1
I’m on my way to my college. It’s the second time going to the campus. I'm really excited to move away and live on my own. I know it's going to be really different but it will definitely be something new. Something good, I hope.

I take a deep breath, I whisper, “This is it.”
My dad drives into the campus and I’m on the urge of crying. From this point on I will be on my own, living in a bigger world I've always lived in.
"I'm going to cry." This is too overwhelming.
"I know honey but lets save the tears until we get your luggages in your room because I don't want to be a wreck just getting you to your dorm." My parents and I get the luggages and boxes out of the trunk and back seats. We all take as much as we can so we don't have to keep walking back and forth.
"Honey, what do you have in here?" I laughed, "Everything I need, dad. And a few extra things from home."
We finally get to my dorm. It’s big and the closets are huge. It’s perfect. "Wow, it's beautiful." Her eyes widen and her mouth opens a little. Watery eyes begin to get noticed. She’s startled. My dad’s arms are crossed. He lets go and rubs my moms back. I know that rub. It means don’t worry about, everything is going to be OK, we’re going to be OK.
I've lived with my parents my whole life and now I'm moving away to another city where I won't be able to see them everyday. You would think this is the greatest thing happening to an 18 year old but when you begin to realize how different your life will be, it makes you lose your mind a little.
I start crying, really crying. "I'm going to miss you so much, both of you." My parents walk over and hug me tightly. I don't even care if it’s hard to breathe. I love them too much to let go and I want to stay in their arms forever.
"You'll be fine, before you know it we'll be spending the holidays together." I tug away, "Dad you can show some emotion. It's okay."
His hand reaches up to to his eye and he smiles. Looking at me, he’s trying to hold back the tears. He sobs. "I'm just so proud of you and you're going to do amazing here. I don't want the fact that you won't be living with us anymore make you feel guilty. Please don't. We love you so so much."
My eyes lit up. I bite my lip really hard that it begins to hurt. I’m fighting like hell, trying to stop myself from curling up in a ball and cry.
"I love you."

I’m walking my parents to their car. I hug each of them tightly for a few minutes. “Call us whenever you need us. We don’t care if it’s 8 in the morning or 12 at night. We will always be there.” I lean my head on him and hug his arm.
“I know dad, thank you. I love you.”
I kissed them the last goodbye. They smiled hard trying to keep the tears in. They got in the car and they drove off. I waved one last time and they beeped the horn.
I stay there another minute trying to take everything in. I start heading back to my dorm when I realize I have a convention to go to. I look at my watch and the time says 3:01. The freshman meets sophomore convention is in half hour. It’s when a sophomore tours a freshman the campus and tells them how their first year of college will be like.
I’m in the bathroom washing my hands and I hear a knock on the door. I dry my hands with the towel that was already on the sink before I came. I jog to the door jumping over one of my luggages. Before I turn the knob, I brush the bottom of my hair with my finger tips. I hope he’s a cute, I think to myself. I reach to the door knob and turn it. I pull it wide open and it’s a guy. He waves. “Hey, I’m Chris.” Chris is the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen. Tall buff body, like an NBA player. Teeth are perfectly straight and pearl white. His eyes and hair are dark brown like chocolate ice cream.
I smile, “Hi, I’m Adriana.” He reaches over for a hug. I reach right under under his shoulders. “When I was a freshman I got greeted by a hug and I don’t see why you shouldn’t be too.”
I giggle, “Thank you, I’m a hugger anyways.” He laughs.
“Good, are you ready?” I walk to the desk right by the door and grab my phone.
“Yeah, lets go!”
We start walking.Turning his face to mine, “Where are you from?” I look back at him.
“New York.”
He widens his eyes. “Whaaat? I’ve always wanted to go.” I shrug showing a little smile.
“It’s not bad, where are you from?” He turns his head facing forward. “Massachusetts. I was born and raised in Boston.”
No wonder he has an accent. "I've never been to Boston. I'd love to go."
He rubs his hands and squints his eyes from the sun that’s in his face. “I’ll show you! I have a car.” I try to act surprised.
“Really?”
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Yes, of course. I have nothing better to do and I wouldn’t want you go with someone else.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why not?”
He hesitates. “Uhhm, I don’t know. I just… I’d just like to show you around and who else knows more about Boston than me?”
I nod and look up at him. He was already looking at me. “True. I’m down to go.” He nods back.
“Good. We got a plan.” He reaches my hand to shake it.
Chris and I just finished going around campus. I now know where to get my coffee, what the best foods are in the cafeteria, the right time to go to the gym, how parties on campus are like, and which crowd I should stick to.
I give a thoughtful expression. "Thanks for showing me around today."
"Don't worry about it. It was fun." He locks eyes with me and he opens his mouth. Nothing is coming out.
"What?" I say blushing. He puts his hands inside his front jean pockets. He's looking down at me. "Do you want to come to the campfire with me?"
All of a sudden I feel giddy. I began to feel those stupid "butterflies" in my stomach that always makes me feel sick. "Yeah, tonight?"
He shines a smile. "Yeah, I'll meet up with you around 6:30 where the convention was."
I couldn't believe I was already going to hangout with the hottest guy I've ever seen. I was stoked. "Okay. Do you want to exchange numbers just in case of something?" Was that too much to ask?
He nods agreeing with my statement. "Yeah here's my phone. You write in yours and I'll write in mine."


