Hike a Mountain
Go White Water Rafting
See the Northern Lights

Many don’t get to do their “Do before you die” Bucket List at 17 years old, but when you know you have less than a year left to live, God makes an exception. I have hemophilia, which basically makes me bleed like you’re on your period constantly, but I’ve learned to live with it. Believe me, it hasn’t been easy, but I have managed to live a life almost as normal as others. But with the possibility of bleeding out and dying from a tiny cut, I have come to the conclusion that my life is extremely boring; no friends, no actual schooling. As you may be able to tell, I’m quite an outsider. Who am I may you ask, I am Caroline Fisher. Just a 17 year old lady with the inability to clot my blood!
My mother says I have quite an attitude when dealing with my illness, but I just like to keep it light and not depressing. I never struggled with depression, but some kids in my support group have, but they baby their illness. Those kids also go to public schools because they are younger and their parents aren’t constantly worrying about if they are going to croak in the next 5 minutes. So I stay home, watch t.v., read, and go to support groups!
It’s very aggravating that I do absolutely nothing and I'm legitimately over it.
I wake up at 9 o’clock every morning and start reading a book, with To Kill A Mockingbird, and The Great Gatsby being my most favorites (I’m a classic type of girl). By 10:30 I’m up because my devil of a nurse comes in to wake me up and gets me into the tub. The shower has a risk of slipping and falling, so my mom doesn’t let me take one. While my nurse is bathing me, my mother yells upstairs to tell me she is about to leave for work, and that she left a note of all the things Lisa and I need to do today (Lisa, is the devil I mentioned), including running some errands, and vacuuming the living room. After the bath, I get dressed in my normal sweatshirt and athletic shorts, the most comfortable & common things I own. I then met Lisa downstairs to finally eat some food.
“Hey Lisa, I have a question for you.” I say while twiddling my thumbs thinking if I should even ask her the question up ahead.
“ Sure, only if its a smart question, or asking if you can have ice cream for breakfast because you already know that answer.” With a straight face she continues on spreading butter onto our toast.
“Did you ever have a list of things to do before you die? I’ve been thinking about it lately because, you know, I can possibly die any day, and just, I don’t..”  and then Lisa interrupts my spiel which happened to be very long and fast and stressful to someone's ears even.
“Stop. For 1, under my watch you are not dying from any disease anytime soon. And for 2, you are not doing anything your mother would find to be dangerous. You are just a child, and you shouldn’t be thinking of dark things such as death. ”
Although she normally was an overprotective butthole, She usually wouldn't be this strict. Ugh, and she wonders why I don’t like her at all, she never lets me do anything. Usually we just have normal conservations together, like what books I have read lately, and simple things. I mean, I guess even though I do hate her, I always came to her. Even when I was little, when I would get a cut, or get a bruise I would always run into Lisa’s arms instead of my mothers. She was around more, but when my mom would get home from work that day, she would run over to me terrified that I had gotten severely injured, or even died. She was overprotective of me like that. It can be annoying but I do understand. I wish she would just be there with me instead of working or worrying. Like live in the moment man.
After breakfast, I skipped back to my room, but my clumsy self tripped and fell. Lisa came to my aid, but I didn’t even have a bruise so I was fine. After a quick Dr. Lisa break, I thought about what Lisa had told me at breakfast, and sat down at my desk and pondered. What did I want to do with my remaining days left? How much of a daredevil could I be? How adventurous am I? Then it hit me. Choose the top 3 things I've always wanted to do, and do them in the next three weeks! But the big question was what did I want to do? And the bigger question to that was what would I do about my mom? I know I definitely want to go white water rafting, a girl from support group, (whose mom isn’t a complete psychopath) went once and she said she loved it, so that's definitely in there. Hiking is also another one, I love going outdoors, and also there may be cute sweaty boys. Who doesn’t love that? 
Now.
One last thing.
And that’s when I thought about this quote I heard before.
“Better to see something once than to hear about it a thousand times.” I have no clue actually said it but it's beautiful. That’s when another light bulb went off.
“THE NORTHERN LIGHTS. LISA. I NEED TO SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!” As Lisa came into my room, I started frantically packing and getting ready to finally do the things I’ve wanted to do my whole life but I was always too scared or my mother always held me back. Now I was on my way. Nobody was stopping me now.
Lisa chimed into my excited packing by saying, “Slow down there sister, you’re not going anywhere. You need to slow down and think about what you are doing, because without your mom's consent, you aren't doing nothing.” To be honest, she does have a point. Going to see the Northern Lights which is halfway across the world. I should start small, such has going on a hike, then I can make my way up, and get the consent of my mother.
“ Ok, ok. Will you at least go on a hike with me? In the wilderness, smelling the fresh air, and admiring the beautiful forests of New England.” I knew she was a sucker for the outdoors, it was the only thing I believe actually made her a normal and happy human- being.
“ Oh I don’t know, I have a lot to do today! Plus I don’t know if you should either.” I could tell Lisa was definitely wanting to say yes, but was pulling herself back and just trying to be a pain.
“What if I told you how many animals were out in the wilderness. All those cute, cute animals that just want your attention so very badly.” I say, basically begging her.
“Fine. Only if you will do your chores without any backlash at me.” She was an animal lover after all.

