I guess I should start at the very begging, the very best place to start. As I recall it was the first day of third grade. Yes, I remember letting go of my mother’s hand and bravely marching into the new classroom. The teacher, a sweet old lady still full of spirit, greeted me, gave me my shiny new red folder, and seated me down at table number two. I smiled and greeted a few old friends, and then sat in my seat shyly, playing with my long golden braids. Suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was. Two curious brown eyes immediately greeted mine as I stared into the face of a new boy.
“Hi!” he said shyly.
I smiled at him and said “hi” back.
When recess came around, I quickly shoved my folder into my desk and joined the line forming near the door. Again, I felt a tap on my shoulder, but this time, I was ready. He smiled at me and said “do you want to play?”
“Sure,” I responded, and noticed that the other girls in my class all enviously watched us go.
We played together every single recess for the first few months. I learned that has name was Cole. I didn’t know much else about him, but I didn’t need to. We hung on the monkey bars, hid under the play structure, and ran from the scary fourth graders. In class, we would look at each other and giggle happily over nothing in particular. I would find myself sitting restlessly, waiting for recess to come so I could once again see the sun shine in his brown hair, see his eyes sparkle, and get lost in our make believe land.
One day however, he stood in the recess line with another boy. I wanted to go over to him and ask him “do you want to play?” like he had asked me the first time. But I didn’t. Things might have been different if I had, but I’ll never know. Instead, I went to find my old friends.
We didn’t play together anymore. But I would still watch him sometimes from the top of the hill, and I knew he watched me. I remember smiling at him once, and he smiled back. I wanted so badly to go back to the way things used to be, but I knew we couldn’t even if we tried.