“You said you loved me.” My hazel eyes filled with tears. “Mark!? How can you do this if you loved me?” I kept a strong voice, but that was turning into a whisper as the tears started falling from my eyes. My body got weak, and my knees buckled. I fell back onto the floor, not realizing Mark moving toward me.
“I do love you, Alisha.” Mark reached for my hand to help me up, and I pushed it away. “I just think we need some time away from each other. I’m leaving in a few weeks, and I’m just going start over.” He was trying his best to keep his calm, and to not break his story. My friend, Marissa, let me in on a little secret. Mark had been cheating with a girl from the next school he’s going to for about two weeks. So I hit him with my words.
“If you really loved me you wouldn’t be cheating on me with that little tramp of yours.” The words fell out of my mouth before I really thought about it, and he was stunned. Not about the fact that I said it. He was surprised I knew. “Yeah, I know about her. At first I was like whatever. He’ll realize how god awful she is, and he’ll be back with me in no time. I see now, that I was wrong.” I was still on the floor, but he withdrew his hand from my reach, and turned from me. The way he slouched reminded me of a dog that had just been scolded.
“Maybe I should just go, then?” he looked around and I finally saw regret in his sky blue eyes. He started heading for the door, and I rushed off of the floor to the door. “What are you doing?” I looked him up and down one more time. His tan muscles sticking out of his cut-off t-shirt, and his face gorgeous. No pimples, no cuts, and no scars. I was frequently asking what his secret was. He always replied the same thing; how can I have them I have to keep up with how beautiful you are so people notice me when I stand next to you. Now I see it was to get girls.
I stepped away from the door, and leaned against the wall to balance myself. I was so light-headed. “At least let me drive you home.” I don’t know what I was doing, but I knew he didn’t have his car. Mark never drove. I wobbled as I put on my shoes, and almost fell when I headed out the door. I could feel Mark watching me. He knew I suffered from anorexia at one time, but he didn’t know it had began to return slowly. I hadn’t eaten in a day, and starving was starting to take its toll.
“I’m sorry.” His voice sounded like a whisper behind me. I tripped a little, and felt his arm wrap around me. Why am I letting him do this? I push his arm away. “Stop! I’m not yours to hold anymore. I’m giving you a ride home, and then I don’t want to see you.” He looked hurt that I rejected him like that. Even I flinched when I heard my harsh tone. I had never told him no before, and now it just seems like I’m telling a child he can’t have dessert. I turned to start walking, again. Finally, we got to my little silver Saturn. Mark was the first to get in and situated. I took a quick breath before getting in the driver’s seat.
I fumbled with the car keys, and blinked several times in a second. Mark was starring at me. He was finally seeing something was wrong. I put a hand over my forehead for a second, hoping it would stop the spinning going on inside my brain.
“Are you sure you should drive?” Mark questioned almost like he was worried about me, and not himself. I got the car started and revved the engine a bit. Then, I backed my way out of the driveway. Mark only lived a few streets over, so it was really no big deal driving him home. Well, besides the fact that we just broke up, but I don’t mind. I figured it would happen soon anyways. We were always off- again, and on-again people. I drove into the intersection without realizing that I had even made it that far down the road. Then, I heard Mark screaming at me.
“GET OUT OF THE INTERSECTION!!!!!” I hadn’t even noticed how busy the roads were. A blue mini-van plowed into the back-side of my car and sent us spinning. From there a burgundy suburban practically smashed my side of the car. That sent the air bags off. Then, a semi-truck ran into the somewhat recognizable front end of the car. More screams… and then silence. Nothing.
I couldn’t feel the contusions on my body, I couldn’t hear the screams, and I couldn’t see Mark sitting besides me. I could only think. Why just think? Does that mean my body is still fighting? Or is this what being dead is like? Just floating through nothingness, and being a thought. A tiny insignificant thought floating around in…where am I?
A faint beep reaches through my thoughts. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Then I see a bright light, and a man is standing over me in blue scrubs. I look around, and mark is laying in a hospital bed still unconscious.
“Just lay back, and relax. That accident was a nasty one. You had three fractured ribs, a broken leg, and a blow to your head. Just sleep for now while we finish tending to your friend. We’ve also called your parents.” At that the doctor pointed me to the window next to a desk with computers cluttering it. After focusing I saw my dad holding my mom tightly, and my mother crying into my dad’s chest. She looked so disappointed, but worse than that, she looked scared. I couldn’t see Mark’s parents, yet. They are probably waiting in the lobby just waiting for updates.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure to get plenty of rest, but is Mark okay?” I asked hoping for a good answer. Unfortunately, I was just praying he would be able to walk out of here fine.
“Yes, he is actually going to walk out of here, tomorrow. He’s just resting right now. He only had a slight bump on the head, and a broken hand. I guess they found his hand smashed over your’s. weird.” I glanced over at him, and tried to imagine him grabbing my hand the last minute he could have lived, but it didn’t fit. “Oh, and the ambulance that picked you up said to let you know that Mark, is it, told them that it was all a lie. To see how much you loved him. I’m not sure what it meant, but they were certain you would.” Another glance over at Mark showed him facing towards me with his eyes open. The doctor was already walking away.
To Mark I whispered, “It was a lie? You weren’t cheating?” I didn’t believe it at first, but the more I replayed the doctor saying it, the more it sounded like something Mark would do.
“Yeah, Marissa played along so that I could finally find out how much you loved me. Must be an awful lot to drive me home after that.” He was speaking slower than usual. Maybe that bump on the head was really affecting him. “I told you I loved you. I don’t lie about those things.”
“I love you, too. Just promise me one thing.”
“Yeah, Alisha?” he sounded like he used to now. The I’m-yours-forever-babe tone.
“Next time you want to know how much I love you. Just ask.”