23. DYING





I was in the woods and I saw a figure standing by the river. Butterflies filled my stomach as I realized it was Eric. “Eric!” I shouted and ran toward him; I was ready for him to embrace me in his warm arms. When he turned around it was not Eric that I saw, it was the face of John! I instantly froze in shock, I then saw that he held a gun in his hand, but the worst part was that the gun was pointed at me! I turned and ran in the other direction as fast as I could, trying to get away from John. I ran faster hearing John’s heavy footsteps right behind me and tripped over a tree root; I fell flat on my face. I flipped over on my back to see John standing over me with an evil grin. Tears streaked my down my face and I felt the gun being pressed to my forehead. I closed my eyes right before I heard John pull the trigger. I sat up like a shot in my bed screaming bloody murder. Eric was soon beside me in the bed and the look I saw in his eyes was pure fear. He pulled me toward him and I grabbed onto him ferociously. I had stopped screaming but now tears were running fast down my cheeks. I was gripping Eric’s t-shirt until my knuckles turned white and I was shaking uncontrollably. “Sky? What happened?” Eric pleaded me to tell him but I just couldn’t, not now anyways. If I tried to open my mouth I would sob harder or maybe even scream and I didn’t trust myself to pull it together long enough to explain to Eric what the nightmare had been about. I was scared to death, fear ripped at the inside of me making my body convulse even more. I didn’t trust myself for if I opened my mouth something horrible would poor out of it and I don’t know what it would be. Even In the safety of Eric’s arms I felt vulnerable, I felt lost. My breath turned to wheezing as terror surrounded me and tears kept flowing. “Shh it’s ok, it was just a nightmare. You’re okay I’m here, your safe.” Eric said trying to calm me down, but the whole time horror was written all over his face and it tore through his eyes. He ran his hands over my hair and then he brushed his hand over my cheek wiping the tears away. I looked up into his eyes trying not to think about the terrifying nightmare. I fought against myself trying to stop crying but I was just so scared I didn’t know what to do, the dream just felt so real. I felt as if John was hiding in this very room waiting for the perfect moment to pull out his gun and pull the trigger; I felt as if nothing to shake the fear that was inside of me.
I opened my mouth to tell Eric everything about the dream, to get it out of my system. “I want to- to tell you.” I said between deep heavy breaths. Eric looked me in the eyes and said, “Okay Sky, I will stay right here.” I took a couple deep breaths steadying myself so I would not burst into sobs while I was telling Eric. I nestled closer to his chest, deeper in his embrace and I started telling him. “I was running , towards you, we were in the woods. It was beautiful but then you turned around and- and you weren’t you.” I paused knowing I was trembling in Eric’s arms and I looked up at him. He looked confused, “What do you mean by ‘It wasn’t me’?” he asked pushing me to go on and reminding me it was just a nightmare, nothing more.

“You turned around and it wasn’t you anymore, the person who turned around was… John. He had a gun, and he pointed it at me, right at my head.” I cringed before continuing, “I turned around and ran as fast as I could, but I wasn’t fast enough. I-I tripped and I fell to the ground, when I turned over to get back up John was standing over me. He took the gun pressed it to my head, and then pulled the trigger.” I said burying my face into Eric. A lump forming in my throat again, tears welling up, I clenched my teeth together trying not to let my tears fall. Trying so hard not to let Eric see me like this, but it was no use I didn’t have the strength to fight myself so I let the tears run down my face once more. “I was um, ten when my mom died.” Eric blurted, it took a little for me to process the information and once I did I looked up at him sympathetically.

“How-how did it happen?” I asked clearing my throat, and wiping the tears away, I had a feeling that this would be a rare time, when he finally tells me something about his past and I was ready to listen to finally figure out what had happened to him. He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath before continuing. “We were in the car, on our way to the beach a couple miles away. It was me and my sister in the back seat of the car, my mom in the passenger seat, my dog on her lap with his head out the window and my dad at the wheel. We were rounding a corner when we heard a gunshot, the bullet was headed toward me sitting in the passenger seat, my dad saw this and swerved just barley avoiding the bullet. The car went off of the road, the front of the car ran into a tree, the side where my mom and my dog were sitting, it killed my mom and my dog instantly. She felt no pain, and neither did my dog.” I was speechless, I had, had no idea and I felt awful for Eric and for his whole family.

“Eric, I- I had no idea, I am so so sorry.” I said placing my hand on his rough cheek and looking into his eyes trying to figure out what he was feeling. I couldn’t see anything in his eyes like he was numb, and I would’ve done anything to make him warm inside again. He has done so much for me… I thought. There has to be some way.. there’s got to be something I can do… My head was swimming and I searched my thoughts trying to remember how every touch from Eric had made me feel better, every assuring word and all I wanted to do was be able to give it all back to him in return. He shook under my arms and his body convulsed as tears quickly stained his face; I pressed my body into his and rubbed his back as I whispered into his ear, “Everything is going to be okay, I promise. Everything will work out, it’s going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Everything is going to be okay…. Everything is going to be okay…”