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A Distant Memory But For All Of Eternity
"I'll meet you there at 7." He had told me about an hour ago. I stood in that parking lot waiting for him to pick me up. I only lived a few blocks away but I wanted to see him. So, being stupid, i stayed longer. He promised to see me tonight before he left state for his business trip to Florida. He told me he loved me and that he would try his hardest. I felt a drop of water land on my arm, then my forehead and pretty soon i was drenched. But yet, i did not leave. I ran to the nearest bus stop and stood inside the little pavilion. I looked at my phone and wiped away the water drops that covered the screen. 8:45 was the time. I've been here for almost 2 hours and haven't seen a single car. He hasn't bothered to text or call me telling me that he decided that he wanted nothing to do with me. I felt so stupid to stand there in the dark and in the rain.
I called him at least a dozen times only to be met with another voicemail. Again and again i stayed quiet until the beep and then hung up. I felt alone and abandoned. Did he purposely do this to make me feel like an idiot? We have been together for almost 2 and a half years. Is he tired of being with me? Has he moved on? Thousands of thoughts ran through my head, each ending with the same thing. Heartbreak.
It wasn't until almost 11:30 that i finally decided to give up on him. With tears in my eyes, i began to walk away from the pavilion. The air was humid and there were puddles of water surrounding me. I could feel my heart breaking as the seconds passed.
"I bet he didn't feel bad at all." I kept thinking.
I turned on my street and saw the white house on the corner. I made it home. From here i could see that all of the lights were out. There was no movement to be seen until i felt the air shift from the presence of the unwanted behind me. I tried to keep calm. I quickened my pace enough to where it could be unnoticeable, but so did he. It wasn't until two strong hands wrapped around my waist that i realized this was a dangerous situation. I turned around quickly to be met with eyes that were dark and a smirk that stabbed my heart with fear. His breath smelled strongly of the liquor he had drank just moments before he caught me alone. He meant to do some damage to me.
I tried to pull away from him, but his hands stayed put and dug into my skin. I was ready to scream until my mouth was closed by his own. He pulled at my clothes but i refused to let him bare me of the only protection i had against him at this moment. He was aggressive. Realizing that they wouldn't come off, he moved his hands underneath. I turned away, trying to avoid the foul taste of his dirty mouth. He didn't care, nor did he realize. He just kissed where ever skin was being shown. His hands dug deeper into my skin. I could feel myself bruising already. Doing the only thing i could think of, i freed my hand from his grasp and made contact with the side of his hairy face. He looked at me, stunned. Even in this poor lighting i could see the red mark that was left on the right side of his face.
His expression was filled with rage. One hand was released from my pants and moved up to my neck. I was completely paralyzed. All i could do was stand there and watch as he took away my ability to breathe. His grasp became tighter. He threw me to the hard wet pavement. Blood seeped from the scrapes on my knees and elbows. The small pieces of gravel dug into the palms of my hands. He towered above me like he was some sort of god. He smiled at my pain. He began to pick me up like a doll and looked at me straight in the eyes. I pulled away again and was met with a hard blow to the side of my head. Black dots filled my vision as i looked around and questioned where i was. I could see him walking away and pulling out a brown bottle from the pocket of the light jacket he wore. He popped off the cap and began to drink.
He was walking in the opposite direction i had to go. That made me feel at least a little safer knowing that he wasn't going to follow me. I stood up slowly, feeling that pain from his attack spread though my body. I made my way up my porch steps and through my door, which was surprisingly unlocked at this hour. Once inside, i stayed mute and quietly walked up the carpeted steps that led to my bedroom. I walked in and jumped into my bed, trying to forget that this night ever happened. Trying to forget that he abandoned me.
I dreamed of him and how happy we were before that night. I remembered how he said he would be by my side until the day he died. He promised me his soul and i promised him mine. Things were going smoothly until the image of my attacker separated us. Again, i could feel his hands dig into my skin, leaving the bruises and the scratches. He pressed himself against my body, allowing me no room to get away. Again I resisted him and was met with another blow to the head awaking me from my nightmare.
Sweat covered my body. I was still in the same clothes as i was dressed in last night. I walked to the bathroom, being careful not to draw attention to myself. I slowly and quietly shut the door and clicked the lock. I just looked at myself in the mirror as the tears spilled out of my eyes. I didn't bother to wipe them away. I wasn't afraid to hid my pain as long as no one else saw it. My mind kept wandering back to him. Where had he gone when he supposed to pick me up? Why didn't he contact me in some way?
I told myself to forget about him. He was gone and now I'm alone. I pulled my shirt over my head to examine the damage that was made. There were black dots just above my shorts where he dug his fingertips. Every motion made the pain come back. There were long black prints that wrapped around my throat. My hands were freshly cut and were stained with the blood that seeped from them. I turned the faucet to a warm temperature and soaked my hands under the running water. A slight sting came from the contact but it was barely noticeable after a few seconds. The blood circled the flawless, white sink before sinking down into the black drain that will carry it away from me forever.
The bruises were very pronounced on my pale skin. There was no way that a layer of concealer would hide this. No one would see the marks on my hips, but they would see the ones that were left around my neck. I had to hide it all. No one was allowed to see what had happened. I cracked the door open and quickly slipped put and back into my bedroom, and closed the door behind me. I pulled on his track sweatshirt that he had left me and a pair of my sweats. I had calmed myself down to a point to where no one would ever expect that there was something wrong. It wasn't until I had gotten the call that my nerves spiked too high.
