I fingered the still cold water feeling it slide down my hands just like my tears, I still missed him the memory flashed in my mind, " I love you Anna," he had said touching my face, his hands were strong and soft from playing the piano so many years.

I tear slid down my face "don't leave me James."
he smiled "I'm just sick Anna ill get over it."

I thought he had been right but something inside me told me that he wasn't gonna make it. I nodded pulling his head close to mine and kissing his soft dark blond hair. I walked out of his room feeling empty and desolate without his warm touch and his fading blue eyes looking down on my face, his gaze left me feeling warm and tingly like a fire had erupted inside of me. I walked to the end of his drive way, mascara smearing down my face I wiped it off not caring what I looked like all I wanted was for James to get better. I decided to take a walk to get my mind off James I went to where he had asked me out, we called it the shade of the hill. I walked up to the top and looked down upon the valley seeing the long stretches of land across the vast plains. I sat down by our favorite tree and cried, I cried for James and for my broken heart, I knew he wasn't sick, he had cancer.
******

I woke up seeing her face pressed against mine and fought the urge not to cry, how was I supposed to tell her I was going to die I slowly got up and walked over to the mirror, my hair was slowly falling out and my eyes were sunken from lack of sleep, it had been so hard to sleep knowing you weren't going to live. She turned away tears spilling off her cheeks soaking her sleeve, I turned to hug her but she had already left. I walked back to my bed and laid down thinking of her, the way her face light up when she was with me, her beautiful icy blue eyes gazing across the room, it was a miracle she liked me and it was going to take a miracle for me to live.
******

I rested my head on the tree and wiped my eyes, my stomach churned just as it had when I was with James, he gave me butterfly's but the beautiful kind. I stood up and looked over the valley my shoulder resting on the trunk of the tree and suddenly I couldn't handle it I sunk to my knees and cried "why, why does he have to die!?" I screamed sobbing into my already soaked sleeves. It felt like an eternity before I stopped crying, I looked up and saw James soft chocolate brown eyes hovering over me, he sat down next to me and whispered in my ear " I'll always be with you," he said placing his hand on my heart I looked away tears brimming my eyes.

"I love you James."

"I love you too Anna."

That night James died in my arms, his words still have a place in my heart he said in his dying breath " I used to think about you because every day I would end up loving you more than the last." He then died in my arms and I cried and cried because he was the love of my life and now he was just a memory.