tell everyone that I am over it. I think it is. I wish it was. But why are you still here? Can you give me the answer? I have burned your pictures to ashes and swept your memories under the rug. I turn the songs on the radio and your appearance has faded away. But why are you still here. I thought for a while you might be serving a purpose. Maybe I was sent to you to be your saving grace or were you sent to me to show me what loving unconditionally really meant. I wonder sometimes where you at, and what you’re doing, even what you’re thinking about. It is then I wonder why are you still here? I do not want you here. You have made your mark. Now pack your things and leave.
I have asked you nicely to go. I have pleaded for you to leave. I have cried and literally gotten down on my knees. But you’re still here. Lurking around the corner on a lonely night, standing between me and the door each time I brave the outside world, I do not understand why you have not left yet. I can no longer help you now. I serve no purpose for you. I cannot give you guidance or compassion. I gave you love but you have taken that away. I wish I knew your reason for staying. I wish I knew why your still here.
Everywhere I go you are there with me. I feel you in my tears. I smell you when the wind blows. I see you in a stranger’s face. I taste you when I murmur the simple words “I love you”. You have consumed my being. I even find you in my own writing. Why are you still here? It is hard living with you, I hope you know. I hide my pain most days. I hide you deep within my soul. I want to do as they say, you know. Lock you up and throw away the key. But the irony is that you keep getting out. You keep coming back and wanting more but I have nothing left to give. I wish I knew why you are still here. I sit here writing, letting my soul show to the world and I feel you. It is almost like a hovering presence. Please leave. The longer you stay the worse I feel. Though I do want you badly to leave I cannot help but to long for your touch.
I continue to ask why you will not leave but I would also like to know why you came into my safe harbor in the first place? I was safe here, behind my walls. No one has ever boulder through and nestled in my heart like you have. Why won’t you just leave? I am broken now you see. I cannot put my walls back up because then you will stick in my heart forever but with my walls down I hurt every day. Why will you not just leave?
Leave already I beg of you. I feel you at times beginning to pack your things and I begin to feel better and free of your burdens. Though it’s like you feel me breathe that sigh of relief and you drop your bags and linger for a while longer. LEAVE! JUST LEAVE! GET OUT! SPARE ME PLEASE! I AM SCREAMING BUT YOU DO NOT EVEN AKNOWLEDGE MY BITTER VOICE!..PLEASE I DO NOT WANT YOU HERE!.....At last I feel you beginning to move out little by little my tears fade and my screams subside. I realize you are leaving. At last a part of me thinks. At last. …..As you reach for the door, bags in hand, ready to walk out of my life for good…”Don’t Go.” I whisper. I still need you here.