It was a woman from the hospital. The conversation only lasted at least a minute until she told me that he had been in a car accident and was in critical condition. I dropped the phone, grabbed my keys and rushed to the local hospital. The traffic seemed to be worse then usual. Green lights turned straight to red just as I was pulling up. Finally, I made it to the parking lot and into the building. Everyone was busy. Answering phones and calming down relatives of the patients. I ran to the front desk where I was greeted by a dark woman in blue scrubs. She gave me her best smile but I could tell that she was too overwhelmed and exhausted. I spit his name at her. She looked at me disgusted but told me his room number. 402. I ran to the nearest elevator and pressed the silver button that led me up to his floor. The ride up seemed to last a life time. Finally the doors slid open and i rushed out.
Hall after hall I searched for him. Another room that held another patient that wasn't him. Down another hall. 399, 400, 401, and then finally, 402. I walked in, not knowing what I was going to see. It smelled sterile. Disinfectant filled the atmosphere and burned my nose. I looked all, around. A million thoughts rushed through my head leading back to the same thing: He is gone and I am to late. My eyes went to the curtain that was pulled shut. I pulled at the side enough so I could peek and see who was laying in the white bed. To my surprise, it was him. The thin blue blanket had been kicked to the end. His body was slick with sweat. He had a white bandage that was wrapped tightly around his torso, covering all of his ribs. A cast had been placed on his left leg and his right arm. A bandage was wrapped around his head, blood had soaked through and it was ready for a change.
I sat cautiously on the side of the bed and he slowly opened his eyes, revealing a radiant blue that was still full of life. He smiled stupidly and I couldn't help but smile back.
"I've been waiting to leave so I could come pick you up." He said, his words clashing together. I couldn't hold back my tears. They fell and he reached out to grab my hand. I entangled mine in his grasp and didn't let go. He looked at the exposed part of my wrist. The black bruises stood out to him. He stared at them, the look of confusion filling his face. Finally he looked at me.
"Mia, what happened last night?"
"I want to ask you the same." I said, sounding like a smartass in the process. I pulled my hand away and covered up the bruises. He looked at me knowing that he had no choice but to answer.
"I left the house after I got off the phone with you. I was on my way to pick you up until....some drunk rammed into the drivers side in the middle of the intersection. I blacked out and woke up here earlier today, realizing that I suffered from a sever concussion and quite a few broken bones. I tried to contact you but they put me on pain killers and I was completely dead to the world. I must have been awake because they asked me if there was anyone they should contact and I said you."
When he talked, he was very distant from me. Not physically but mentally. He looked past me, remembering what he had gone through. I looked away, feeling awful for putting him through this again. I looked up and his eyes were locked on mine. I couldn't look away from him. Again, he repeated his question.
"What happened last night?" He asked, more demanding this time.
"I waited for you." I said looking away from his gaze.
"Oh Mia." He said, trying to be caring and concerned.
"No, I sat there for hours and waited for you!" I said, anger covering my words. He sat and listened. "It was raining and I was cold and wet but I stayed there. I called you so many times. Each time it went to voicemail, horrible thoughts ran through my head. I thought you set me up. I though you left. I cried so much and I finally decided to give up and walk home. I was attacked Jon! I was attacked by a drunk who tried taking advantage of me! You have absolutely no clue as to how I felt last night. I felt abandoned." I had raised my voice higher then it should have been. The tears streamed down my face. He looked at me. I could tell that he was hurt. His own tears slid down his face. He reached for my hand and I allowed him to take it. He managed to roll up my sleeve enough to show the whole bruise.
"Is this the only place he hurt you?" He asked. Without talking, I answered his question by showing the ones that wrapped around my neck and were imprinted on my hips. His whole body deflated. He was completely speechless.
"I am so sorry. I never though of....this happening to you." I nodded and pulled my hand back to my body. He tried to sit up so he could reach me but it was too painful, so I came to him.
I let him wrap his good arm around me and hold me. Immediately I forgave him. He was in an accident. He was admitted to the hospital. I couldn't be mad at him. No matter how much pain I went through last night, it could never match up to what he endured.
"I promise that I will never let you get hurt like that again. Even if I am hurting, you should never go through anything like that. I love you Mia and I will love you and protect you until the day that I die."
The tears rolled down my face. He kept saying that it was over. The men were gone and we could be happy again, but how? How could we be normal again without worrying about each other when we leave? Never knowing if something like this will happen again. He looked at me concerned. He knew what I was thinking about.
"Mia, I can promise everything that I am that I will never ever let anyone else hurt you like that again."
I nodded my head, finding it almost impossible to look at him. I couldn't let him see me in such pain and disbelief. I wanted it to all disappear. I wanted to move on and I was willing to let him tell me that it was over, that he was going to protect me. I let him tell me that so many times that soon, I believed it myself.
He continued to love me endlessly. He continued to protect me like he said he would. The years passed and the pain became a distant memory. As he was laying there in his bed with a bag of fluid above his head and an IV in his arm, he held my hand and whispered to me.
"Mia, I think I may have to change my promise. I will love you forever and I will always be by your side to protect you. Our love is eternal and I won't let my passing change that."
He breathed his last few breaths and closed hid eyes slowly as the life faded out. His grip loosened and the line went blank. Now he is gone. Now he is forever my guardian angel.
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A story that took time to develope. Even in the most painful times, someone is always watching over you and being yoour guardian angel.