Pain soon consumes every inch of my body. My calves as I run faster. Sweat rolls down my forehead; I can feel it cloging my pores. The cold night air burns my lungs. I can smell the burnt rubber of my sneakers; The smell is comforting. I wish you could understand why I run...how it feels....burns.


I round the corner and can see the red brick house I now call home. I slow my pace as I make my last lap. I dread having to go inside. I want to run away from this place, just run untill I can't anymore. I try to run faster but my legs won't operate correctly. I stumble and find myself crashing into the gravel that surrounds the house. I want to be far away from the man that lives with us in this house. I wish I was wrapped tight in your arms safe from him, every and anything. You would be my shield. But where's my shield when I need him most?


The screen door slams shut followed by loud angry foot steps that make their way down the porch. The man figured out I was gone. How clever. I wonder when he'll figure out that Chris isn't here either. Or did the clever man find his bed cold and empty too?


I don't have time to question the man. I need to get up. I crawl to the fence, a thing I regret now, and pull myself up. I beg my legs to work long enough to get me to your house. No time for stretches. I could hear the man's footsteps getting closer. I started off in a sprint making my way through the woods. We both know I can out run him. The old man curses as he climbs in his pickup truck. The engine rawrs to life and the truck disappears into the night.


I push my legs farther hoping I'll see your house soon. Pine needles squash under my feet. I turn back checking to see if he's tailing me, when I know he's not. Twigs crack sending chills down my back. Every muscle in my body hurts when I see it. Your house. It's still in the distance. But I see it. I move from a jog to a full on run. Sweat drips into my view; I wipe it away with my sleeve.

I can't run anymore. It doesn't matter I'm here. I made it. I thank my legs as I climb up the steps holding on to the rail. Deep breaths, Amy. My breaths come out raspy. I knock with all the strength I have left. No one answers, I try again and ring the doorbell. Surly some one will here me. I lean against the wall. It's cold, relaxing. I wait for someone, anyone to answer the door.

Lights turn on in the family room. The locks on the door are carefully unlocked one by one. I wish you would hurry. The door opens and I see...Disappointment standing in the door. You didn't come to my rescue like you used to. Instead you sent your brain dead sidekick. Now I wish I hadn't come, and I was lying asleep in my warm bed.

Disappointment stares at me. He doesn't know how to form words, never learned. I look up at him after awhile, and ask "Is he here?" Disappointment just looks at me like I'm not there. "You know Jordan. Your brother." I say and Disappointment nods. He doesn't move or get you. I want him to. "So can I see him?" I ask. I'm going in no matter what. He shrugs and moves. I enter the house.


It looks different. The family pictures are gone, and have been replaced with earthy sayings like " You are in a green house." I hated them incase you wanted to know. Kinda cheesy.


I move on not wanting to waste anymore time. I find you sitting on a ugly brown sofa. I liked the red one better. But you don't care. "Jordan?" My voice is still rough from running. You turn and stare at me. Now come on I know I'm not the person you'd like to see in your living room in two in the morning, but you don't have to look at me like that. "Amy." You don't sound happy or sad. I guess that's a good thing.

I sit across from you on a beige stool. "What happened to your house?" Your eyes look sad. I hate it when you look like that. " My dad got remarried." The words should explain it all. By your tone of voice, body language, and eyes. "Didn't he just get remarried last fall?" I ask, remembering Georgia. "Yeah, but she wanted a divorce last Christmas. And dad doesn't stay out on the market long." You say. I nod, then ask," What's she like?" "Blond, dumb, He only dated her twice." You take a breathe," Apparently she redid the house. Bought a small rat....." You had me laughing at the he only dated her twice part. "You're making this up, right?" I ask grabbing my sides. "Of course." You smile. Those take my breath away and I need air.

We move to the back porch. She must have really hated Georgia's taste. She even redid the back yard, replacing the tables and chairs, putting more potted plants outside (weren't there enough already). The one new thing I enjoy is a multicolor hammock. I jump on it, surprised when You swing with me. You drape your arm around my shoulders. The warmth from your body floods over me. "Okay, I get to ask a question now." You don't wait for a response. "Why are you here, Am." Your voice is serious, but playful. "I can't come visit my friend." I say sitting up right in the hammock. Your arm falls and I turn my face so you can't see the tears forming in my eyes. "No,.. Just its two in the morning." "I know. I know." I say only its muffled by my arm. Your hand moves back and forth across my back.

My tears dry and the air around us is freezing. I want to go inside, or have your arms around me. You choose the first one, and we go inside, down to the basement. You click the tv on and heat up some popcorn and get drinks. I sit on the couch. It lets out a low moan. Stupid old thing. You come back carrying a blue bowl of popped corn and two cans of orange soda. You sit down next to me and down a handful of popcorn. I sip my soda. The liquid feels refreshing as it runs through my body.


Cautiously You ask," Am, Why are you here, really?" I take another sip and savor the flavor. "Um..." Half of me wants to tell You and the other half is screaming " You can't trust him, Amy!!!! Don't tell him any thing else. Leave!!!!" What should I do? You would have.