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The Challenge
The challenge is to love, to love again when you've been hurt and cannot forgive. You question whether to trust or to push away this man who asks only for your love, nothing more. "Nothing more YET!" a wicked thought whispers. You smother it and trust again.
If the man you chose breaks your heart yet again you feel like a million pieces of shattered crystal. How to love again? Ha! How to breathe and move without burning yourself with red hot memories is far more important. Somehow you move on with your life, let your friends in again, return to normal sleeping hours and remember how to go back to work.
You meet him while having coffee or reading on a bench in the park, he trips you up at the supermarket or literally bumps into you when you are out for a walk. He makes a joke which you do not laugh at, he teases you and then you laugh and sit down to talk. You notice the danger signs, the way you think about him simply because you start to make a hot chocolate (which he loves), you mention what he says to your friends more often than is deemed healthy and sane. You think about him before you sleep and every time the phone rings your heart skips a beat.
After some time spent furiously denying it, you give in, you are in love, you admit it. You start dating, sharply on the lookout for a break up speech. But something is different this time around. This man you have found doesn't seem to care about all the little details the other one fussed about. He looks at the big picture yet likes his arm around your shoulder and can tell you what your hair smells of. He has offered advice as you have offered yours and your fragile heart is healing. Sure, you fight and you've even had the huge arguments but somehow they have sorted themselves out. You have given in, he has given in, to be happy.
Then one day he gets out a ring and you run away. Too scared, too hurt, too bewildered by the devotion in his eyes when he told you, "I love you". You cannot face all that being taken away so you take it away yourself. Yet he is not like the others were and you cannot forget him. His eyes filled with betrayal never leave your thoughts. You try hard but your heart, now strong, beats true. You realise again you love him, you realise again the challenge. You go back and he silently listens and choking with emotion silently embraces you in a cloak of acceptance of who you are. He really does love you and he does not intend on leaving.
The challenge is to work together to make this work and the challenge is going to be there every day of your life together but you are ready for it because you love him and you can trust again. Besides, life is too short not to.
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