Breaking Up is Hard To Do 
Inspired by Margaret Atwood

Nora meets Clay. Clay meets Nora. 

A. Nora and Clay meet at a sushi bar. This is a blind date. Nora is in grey pant suit; Clay is in tan sweater. They bond over their love for spicy tuna rolls and sake bombs. The meal is fine. Nora sleeps with Clay. His bed sheets are tan. They spend 6 tolerable months together. Eventually, Clay and Nora buy a house and adopt a dog.* They never name the dog. One Tuesday night, sitting in their new grey bed sheets and tan pajamas, Nora and Clay decide they’re  bored. They breakup. Clay keeps the dog.

B. *Continuation of A: Clay becomes a hairdresser and is actually gay. Ronaldo (Clay’s assistant stylist) and Clay elope to Spain. Nora moves on, the dog runs away.

C. *Continuation of A: Their dog gets rabies and bites Clay and Nora. They die. They were never meant for each other anyhow.

D. Nora and Clay spot each other on a cruise and instantly fall in “love”. Filled with tiny umbrella-ed caloric drinks and long kisses, they spend a passionate fourteen days together in the Tahitian sun, while dancing to the Polynesian drum beat. They talk about how they have finally found “the one” and stare dreamily into each others eyes. Once the cruise is over, however, and the alcohol wears off, Nora breaks up with Clay under the bright florescent lights of the flight arrival - departure board.

E. Older version of Nora, crushes on young version of Clay, who is only twenty three. He is a surfing instructor. Clay teaches Nora. Clay is dating Stephanie who is having an affair with a richer, more sophisticated version of Clay. Clay comes home from his job early one day. The waves weren't big enough that day in Malibu. Stephanie gets caught with the better version of Clay in between his grey sheets. Clay kicks Stephanie out. Nora calls Clay. Clay never calls Nora back. There is no Nora and Clay in this story.

F. Clay is the CEO of a venture capitalist firm and Nora is his junior associate. Nora started working with Clay at the age of 26, right out of graduate school. She went to Yale. Nora was bright, beautiful and bodacious and landed the job immediately. Clay says he hired her for her brains but people in the office suspected otherwise. Their relationship is strictly business…for now. Clay lives in the suburbs with his two children, wife, and dog.  They're all blonde. Clay works from 9 to 5 and takes regular vacations with his family. They visit his parents in London on the holidays and spend their summers on the of Martha’s Vineyard. Their large to medium-sized brick house is surrounded by a white picket fence and neatly planted patch of daisies. Their Christmas cards are never a day late. Pretty picture perfect if you ask me. Leslie (Clay’s assistant) allegedly reports talk of divorce.
       
Four months later Clay gets a divorce and Nora is looking for a promotion. Nora needs something a little more hands on and believes she is qualified for more. One night, she stays late at the office. Coincidentally, Clay does too. He offers to buy them Chinese take out.  However, they do a little bit more than Chinese that night.**

It only takes Clay 2 months to realize Nora was just a phase.
He returns to his family in time for the yearly christmas card.

G. **Continuation of F: They date for six months. Clay goes on a business trip to Milan and never returns. Nora assumes he met someone else. After a month of silence, Nora receives a hallmark postcard addressed to her in the mail. The card read, “Thanks for the sex!”. Nora is now jobless, single and never gets promoted.

H. Nora is a:
(a) florist 
(b) architect
(c) ear doctor
(d) bank consultant
   Clay is a:
(a) surfer
(b) author
(c) painter
(d) hairdresser
Clay and Nora date. But it doesn't really matter what they are because they will still breakup. 
Just remember, Clay and Nora will never be together.
They will always breakup.

However, the dog in story A lives the most fulfilling life and joins the circus.