The King and I (short story) | Teen Ink

The King and I (short story)

November 27, 2009
By Skullina BRONZE, Manukau, Other
Skullina BRONZE, Manukau, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I never thought I would feel this way for him Even tough I hated him for his narcissism but now I understand what he really is.
As I lean at his shoulders looking at his face. His handsome pricey like face. Blue eyes and Black hair. It's like an angel. I love the way he brushes his fingers to my face. Looking at him gives me chills.
I was wrong the whole time. We lay under the tree, watching the sunset. There we kissed passionatly. Together in our world.

The author's comments:
This is my first work..... I hope you like it. But can you please leave a comment about my writing. For me to improve my writing skills.

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This article has 1 comment.


mhafner said...
on Oct. 10 2011 at 8:25 pm
Your ideas are very clear, and powerful, but using metaphors and similes would improve your writing. For example, he's blue eyes and black hair is like an angel. As a reader I can feel the emotion behind the words and that is always a sign of an excellent writer