"Okay, so I'll see you later." He nods biting the bottom of his lip. "Yeah."


Damn, that lip bite was sexy. I'm heading back to my dorm thinking about what is going to come next. I'm going to change my outfit because I'd rather go to the campfire not wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. I want to wear something more appropriate for the occasion. I change into denim jeans and a plain white long sleeve t-shirt. I blow out my hair a little to give some volume. I finish up putting hairspray on.
There's still an hour left until the campfire so I'm going to start unpacking. I put all my folded tees, bras, and underwear in my drawers. I hang my blouses and jeans in the closet because I'm not planning on ironing my clothes when they get wrinkly. Thankfully these closets have those boxes for shoes. So all my sneakers, flats, and sandals are in there. On top I put my boots and heels. My body products are in the bathroom. Shampoos, conditioners, body soaps, and cleansers are in the shower racks. I finish unpacking my first luggage and drag it under my bed. I'll finish the rest whenever I can.

It's almost 6:30 and I haven't left the dorm. I quickly put a little eyeliner on my waterline and mascara on. I spray some extra hairspray. Walking over to the outlet next to my bed, I grab my phone and disconnect it from the charger. While putting my phone in the back pocket of my jeans, I walk to the closet and get my black converse and put them on. I switch the light off in the bathroom and get my dorm keys.

I begin walking to the campfire to meet up with Chris. The place is packed. I can hear house music playing and I see people dancing. Chris is already waiting for me at the spot. He changed his outfit too. He's wearing khakis with a white v-neck and black vans. He looks so good. He turns and sees I'm walking towards him. He shifts his body to face my way. He cracks a smile and I feel my heart melting. He’s so hot and and I can't help but blush a little. Now that I’m closer to him I smile.
He snans me looking up and down widening his eyes. "Hey, wow." I blush even harder now. "What?"
Smiling again looking down at my outfit he says, "You look, amazing." Oh thank god it was a compliment and not something else. I don't know what else he could've possibly said but I'm glad it was just a compliment.
"Oh, thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." That was so stupid. Why did I say that? I think to myself.
You can tell he's tipsy. He's holding a red cup with beer in it. "Do you want a drink?" I'm not a big fan of beer but I'm in the mood to have a some.
"Yeah, I'll get it." He shakes his head.
"No, wait here. I'll be right back." Before I could demand that I go he was already walking to the table. I’m awkwardly standing here for a minute until he gets back with another drink in his hand. We both reach out our arms and I grab it. "Thank you"
He reaches his finger out, shaking it. "It's okay. I love getting you drinks." Maybe he was a little more than tipsy.
I turn away from Chris to look around at everyone. Hardwell is playing. I start bobbing my head and tapping my foot on the grass. This almost feels like the time I was in Ultra with my best friends in March, but less wild. As I’m bringing my hand to my mouth to get a sip of my beer I see my ex-boyfriend Chandlor walking towards my way. All of a sudden I feel my blood rushing to the tip of my head. I haven’t seen him in a year when he broke up with me because he didn’t want to start college having a girlfriend who was in high school. I’m hoping he didn’t see me so I turn quickly and stand in front of Chris.
By Chris’ facial expression it was obvious someone is behind me. I turn my head back and Chandlor is right there. “Adriana?”

I smirk. “Yeah?” Chris grabs my hand gently and pulls me to his side.
Immediately Chandlor looks over to Chris. His face gets red and his vein on his forehead pops out. Then he turns his head to face me, getting closer. “What are you doing here? And how do you know this guy?”
I laugh at how dumb Chandlor is. “I go here asshole, and it’s not any of your business.”
Chris chuckles and takes a long sip of his beer. Chandlor looks over to Chris. “What are you laughing at?” Finishing his drink and throwing the cup out in the garbage next to him he responds, “Nothing man, leave us alone.”
I smile and nod my head agreeing with Chris. Chris and I take hands. “Let’s get another drink.” Before turning to walk away, Chandlor throws a cup with liquor to Chris. I feel a pull from my arm when Chris runs over to Chandlor and punches him. They are going at it and I don’t know what to do. They still aren’t on the ground so I get in between them and try separating them.
I yell at Chandlor. “Stop! You psycho! Let go of him!”

