Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am so stupid. I mean come on! How could I be so stupid? I am just so…
Oh you probably get the idea. Well, I should probably just stop wasting time so I can tell you my story.


It all started when I was walking home from school with my friend, Jacob, when I noticed this old man. He didn’t look like anything special, but he was chanting something and was walking particularly slowly. I noticed that he was starting to jaywalk. He didn’t just jaywalk. He was walking right in the middle of the street as if there was no street at all. I saw a huge car coming by, and it was heading straight for him. The next thing I knew, I was running up to that guy and pushing him out of the way of the car. Actually, it wasn’t really pushing. It was more like jumping. Now you might be thinking that saving that man was the stupid thing I did, but it’s not. The real stupid thing I did is coming up. Anyway, so there I am. Layin on the sidewalk next to this weird guy who I’ve never even met before. Then I see Jacob running towards me.
“Well. Well. Well.” Said Jacob “Looks like we have a candidate for top 10 wimpiest heros.”
“Shut up!” I said. I then noticed that the strange man was getting up.

“You saved my life!” He said. “How can I ever repay you?”
“You don’t need to repay me. It’s just something I did.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, young man. I owe you. I tell you what.” He then reach into his coat pocket (oops. I forgot to mention he was wearing a coat.) and pulled out 2 objects. One was an ancient Arabian Lamp (sort of like the one from “Aladdin”) and the other was a cage containing some glowing thing.
“These objects are both very powerful and ancient. The lamp contains a genie and the cage contains a fairy. They will both grant you as many wishes as you want.” He then handed me the cage and the lamp and walked off.

Now, here comes the part when I do something stupid. Jacob and I kept walking home and Jacob started making comments about how he wanted as many wishes as he could have. I was hoping he’d stop talking about it, but he just kept going on and on. I was getting so annoyed that I eventually gave the lamp to him. The reason I chose the lamp was because there are several stories about genies who give rip off wishes with an ironic twist, but I’ve never read any stories about fairies giving rip off wishes.

When I got home, I went straight to my room to talk to the fairy. I was so excited.
When I got to my room, I said to the fairy, “Hi. Are you really going to grant me as many wishes as I want?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna grant as many stupid wishes as you want,” the fairy said. It’s voice was a lot lower than I thought it would be, but it was still a fairy that grants wishes.
“I wish I had a lot of money,” I said. Suddenly, a huge bag of money fell through the window. I saw a dark figure on the tree next to my house. The figure jumped off the tree and ran off. I then turned my attention to the money. I thought I was going to make a steal when suddenly, I heard sirens.
“Come out! Come out! You are under arrest!” I heard someone say.
I then grabbed the cage and said, “I wish I was safe from the cops.” The sirens stopped. I thought I could relax for a moment when the roof of my house was torn off. I looked up and saw a giant monster. The monster then threw my roof and picked me up. I noticed that the only reason the siren stopped was because the monster stepped on the police car. I felt like an idiot.
“I wish I had superpowers!” I said, but instead of getting cool powers, I instead got the ability to make my eyes pop out of my head. Luckily I was able to put my eyes back in their sockets before the monster dropped me. I thought this was going to be the end when I felt someone grab me. It was Jacob! He had muscles and even a costume he then flew me to a roof-top and set me down.
“Thanks bro.” I said.
“Anytime, bro.” said Jacob.
“Oh, by the way, how’d you get super powers, anyway?”
“That genie gave me them. He’s really cool. He gave me a ton of cash and a new big screen TV. Well, I’m off to save some more lives.”

I spent the next hour in shock. I thought genies gave rip off wishes, but the fairy did. So next time you have to decide between a genie or a fairy, go with the genie.