Southern Constellations | Teen Ink

Southern Constellations

February 26, 2015
By holding-onto-nothing BRONZE, Morro Bay, California
holding-onto-nothing BRONZE, Morro Bay, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"sometimes you gotta fall before you fly" -who are you now by sleeping with sirens


     “Do you think there actually is a man on the moon?”
     Jay was always saying nonsense, questioning everything. I wish he would stop talking and just enjoy the silence that we shared, sit still and watch the stars.
     We’d been best friends for as long as I could remember; it’s as if he’d been the same person since he was seven. On one hand, he just needs to grow up, I mean, when you’re fifteen don’t you already know all the answers to life’s questions? It feels like that to me sometimes. On the other, well, I don’t know I guess it’s that we’re so close and I’m starting to think of us as mo...
    “Fiona?”
    Oh, right, spacing out again.
    “Umm… probably not. But you never know.” I replied offhandedly.
     I blame my inattentiveness on the stars. It’s strange how after all these years, after all the summers we spent together in the field behind our houses, our field, that the stars could captivate me for so long. It seemed like there was one hundred million twinkle lights in neon blue just strung across the sky. Then there’s the moon, which, in the darkness of the woods near the ocean where we lived was the only source of light illuminating the dim space. It’s dazzling, and honestly I don’t think he sees it that way anymore.
     “Right. We should probably get going.” At first I didn’t quite hear his comment. Or listen, really.
     “What? Oh. It feels so early, but whatever.” I yawned, and with one final glance at the stars, I stood, stretching my legs. It was cold, and my lips were numb as we walked down the path that led to the area between our fences.
     “See ya tomorrow Fi,” Jay whispered. He turned and walked through his gate as I stepped through my back door.
???
     I sat bolt upright in my bed, startled from another sleepless night. Glancing around my room, I checked my surroundings.
     “Oh good, it was only a dream.” I sighed. Another lonely night.
     I wish she were here with me right now, my internal voice whispered.
     I knew that I spend too much time with Fiona, but she’s as close to a best friend as I have, and now I don’t know what’s going on between us. But that dream was so surreal.
???
     It felt as if I was cloaked in the black void of night itself. I was alone, except for a single star in front of me. As I reached out to touch it, there was a flash, and I woke up. But it was so weird, because once I did it felt like I wasn’t even sleeping.
     As I turned over and flipped the covers off of my bed, I gasped as the same dazzling light blinded me, and a wave of panic washed over me.
     Oh no, what am I going to do?
???
    Sometimes in life, when you’re close enough to a person, a sixth sense inside you can tell when something’s wrong. I ceremoniously leaped out of bed, pulled on a clean t-shirt and jeans, and checked myself in a mirror. A quick brush yanked through my chocolate brown hair later, and I was sprinting out my door.
     “Jay, what happened?” I yelled as I burst into his house, not even bothering to knock.
     “Fiona?”
     He sounded scared.
???
    Great, just what I needed. Fiona intruding in the early hours of the morning, probably waking my parents up. They’re used to her being here, but it was too early for chaos. Not to mention I definitely didn’t want to tell them I had a star in my room.
     Is that what it is?
     Yeah, I think it’s a star. I still can’t believe it. There were so many unanswered questions I had, but I think I knew what I was going to do with it.
    “Jay? What the heck is going on?” My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a frazzled looking Fiona trampling down the hall through my bedroom door. I quickly shoved the star under my covers, hiding it from view. If you looked closely enough, the blanket seemed to glow and shimmer a little.
     Wow, her eyes are brighter green than that star.
     Really? I mentally slapped myself for making such a cheesy comment in the middle of such dire circumstances. I gave her a lopsided grin, standing up and crossing my arms defensively.
     “Hey, don’t you think it’s a little early to be barging through my bedroom door?”
     “Dude? Don’t even play with me right now, I know something’s up. The question is, what happened and how bad is it?”
     Dangit, she always sees right through me.
     I glanced out my window, trying to think of excuses. No point in lying to her.
     “Can I talk to you outside for a second?”
???
      The rain was falling like shattered pieces of glass from the sky. The moody atmosphere didn’t help the fact that I was super worried about what was going on. As I sat down on his front porch, Jay took a deep breath before sitting down next to me.
     “I’ve been having dreams lately. Nightmares. No big deal, except when I woke up this morning there was a star in my room with me.”
     He then pulled the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen out of his jacket and handed it to me. It seemed to absolutely radiate in the darkness of the rain, like it sucked all the energy and color out of the world and condensed it into a small space. As I picked it up, it glowed in my hand. I don’t get it. Why would he give this to me? He still thinks we’re just friends. I’m starting to wonder if he feels the same way about me as I do to him.
???
     I still don’t know why I gave it to her. Maybe now that she has it, there will be no conflict, no problem to deal with. Maybe we could just let this one take care of itself.
???
     I woke up the next day the same way I had the past few days, like I hadn’t even slept. A creeping feeling snuck it's way into the pit of my stomach.
    It was just a dream. Might have been a really scary dream, but a dream nonetheless.
    I was somewhere dark again, except a dull landscape panned out before me. In the distance of the void, I saw a swirling mass of blue and green.
    The moon. I’m on the moon.
    Except this time I didn’t feel alone.
     “You took it.” It whispered, challenging me.
     I turned and there he was. A boy, around twelve, was standing behind me. But it was weird, it seemed like he… belonged here.
    “Took what?” I tried to sound nonchalant.
    Of course… the star.
    ???
     I’ve got to find her.
     I woke up in my bed again. Glancing at my clock, it was nine in the morning. Racing to Fiona’s house, I knocked on her door. Her mom let me in.
     “Fiona should be in her room,” she replied wearily. She looked as tired as I felt.
     “Fi?” I opened her door.
     Nothing, except the star sitting delicately on her nightstand. It’s bright light winked at me, taunting me. I grabbed it and raced out of her house, tripping in the street, slightly cracking my glasses.
     Where could she be?
     Of course, the field!
        As I appeared into the clearing, a massive cloud of fear hit me as I saw a tangled mass of brown hair lying up ahead.
    “Fiona!”
     No reply. I turned her head and checked for a pulse. She was cold, and her face was pale. Falling to the ground, I sobbed into her shoulder.
“NO!”
     I couldn’t do anything. She was gone.
     The rest of the day went by in a blur. I stumbled home and into my room. I wouldn’t eat, couldn’t think straight. So I wrote.

you died in California by the sulfur and the sea
well, I guess I never should’ve loved you
but I do forever ‘cause you loved me
and I break my glasses as I fall in the street
if you were gonna leave this world, how could it be without me?
now it’s all over my tongue and still it has no taste
'cause without you, there is no me

     By the time I was done, it was dark outside. In a last ditch effort to save my sanity and get her back, I set the star next to me as I lay down in wait for what should’ve been a peaceful sleep.
???
     By now, the barren landscape had become familiar to me as I saw the boy in the distance. The star was in my hand as I sprinted towards him.
     “Take it back!” I shouted, throwing the star. As soon as it hit the boy, there was a flash.
???
     We were in our field, the dawn casting a blanket of light over the landscape when I finally awoke, only to have Jay’s gray blue eyes hovering over mine.
     “You’re alive!” he gasped, hugging me.
     “Finally, this nightmare is over.”


The author's comments:

this was inspired by the songs southern constellations/ the boy who could fly by pierce the veil.


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