I can hear Chris whispering in my ear to get away. I’m not going to let my dumb ex-boyfriend hurt Chris. By now Chandlor’s friends who were with him before coming up to me are pulling him away from Chris. “How does my fist feel on your face?”

I run to Chris and I can see the disappointment in Chandlors face when I don’t go to him. “Chris! Are you okay?” He doesn’t respond and I don’t blame him.
“I’m so sorry.” He looks up and still has to decency to smile. “It’s not your fault.” He sees my hands shaking so he reaches out and grabs them in his. I smile at his kindness and sit next to him.
“You should cool off. If you need anything call me. I’m going to talk to him.” He shakes his head while looking down. “No don’t worry about it he’s just some frat kid who was obviously jealous of me talking to you.” I nod.
“Yeah but he’s also my ex-boyfriend and I’m going to talk to him because he had no right to do what he did.” Now he’s looking at me, surprised. I’ll take the time to answer any questions he may have.
“He broke up with me the summer before he started college, last year. He didn’t want to keep dating a dumb high schooler. I was with him for 2 years.” He’s shaking his head at my story. “Damn. Prick.”
We both get up and walk to a private spot. I hug him. “I’ll see you later?” He bites his lip again being all sexy. “Yeah.”

I rush away looking for Chandlor. As soon as I spot him I speed walk. A bunch of girls in crop tops and low waist shorts are surrounding him. His “boys” are laughing and making jokes about the fight. I’m so aggravated. Chandlor has the audacity to disrespect my friend and I and make jokes about it? I think about how badly I want to punch him as I reach the spot he’s in. Pushing aside one of the girls surrounding him he gets up from the log. “You are the rudest human being.” He puts his arms out to grab me.
“Look I want to talk to you.” I pull the middle finger at him.
“Is this enough? I don’t want you near my friends and I.” I storm off, pissed.
He hugs me from behind the way he always did when we were dating. “C’mon, I just wanna talk.” What would he want to possibly talk about?
“No, get off of me!” I try to get away but it seems he got stronger.
“Only if you talk to me.” I don’t want to say yes but if I do and he lets go I can manage to get away.
“Okay, let go of me!” He slides his arms off my waist. I start walking and he jogs to my side. If it’s asking questions while I’m walking then I’m OK with talking.
“Why are you with that guy? He’s not good for you.” My eyes widen, big like a full moon.
“What? Look who’s talking!” His face sinks in, hurt by my words but he knows it’s true.
“Look, I’m really sorry about how things ended. You didn’t deserve that.” I shake my head.
“Why are you telling me this now? Why wait a year? Because you saw me with another guy?” He thinks about it for a little.
“I didn’t want to keep you from seeing guys because I was going off to college. I wanted and still want you to be happy but when I saw you with that guy it ticked me off. I got jealous.” Obviously he was but I’m confused. Why would he wait so long to tell me all this? Why was he hooking up with so many girls after our breakup if he wanted me to be happy? I was hurt and he continued to hurt my feelings.
“If you cared about me you would’ve never dumped me and hookup with girls a week later. How many times did I tell you I wanted to stay with you and that distance didn’t matter? I was striving to go to this school like we planned. So what you’re saying is going in one ear and out the other.” He needed to hear that. Pouting I notice his lip is swollen from the punch he got. His eye sockets look bruised. Darkness runs over his face.
“One day I’ll make it up to you. I wanted you to know that you were allowed to move on. I only hooked up with those girls because I didn’t want all my thoughts to be about you. Obviously it didn’t work because when I got home all I thought about was you. I’m so sorry.”
My mind’s racing. This is all too much to take in. I don’t know if I should trust him right now but I don't want any drama. I’m not going to 100% accept his apology but I’m willing to make things better.
“It’ll take time for me to fully accept your apology. This hasn’t sunk in yet. And our problems are between us. You didn’t have to throw a drink at Chris. He’s a good guy.” Sighing he takes my hand.
“You don’t know that guy. But honestly, you’re right. I’m not gonna b****.” What does he know about Chris I think.
“Okay. Where do we go from here?” I don’t know if I’m ready to make peace with my ex-boyfriend. This isn’t normal right? My heart starts racing at the thought that I can possibly grow feelings for him again.

