The bell rings and I watch him walk to class. I find it intriguing how his long legs stride across the dirty tile floor. Most people wouldn’t notice him, they say he blends into the crowd, but I notice him. I see him everyday as I head from AP bio to homeroom. I dream that one day he will notice me the way that I notice him but deep down I know, that will never be my reality.

After realizing that the hallway is now completely empty and that the second bell just rang, I walk through the door that leads to my homeroom class. I make my way across the room trying to be as invisible as possible. The less people that notice me, the better. The teacher begins to take attendance and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Jess sitting at the desk behind me. She smiles, I can still see her lunch trapped in the gaps of her teeth. How did I not notice this? Jess, my best friend since preschool, was in my homeroom class. Since when? She hands me a note that reads ... “Hey loser, I convinced my dad to switch my homeroom class. Watch what happens next!” I look up from the scribbly letters on the paper with confusion written all over my face. What is she talking about? And that is when I hear Ms. Alecandro scream at the top of her lungs. The whole class runs out the door as she pulls a rat out of her desk drawer. This has Jess written all over it.

We all cram into the hallway as the custodians clear out the special surprise that Jess left Ms. Alecandro. You can see the anger in her eyes and I know that Principal King will be hearing about this for sure. Those five minutes that were spent in the hallway were filled with laughter and drama. I listen to a multitude of conversations, none of them as interesting as the conversations that I have with Jess, but nonetheless they kept me busy. Jess was already headed to the main office, I mean after all, she does have a reputation for these kinds of things.

A few minutes later we all file back in through the door and you can see Ms. Alecandro physically trying to slow her breathing. Once she calms herself down she gives us the same assignment that we always get from her and spend the rest of the class working on that. By the time the bell rings Jess still isn’t back from the main office however I wasn’t worried. All I wanted to do was make it to the library as quick as possible so that I could claim my spot at the table in the back corner. The library makes me feel at peace with the world and with myself, a feeling I don’t get to feel very often at all. Then I hear my phone buzz and that feeling is over, my mom is calling.

I let the phone ring a few more times in order to mentally prepare myself for the conversation that is about to happen. Everytime I let the phone buzz before picking it up I can picture my mom's big brown eyes bulging out of her head as she waits for me to answer her call. I finally pick up the phone on the last ring, dreading what comes next. 

“YOU BETTER BE ON YOUR WAY HOME YOUNG LADY BECAUSE YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD WATCH YOUR BROTHER AND IF YOU ARE NOT HOME IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES YOU WILL BE GROUNDED FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS.”

I definitely forgot I told her I would do that. Out of panic I come up with an answer on the fly ...

“Don’t worry mom, I am on my way home now, I just left the library”

She hangs up and I know I need to get moving. What am I going to do? It takes at least 10 minutes to get home and that is if I run and I do not run. In the midst of all of my panic I completely miss that Jess has both sat down at my table and thrown a bag of chips at me. It takes her slapping me on the face to get me to even notice that she is there. I grab my bag and her arm and pull her out of the library to the school parking lot. After all, my car is the shop and I need her to drive me home.I explain the whole situation to her on the way to the car and Jess speeds all the way home. She barely even gives me time to buckle my seatbelt before she flies through the parking lot, but thank the lord because Jess just saved my pretty much non-existent social life.

I make it through the door just in time for my parents to make it to their event on time. You can see the frustration in my parents eyes but they really don’t have anything to be mad about. I was on time, wasn’t I? They give me one stern look, shake their heads and make their way to the door handing me my two year old brother, Henry, on their way out. What a perfect way to be welcomed home by your family. 

After a few excruciatingly long hours I finally get Henry to sleep and it was in perfect time because Jess is calling me. I immediately pick up the phone and tell her all about the absolutely horrific night I have had. When I am finished Jess responds with her typical,

“Well, I guess you're just gonna have to spend more time over here”

We both laugh. Jess may not always be the most empathetic person but she always listens to me which is more than I can say for my parents. 

