems to stoip, there does not seem to be much more keeping me up and stopping me from..

From doing what i just did..

i fell asleep at the wheel, i crashed and yet, im still thinking?i know im not..

i cant be

nah..