Eyes looking blue like the ocean. Bits of his dirty blonde hair is falling over his forehead. He looks a lot like the first time I ever saw him. Hugging me tightly he sighs. “I want to make things better. I need you to be able to work things out. I genuinely am sorry. I love you.”
I love you. I love you. I love you. That phrase keeps repeating in my head. I feel the adrenaline kick in. Memories come back from the night we met.





2
My cousin invited me to go to a house party with her over the weekend. She’s picking me up and I’m finishing up getting ready. My phone rings from a text that says, ‘I’m outside! Come when you’re done.’ I give a last glance at myself in the mirror. I’ll be sleeping over her house because I’ll be drinking and my parents don’t know that. I grab my huge purse with everything I may need for tonight and the sleepover. My mom walks into my room.
“Be careful tonight honey. Call me if you need anything.” She hands me $20. She’s so cute I love her, I think to myself.
“Thank you. I’ll call you tomorrow morning.” I give her a kiss on the forehead and interlock fingers with her while we walk to my dad.
“Danielle’s outside. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I walk over and give him a hug. My mom brings me to the door and waves at Danielle.
“Bye! Have fun girls.” I hop in the front seat next to Danielle. She rolls down the window to wave at my mom.
“Thank you! Love you!” She changes to drive and beeps the horn. Both of us keep our hands waving out the window until we don’t see my mom anymore.
Danielle always plays her music loud so there is never talking while she’s driving. We only jam out and sing along. It took 7 songs to get to the house. She pulls over half a block away. The music was at 90 but now she's narrowed it down to 25. This is the first time I've been on my way to a real party.
"I'm a little nervous." She makes an 'aw' face. She always treats me like I’m a baby.
"Don't be, you'll be with me. I'll introduce you to a couple people and you can stay with them when I'm in the party mode." That makes me feel a little better.
"Okay, I’m ready!" I put my purse in the backseat. Luckily Danielle’s windows are tinted so no one can see what’s in the car. We both get out and start walking.

There’s a lot of people. Many of them are in their late teens and early 20’s and a lot of the guys are hot. They don’t even bother to look at me though. Like always, I’m left to be unnoticeable.

Danielle knows everyone. All the guys and girls look at her like a god. They all want to be noticed by her and it’s kind of annoying me. Luckily she remembers I’m with her.
“This is my cousin, Adriana!” She rests her hand on my upper back waiting for me to say something.
“Hi.” They all laugh but one guy. Are they making fun of me? I think to myself.
“You guys, she’s shy but when you get to know her, damnn.” She looks at me smiling big. I love that my cousin makes me feel better in situations like these. I laugh at that trying to hide my blushing.

One of the guys that laughed at me licks his lips and makes a kissy face. “She’s sexy.” I laugh uncomfortably. Ew did he really just say and do that? Sweat is being formed in my palms. I turn to Danielle signaling to take me somewhere else. She gets me right away.
“Honestly have some respect.” Danielle pushes him and puts her arm around my shoulder. Thank god. What a relief.
“I need a drink.” I really do. I want to loosen up just a tad.
Danielle nods. “I’ll get us, wait here.”

I see an empty space on the couch and sit. Everyone in the room is either making out with someone, giving lap dances, or drinking. I take my phone out to check the time. 9:13. I’ve only been here for 10 minutes? This is going to be a long night. Putting my phone back in my pocket I see the guy that didn’t laugh at me walking my way. Black tee, black vans, and skinny jeans. He looks Italian with his dirty blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He squeezes next to me making me move a little over. He’s looking at me. Should I introduce myself? He already knows my name though. I’ll just wait to Danielle gets here.

It’s been five minutes and she still isn’t here. The guy stopped looking a long time ago but I still want to start a conversation with him. I turn my body and head to face him.
“What’s your name?”
He sits up straightening his back. “I’m Chandlor.” Chandlor. Nice name.
“I’m…” He interrupts me right away.
“Adriana, I remember. I came here to tell you that you’re really beautiful and it’s kinda hard not to look at you.” That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. The most attention I got from a guy was never. I move a centimeter closer to him, smiling.
“Thank you. That’s really sweet.” He was going to say something but Danielle calls my name. I look up and she’s holding my drink.
“Oh, sorry. What took you so long?”
She rolls her eyes. “The guys were hiding the drinks from me.”
I giggle. “That’s nice.”
She notices I’m sitting real close to a guy. “So you’ve met Chandlor.”
I nod and she looks at him getting real close to his face.
“Be good to her, she’s my little cousin and know I’m very protective of her.” I raise an eyebrow. She’s drunk already. She looks at me afterwards.
“I love you Adriana. You deserve the best. Don’t let the guys in the past make you think that you shouldn’t be treated with respect. They’re dumbasses!” How much has she drank? I get up and walk her to the corner.
“Thank you, I love you but relax on the liquor. Have fun but be safe. And seriously don’t embarrass me.” Nodding she walks away.

