He was born.

He didn't know how, why, or when, but he was created. 

He remembered being a young man in his past life, but where was he now? A void, that's all he knew. Slowly, he tried changing the void. The first attempt… didn't go too well. Apparently, even the tiniest initial change caused a giant expansion of something that didn't seem to want to stop.

But, oh well, it didn't seem that bad, the inside of the expanded space was cooling, right? And it wasn't like he could start over. This was the one chance he got, and curse him if he didn't make the most of this opportunity! Who would've ever thought of a teenager playing god..?

But, back to further matters. The universe was born, yes, because of him, also yes. But none of these actions was deliberate. Moving forward, what next? Oh right, stars. So stars started to be formed due to gravity, that much he knew. So maybe just… increase the gravity? That should work. So he could start with a few thousand… And oh look! They'd already started clumping togeth- Wait were those galaxies?!

Next up, life! 

Picking a planet with the conditions already just right (putting everything together from scratch was impossibly hard work), he started letting some tiny, tiny, barely even single-celled organisms form. And now all that was left was to wait.

And wait

And wait

And wait some more

Almost there! Just a few billion short years left...

-Why was he doing all this again? 

Oh right, the human race… 

But were they worth it though?

Of course, they were!

But, was he completely totally 100% sure they were worth it?

No, no he was not.

Therefore, rather than wait another unimaginably long period of time he started again, on a new planet.

Everything went on the same at first, yadda yadda.

Until, for some reason, after waking up from a billion-year long nap, he saw talking dinosaurs

Talking. Dinosaurs.

Oh right, no asteroid this time.

Was it odd he wanted these creatures to die?

Then he looked at them again, dinosaurs in business suits.

Need he say more?

No, he need not, he was a god.

With a very heavy and slightly repulsed heart, he decided to start over again. "Third times the charm…!"

No, no it was not the charm

Everything looked like it was going well this time, but that couldn't very well go on, could it?

This world he created was eerily similar to his old one, and he would have applauded his own handiwork had he not noticed just a rather large group of people, who, now he remembers, existed in the old universe too.

People who had the utter audacity to not believe in him

Mister Jake Pryce, now known as Mister Jake God would NOT stand for it

And this was the final straw.

Maybe, this all could start over again, he could give the responsibility to someone else this time?

Yes, that sounded nice.

So picking someone from the world at random, he went to sleep for a very, very long time…

He was born.

He didn't know how, why, or when, but he was crea-

And the rest was history.