I hang up the phone and hear the front door creak open, my parents are home. I make my way up to the cold wooden stairs in order to get to my room before my parents see me. I slowly close the door. I immediately collapse onto my bed, exhausted from putting on different masks throughout the day, pretending to be someone I’m not.

I wake up the next morning absolutely exhausted. I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, wondering what the next day may hold. Will I see him? Will he see me? I wish I had the courage to go talk to him but instead I just watch him glide across the school tile past the lockers. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. Why doesn’t he notice me? Is there something wrong with me? 

My self-deprecating thoughts are interrupted when my phone begins to ring. I slide out from underneath my covers to go and grab my phone. I am not really in the mood to talk to anyone so I move as slow as humanly possible, eventually missing the call. When the phone stops ringing a rush of relief slides off my shoulders. I go to pick up my phone and see that I missed a call from Jess. I should have just picked up the phone. Seconds later a notification pops up, Jess left a voicemail. Confused, I listen to the message knowing that whatever she was calling about was urgent, she never leaves a message. 

“Grace I need your help, I messed up big time and I don’t know how to fix it. You know how to fix everything so I need you to help me. Call me back as soon as you listen to this.”

I knew I should have just picked up the phone. How selfish of me. How could I let my best friend down? I throw on some clothes and sit down to do my makeup as I call Jess back. I am in the middle of blending my foundation when I hear Jess crying on the other end of the phone. 

“Jess are you ok?”

She doesn’t respond.

“Jess please talk to me”

There is a long pause before I hear her say anything. I hear her cries soften.

“Grace, I really messed up and I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m on my way”

This is bad. Jess never lets anything get to her and she seems distraught. I quickly grab my school bag and run downstairs grabbing a protein bar before I rush out the front door. My parents had already left for work and dropped Henry off at daycare so I hop in my car and make my way to the King residence. 

I turn the radio on to try and take my mind off what might be going on with Jess. I have never seen her so upset. For as long as I have known her she has always been the toughest person I know she never lets anyone or anything get to her. In fact, the more I think about it,, this is the first time I have ever even heard Jess cry. I on the other hand typically cry on a daily basis and Jess has always been there for me no matter what she has going on.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and yes, Jess and I are polar opposites but we do have one thing in common, nobody else has ever bothered to talk to us. My parents remind me of that every single day.

 “Just go talk to people” 

“Jess isn’t a good influence on you”

I swear I hear those two phrases ten times a day. They just don’t understand me, but Jess does. In all honesty Jess and her family make me feel more at home than my parents ever have. 

You see, Principal King is Jess’s dad and considering that I have maintained a 4.0 GPA since kindergarten, we definitely get along. Most of the time he is more of a father figure in my life than my own dad is. His wife, Adrianne has been there for me since the first time I ran away from home, second grade to be exact. My parents like Mr. and Mrs. King which makes it easier for me to persuade them to let me spend time over there. Without the Kings I don’t know where I would be now, but I can tell you one thing, I definitely would not be the person that I am today.

I pull up to Jess’s house, immediately turn the car off and run to the front door. Before I even have time to knock the door opens and Jess is standing there, mascara running down her cheeks. I take one look at her and know this must not be good. She collapses into my arms and immediately starts sobbing. We have to get to school otherwise Mr. King will not be happy with either of us but Jess is in no position to go anywhere. 

Conflicted, I close the front door behind me and we make our way upstairs. We have an hour until the first bell rings so I sit her down and begin wiping the mascara off her cheeks. She shivers as I touch the cold, wet makeup wipe to her cheek. I can tell she is trying to stop crying but it's not working. I finish wiping her face and go over to her closet to grab her typical stained t-shirt, sweatpants and her pay of white high top converses. I make my way over to her bed to find her laying on her side, her hair flopped in front of her face. Curled up in a little ball, she finally says something.

“Grace I don’t know what to do”

“I’m sure whatever is going on is not nearly as bad as you think it is.”

“You don’t know that though”

“Then just tell me. You know I will always be here for you.”

“I just found out that I am adopted.”