I go back to sit on the couch to finish my conversation with Chandlor. “Sorry.”
Shaking his head he moves closer to me. “What guys was she talking about?”
Damn. He was paying attention. I run my fingers through hair thinking about what I should respond. “It’s nothing. It was just some guys I liked that didn’t like me back. She made it seem like such a big deal.”
He was looking at my hair the way he was when I was running my fingers through it. “No, she’s right. You’re literally the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. Those guys are blind!”
I feel like this is a movie. The hot guy falls in love with the outcast. This couldn’t be real right now. I laugh. “No guys don’t see me as more than a friend and more less than a friend.”
His right eyebrow raises with a confused facial expression. “Of course they do. I definitely would, well do.”
Then I could hear fireworks in my head. See colorful lights flashing my way. Chandlor holds my face and pulls me in for a kiss. This is the most romantic moment in my life. It’s been a good long minute. We both pull away, breathless.







3

My alarm clock wakes me up causing me to fall off my bed. Yesterday was crazy. The memory of when Chandlor and I first met made me gain feelings for him again. Something in me will never get over him and what we had. He’s still a d*bag for leaving me but I want to hear his side of the story.


Bright light from the sun is shining into my room. I love sunny days and there’s no way I can go back to sleep. I stretch my body out making a couple weirds noises. I hop out of bed and go to the bathroom. Turning the sink on I put toothpaste on my toothbrush. I’m done washing my mouth so I head to the shower. Usually I take showers at night but there wasn’t time yesterday.



When I get out of the shower I dry myself and chose an outfit to wear. The weather says 75 degrees so I chose something light. Beige shorts and a grey crop top with nude flats. It’s too hot to do anything with my hair so I put some mousse on. I told Chandlor to come to my dorm at 12 and it’s 11:30. Quickly I make my bed. Unnecessary clothes that are on the floor are put back in place. When I open the shades it lights up my room to a white color you have to squint your eyes. I walk to my dresser and spray perfume on myself and around the room. It’s a habit.


Chandlor came 10 minutes early. It was planned to walk around campus and talk but instead he wanted to stay in.

“If you don’t mind I’d rather stay in your dorm and talk things out. After though, if you still would want to walk around, we can go!”

He’s right. Maybe it be better to talk in a private environment. “Yeah, it’s fine!”



His shoulders loosen up. He looks like his comfortable self even though he’s standing. I pat the empty space on my bed. “Sit with me.”

His smile goes to the side, the way I always used to tease him about. “Thanks.” I make an inside laugh and look at him. He is looking at me the way he did the first time he saw me.

“You look beautiful.” Everytime he says that I fall harder for him.

“Thanks, that’s sweet.” I said that so he can possibly think about the first time we met. He zones out for a little.

“What’re you thinking about?” Curious to what he’s going to say.

“Not gonna lie. The first time we met when I called you beautiful you told me ‘thanks that’s so sweet.’ It reminded me of that time.” Was this fate telling me to remember the way things were? That they were what made me a better person?

“That’s so weird. Yesterday when you were looking at me I thought of the first time we met and the kiss.” Both of us widen our eyes. Who knew we’d be sitting together right now? It’s beyond crazy how things change. People grow and they change but you were once a part of their life. In this case, Chandlor and I were eachothers worlds.


Whenever we were hurt and saddened by something we would hug. I move closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead and I can’t help but say those three words.


“I love you Chandlor.” Shocked at the words coming out of my mouth, I move my head away from his arm. His adam's apple goes up then down. He looks surprised. He didn’t see this coming.


“Will you be my girlfriend?” No I think. We have to sort things out first. My brain is telling me no but my heart is telling me yes. Everyone says to follow your heart and that’s what I’m going to do. We don’t deny loving each other. I definitely don’t see myself with anyone else. I smile big and nod.
“Yes.”
He laughs with joy and gets up from the bed to pick me up bridal style. We kiss for a long time. We stop and stare at each other until he puts me down on the bed softly. He shakes his head.
“I love you.” I pull him on top of me and I hug him, tight. Not wanting to ever let go of him. I’m his girlfriend and he's my boyfriend again. We cuddle for a long time and kiss once more. Letting go of that kiss, breathless.