The Guardian






Chapter 1:







Glimpse (part 1 of 25)


Slightly leaning over the iron balcony railing, I stared into the sky, the early nightfall's twinkle catching my eye. Night was my favorite time. Where I could fully examine the horizon, with nothing to interrupt my focus. The mystical sounds of crickets chirping, balanced with the cool, early summer breeze against my skin, whisking along the kingdom of Hyrule. Past the vast hills of the horizon was the moon; almost full it glowed, lighting the valley. My attention focused on the ocean of stars, never alone or to themselves, unlike me. They had something to count on. Something to shine their very best for. I never felt like I had something to count on, or someone to shine for...But it would be nice.
People around me would try to accept me for who I was, but it was clear that they knew something about me I didn't'Something that must have happened when I was younger, because I cannot remember the world from my eyes as a child. I wish I could just go back to that chapter where I could believe everything and know nothing at all, to fill the ravine in my soul, connecting the gap. Maybe if I knew the truth of my past I could fully understand why I do not belong. A feeling deep inside of me always whispers to me, telling me that I do not belong here...That it was never my destiny to become the princess of Hyrule, that the grass could really be greener on the other side of the kingdom wall, which was kind of a state of fact because all the kingdom is, is winding cobblestone paths lined with shops and little cottages, zigzagging up the hill to the castle and the stables behind it.

Being the princess of this kingdom is never complicated or fun. Mainly, all I had to do was show up and I received praise. For what? I KNEW I wasn't related to king Sebastian or queen Marilee, but they treated me as if I were'. Only behind open doors'. and never the closed. Is it all fake, is every one wearing a mask, trying to act like I belong'like I was TRULY royal'. I never believed so. I couldn't be.

I leaned dangerously farther over the balcony, my purple silk nightgown catching the wind, flowing with it as it picked up speed, now gently blowing the tree beside the balcony my way. Removing my focus from the stars, I began to cry. The tears burned, as they trickled down my face gracefully dropping onto my hands, loosely gripping the rough iron railing. Sometimes, but always too much, I wanted to jump. To end it all, my crimson regrets, and worries, to pool in the cracks of the cobblestone paths, never more a problem, or a weight bearing down on my soul, keeping me in the shadows'But here in reality, I try to kill my pains, crying, screaming on the inside'the trench in my life way too deep for passers to hear anything but my puppet'acting on others comments, never to speak its mind, as if everything is ok. It's never ok. Never EVER ok.
Shaking out of the image of jumping, I felt as if I could. I felt that maybe if I jumped, my soul would soar, skipping the dying, with excitement to be free at last. Not remembering the voices, I grip the rail, the tears blurring my vision. I looked down at the steep drop to the ground, hearing it deeply chuckle, swatting it's long arms at me, craving to pull me down and make me a part of it. I stiffened my arms ready to swing my legs over, as I could remember what my only mission was. The ground grew silent, and the way things should be faded in. My stomach churned, and I began to shake. 'No'not yet'' I managed to say in a deprived choke.


Swallowing hard, I heard that voice, so small but large in its own ways. 'Selyna'Selyna'' it mourned in a begging tone. I wiped my face with my arm, slowly backing up from the railing, the urge to jump slowly disappearing. Turning my back at the rail I walked slowly into my room, back into the captivity of what I call, an unexplainable hell. I sat on the edge of my bed, its warmth trying to suck me in. Looking at my pillow, I reached under it and pulled out a necklace. My heart fluttered. Grasping gently in my hands, I stood back up, moving my strait auburn hair to put it on. I went to the mirror, to examine it on me. Once again I felt somewhat like the necklace and I had a connection. Not like love. Like we were on the same page' Like it also didn't belong. I always thought, that this necklace, polished with beauty, held my past.
Sighing off my thought, as true as I believed it could be, I returned to the balcony, my hand pressing the necklace on my chest. Anything' just ANYTHING is what I will give up just to find my true belonging, where my being can find peace and solidarity. I always felt empty and vacant, like no one cared to listen to my helpless cries for love or comfort'I am alone'it may not seem like it to many'but they will never listen'nobody ever listens'