Like a sudden breeze, it hit me with a cold, surprising defiance. I didn’t enjoy this feeling. I didn’t like surprises just as much as I hated suspense. As quickly as it had occurred to me, it left and a lonely void took its place. His words were the only support that kept me standing, alive and breathing. I thought it was all I needed, but it’s easy to change words. Like clothes, words change daily.

Like clothes and words, feelings change. You don’t love me anymore. It has dawned on me now that you don’t care. Maybe you did before, but now you don’t. I know you don’t. If you did, it wouldn’t be like this. We wouldn’t be like this. But I don’t know why I still love you.

I should hate you, despise you, and live on, happily without you. But instead I sit here and reminisce about the good times. I reminisce about the time before the fights, before the tears, before it became you and me alone and apart. I can’t lie and say I don’t miss us or what we use to be. I can’t lie and say I don’t love you. I can’t lie and say I hate you because the truth is I don’t.

We use to compete about who loved each other the most, but you don’t love me at all. Instead, it has changed into a battle to see who loves each other the least. But you’ve already won. This game that we’ve been playing—this long never ending game, stops now. Because this is the game I just don’t want to play.