The outdoors is one of my favorite places to be besides reading in my bed. Smelling the air and the grass and seeing the waterfalls while we were hiking the Sleeping Giant Trail in Andover, makes you feel as though you are in another universe. The sound of the waterfall which we hiked next to makes you almost fall asleep. The scent of the flowers surrounding you mixed in with the natural syrup from the trees is surreal. If you touch the rocks we walk upon, you can feel the presence of the living creatures who have walked there before you, but please don't taste the berries, those can ruin the experience.
And then there it was. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. A huge waterfall which had flowers and types of plants all over it looking like a magical garden. It was incredible, even Lisa couldn’t stop staring, and I couldn’t either.
On our way down to the mountain, we were definitely more talkative because we had taken everything in, and now Lisa actually seemed to be enjoying herself. I’d never talked to Lisa like I have been that whole day, but I moderately enjoy her company during the whole day trip. Once we were in the car, and had gotten something in our bellies from a little snack shack at the bottom of the hike, we were quiet once again. Maybe it was because we were tired, or bored with eachother, or she was stressed if my mother found out where we went and the “dangerous” properties of hiking.
When we got home, our biggest fear had come to life.
My mom was home.
Walking into my house, preparing for a yelling or Lisa to get fired, we were pleasantly surprised to see that mom was just sitting there calmly doing bills.
“Hey mom, whats up...”
She turned around quickly, as though she was startled by us coming in, “Oh hi, where were you guys? I was starting to get a little worried.”
“We were just on a walk, but we are fine.” I stutter out quickly, frightened she would implode us with questions.
“Great! You need to get out more anyways. I hope you had fun honey, I have to go to bed early, so have a great night. Thank You Lisa, you can go home now.” Lisa walked out very quickly, muttering a quiet goodbye.
I was appalled she was actually fine not knowing where I was, maybe she was starting to be less protective, and realizing that I am starting to turn into an adult. All I care about is that I was able to complete my first bucket list item. Tame a mountain.
Hike a Mountain