Oh no, this is really bad. In second grade Jess decided that the only thing she will ever let get to her is abandonment. Ever since that day she has lived out that philosophy and eventually she developed a very real fear of abandonment. Her parents never knew about this fear seeing as I was the only person Jess told. 

Jess would kill me if she found out what I was about to do but at this point it is the only option. I make my way to the bathroom and begin dialing her dad’s phone number. I can’t miss anymore school or my parents would bring about even more stress in my life and if Jess misses one more day of school there is no way she is going to graduate on time. Mr. King picks up the phone in his usual perky tone.

“Hello, this is principal King, what can I do for you today?”

“Hi Mr.King, this is Grace West. I really need to talk to you about something but it needs to be brief”

I am guessing that he heard the tension in my voice seeing as his normal perky tone vanished within a second.

“What’s wrong? Is Jess ok?”

“I don’t know how to say this but I think Jess really needs your help. I don’t know how or why she figured this out but she knows that she is adopted and I have never seen her like this before. I know that if she misses another day of school she won’t graduate and I can’t miss school but we need to do something because Jess is in no place to ...”

He cuts me off.

“Grace calm down, everything will be fine. If you can get her to the school, we will figure this all out. Come meet me in my office when you get here and I will take care of everything.”

He hangs up the phone and relief floods my soul. I make my way out of the bathroom and Jess got dressed (that’s a step in the right direction). I apply some waterproof mascara to her frail eyelashes knowing that she would kill me if I let her leave the house without any makeup on to cover her non-existent flaws. She grabs her book bag and we both head downstairs. I grab a yogurt from the fridge and a plastic spoon, hand it to Jess and make her eat it. I know she isn’t gonna eat anything unless someone makes her. We walk outside and make our way to the car. As insert the key into the ignition and switch the radio station to rock and she rests her head on the window. I drive to school and neither of us say anything. I want to respect her space but I feel like she needs to talk through this. Holding all of this in can’t be healthy for her. 

Before I know it, we are at the school and Jess and I drudge into the building right before the bell rings. We have always had our first period class together but Jess still doesn’t know how to get anywhere in the school considering that she hardly ever comes to class. Jess, completely unaware, follows me to her Dad’s office, her face still swollen from crying. I open the old, wooden, creaky door and we make our way into her Dad’s office.

As we walk in Mr. King looks up from his desk and switches his gaze to Jess. Jess looks up from the floor and stares straight into her dad’s eyes. I feel like this is the moment that I should leave, however, Mr. King tells us both to take a seat. There is a weird awkward silence that feels as though it has been going on for ours but the silence is broken when our guidance counselor makes her way into the room. I see the anger gloss over Jess’s eyes. This is not good at all. 

Mr. King begins to explain that he has excused from first period and will work everything out with Jess’s attendance, no need to worry about that. Mr. King takes Jess into the other room while I am left in his office with Ms. Holden. I have seen Ms. Holden on many occasions considering how screwed up my life is so there is no need for introductions. 

“Grace, I know this is hard and this shouldn’t be your burden to bear. You can always come to me with anything but right now I need to ask you some questions and I need you to answer with complete honesty.”

As cheesy as she is, after everything she has done for me I know that I can trust her. She really does know what she is doing. 

“I can try but I really don’t know that much. She didn’t really want to talk.”

“That’s ok sweetie, you just have to try”

I hate it when she calls me sweetie. 

“So, how did you end up at Jess’s house”

I tell her all about this morning's happenings in great detail. I tell her everything I know and everything that Jess said to me. Although it is not much information, I know that anything I can give her will help. 

The bell rings and Ms. Holden walks me to class. I want to give Jess a hug before I leave but she is gone. We make it about five steps out of the office before Ms. Holden gets caught up with something else so as usual, I walk myself to class. I’m so caught up in everything that has happened over the past few hours that I am not really paying attention to anything going on around me. I pull out my phone to send Jess a text but before I can even click on her name I am slammed into an open locker door and that is the last thing that I remember.