Most people don’t even know what Hemophilia is. It is a medical which your blood doesn't clot like it should. It makes you bleed excessively whenever you have a minor injury. It can also cause easy bruising which is why I have to be careful with whatever I do so I don’t bleed out, or have internal bruising.
“Caroline! Come down here! Now!!!”
Listening to Lisa’s voice made me cringe inside knowing that I had to go see her. Last night we had gotten in an argument over what to watch on the t.v, resulting in me going upstairs to my room because I didn’t want to watch her stupid Doctor Phil shows. I got downstairs and walked into the kitchen, grabbed an apple juice, and went out to the car where Lisa wouldn’t stop honking her horn the entire time.
“You know I heard you 5 minutes ago when you originally called me down, I was just grabbing an apple juice.” I say it with a snarky attitude, just to get my point across that I’m in a bad mood.
She was silent, but had a slight grin on her face.
I figured we were going to the store to get food, but then we drove past it. Maybe we were going to the car wash because I love to look at pretty soaps swim across the window, but we drove past that as well.
“Hey Lisa, where are we going?” I was starting to get a tad anxious, did I need to go to the hospital and she didn’t want to tell me?
“You’ll see, I promise you it’s a good thing.”
“You’re acting so weird, whatever”, and as I put on my headphones blasting music, I was secretly happy and relieved to have a fun surprise in front of me.

When I woke up from the car ride which seemed to have flown by once I passed out, we had finally arrived to somewhere.
“Why are we at a campground?” I was honestly questioning why would Lisa bring me to a campground, especially without my mom.
“Well your mother found out about the whole situation with your bucket list and thought it was a great idea. So, she said since she was working all night tonight, why don’t I take you to do the second thing on your list, white water rafting.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I was so excited that my mom and Lisa actually took me somewhere to have fun without me even asking.
“Oh my god, I love you guys!” Lisa was definitely caught off guard by me being so generous and happy.
She replied with a nod, “Ok now, you need a good night's rest for tomorrow morning, so get into the cabin and brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
“Ok, I’ll be in bed reading though…” and I ran away before she could even reply.

“LEFT”
“TO THE RIGHT”
“PULL BACK”
Our guide was very verbal and projected his voice quite a lot because of how rough the rapids were. The ride was smooth throughout the journey, but got harder the more we progressed through the river. Lisa also seemed to have fun, but not as much as me. Because of how I’ve never done anything thrilling before, doing something dangerous like this was just what I needed. Although I did have to get checked out by Dr. Lisa once again, it was 100% worth it, and if I do live to see another day, I will never forget this moment.
2. Go White Water Rafting

When I was younger I was obsessed with this t.v. show called Grey’s Anatomy, I was a big fan of it because it was dramatic and also had actual medical things built into it. Since I have always had a “connection” with hospitals, I thought that it was very interesting. Once I got older and actually paid attention to the ongoings of a hospital I realized how things aren’t always dramatic and funny in a hospital, most of the time it’s just sad. People are dying left and right from diseases people can’t cure, and sometimes they don’t even know why or how these people died. It’s all a game, and you just end up with cards that are handed to you by god.
On Thursday morning, April 22nd, I woke up to something I never saw coming. Lisa came into my room with her suitcase and mine from the basement and woke me up by yelling, “Lets go lets go, we’ve got a plane ride to catch.” This caught my attention.
“A plane ride, what do you mean a plane ride? Where are we going?” I say, questioning whether or not this is a dream. 
“We are going to see the Northern Lights, as your final thing on your bucketlist. Now lets get up and get you packed so we can finally leave.” And with that, we were up and out of the house in 20 minutes, record breaking time I would say.

The plane ride from New England, to Alaska, was a whopping 12 hours! I mean I slept most of it, but for the 2 hours I was up, it felt like forever. Once we landed and got off the plane we got a taxi and drove another 4 hours to get to a tiny lodge in the middle of no where so we could avoid the light pollution around in the near cities which could dull the experiance for us. That night, we finally saw it. The thing we had been waiting for.
“Lisa, look, that’s it. That’s the end to my bucket list.” As we stared at the blues that merged with the greens and the browns that combined with the pinks, I felt complete. This was how I wanted to die, and I think my body knew it as well because all of a sudden everything went black, and only the people outside my body while I was in a coma for the whole bucket list  experiance knew what was going on, that my heart had just stopped beating all because of a trip on the stairs 3 weeks ago.