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THEODOR
(Theodor is sitting at a booth a The Acorn Cafe with his back to the wall facing the rest of the cafe. He tapped his cane on the floor while eyeing the lion tattoo on his ring finger, admiring how the dark ink looked against him albino skin. Then Eli walked in.)
THEODOR- Hey over here! (He says in his British accent, sounding nervous.)
(Taking a deep breath Eli began to walk towards him.)
ELI- Hey, how’s it going?
THEODOR- Same as usual, you? (He said going in for a hug.)
ELI- Oh you know, having shoots outside in direct sun has somehow made me get even more black than I already was. Did you order yet? (Eli chuckles while looking down at his dark complexion.)
THEODOR- Not yet, I was waiting for you.
ELI- Okay well, It’s on me today. Do you want the usual?
THEODOR- I can pay for my damn things. (His face turning red with anger.)
ELI- (Stuttering.) Of course. I know.
THEODOR- Sorry I just...Sorry
ELI- I know. You’re okay. (He puts a hand on Theodor’s shoulder.)
THEODOR- I’m sorry. Yes, I’ll take my usual. Thank you, Eli.
(Eli goes to the counter to order their coffee. Two sugars for him. Black for Theodor.)
ELI- Okay, here we are. I still don’t understand how you drink it black. That’s nasty. (Eli says as he comes back with the coffees, setting them on the table.)
THEODOR- It’s coffee. I want it to taste like coffee. Not be contaminated with frilly things such as sugar.
ELI- Nah, see sugar is the best part. I like mine sweet.
THEODOR- Yeah. Sweet, just like you. (Theodor’s face instantly turns red in disbelief that he just said that, and Eli blushes and looks down at his coffee.)
THEODOR- (Theodor clears his throat) Well, uh, I do apologize for my temper.
ELI- I know. It’s okay Theodor. I understand, but you know me. You know I’m not trying to give you charity.
THEODOR- I’m aware. I’m just still so accustomed to people’s pity.
ELI- I know it was hard when your parents… passed but it's fine now. You’re okay
THEODOR- Yes, I know that Eli. (Theodor sighs.)
ELI- Yeah. okay so uhh...
(Theodor looks around nervously.)
THEODOR- Well, there’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now and I’m wondering... Well… if you’ve been thinking the same thing.
ELI- ...okay? And what you been thinkin’?
THEODOR- It’s about our relationship.
ELI- Okay. What about it?
THEODOR- I would like to see you more. Outside of the studio.
ELI- Okay…
THEODOR- In a different situation.
ELI- Different situation?
(Theodor takes a minute to collect his thoughts.)
THEODOR- I would like to further our relationship.
ELI- Okay, you gotta talk like a normal person because I think I understand but I’m not sure and I don’t wanna sound dumb if I say it.
THEODOR- I would like to be your boyfriend.
(Theodor starts to blush, but never breaks eye contact with Eli.)
ELI- Yeah, that uh that would be cool. (Eli finally has to break eye contact and look away to control his excitement.)
THEODOR- Okay. I suppose that’s settled then.
ELI- I guess it does.
THEODOR- Now that's out of the way, how is your coffee?
ELI- Better than usual. Yours? (Eli says smiling.)
THEODOR- I believe mine’s better today as well. (His uneven smile growing bigger.)
ELI- I knew you liked sweet things. (He says this under his breath)
(Theodor hears a sudden loud pounding, waking him from his daydream.)
CLIVE- Man, what the hell are you doing in there? (Eli’s brother yelled at Theodor through the door.)
THEODOR- Jesus! Nothing. What do you want?
CLIVE- Geez man, calm down. You got a wedding to get ready for. Now, get your ass out here.
THEODOR- Alright, I’m coming. (Theodor gets up from his ivory desk and looked at himself in the mirror preparing himself for a day he never thought would come.)
GROOMSMEN- AYE! There he is! (Eli’s brothers and cousins shout when Theodor comes out of his room.)
THEODOR- Alright relax. I need to get dressed.
CLOUS- Nah you need to fix that hair first. You wear it in that dumb man-bun every day. You gotta do something special with it today. Even Eli is doing his hair. (Eli’s cousin teases.)
THEODOR- Eli is bald. (Smiling at the thought of his soon to be husband.)
CLIVE- OH! See that smile?? Told y’all he had feelings. (He and the other groomsmen laughed while Theodor shoots them a scowl.)
THEODOR-… Do I need to do something to my hair?
GROOMSMEN- YES! (They shouted.)
THEODOR- Alright. Well, how should I style it?
CLIVE- Curl it!
CLOUS- Shave it!
KINICKY- Get a perm!
GARRET- Braid it!
FLORIAN- Do dreads!
(All the groomsmen continued to simultaneously shout out frivolous ideas for Theodor’s hair.)
THEODOR- How about I just straighten it?
CLOUS- (Sighs.) Yeah, that’ll work.
(Theodor and half of the groomsmen go back to the room to help get him ready while the other half of groomsmen go to Eli’s room to help him.)
THEODOR- Christ! Do you need to touch me that much while you’re doing this?
CLIVE- Dude. I’m doing your hair I’m gonna have to touch your head. Chill.
THEODOR- Right.
CLIVE- Yeah. I just gotta straighten one more piece then you’ll be done.
(Clive finishes straightening Theodor’s hair and Theodor looks at himself in the mirror, his hair fell just above his shoulders.)
THEODOR- Thank you.
CLOUS- Wow, did you hear that?
CLIVE- Yeah, I didn’t even think that word was in your vocabulary.
THEODOR- You don’t know the half of my vocabulary.
CLOUS- Oooo!
THEODOR- Be quiet and get my suit.
(Clous walks over to the closet and gets out Theodor’s pure black suit along with a pink pastel tie.)
THEODOR- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?? (Theodor screams and his face turns red with fury when he sees the tie.)
CLIVE- Your new tie (Clive and Clous start laughing.)
THEODOR- No. Where is my black one?
CLOUS- That’s racist.
THEODOR- No. It’s not. Do you even know what that means?
CLOUS- God! You can’t even take a joke.
THEODOR- (Sighs.) Where is my tie?
CLIVE- It’s right here. Geez. We were just messing around. You need to relax, it’s just a wedding.
CLOUS- Yeah, and you guys will probably end up divorced anyway.
THEODOR- Clous, I will shoot you.
CLIVE- Okay, Okay. We’ll leave you to get dressed.
(Clous and Clive start laughing as they leave the room)
THEODOR- Finally. (Theodor mutters under his breath and begins to get dressed. The pure blackness of the suit made his albino skin somehow look even paler.)
(Two hours later everyone and everything is ready and Theodor is waiting to walk down the aisle.)
CLIVE- You nervous? (He asks standing behind Theodor.)
THEODOR- Never. (Just as Theodor says this the music cues and it’s time for him to walk down the aisle.)
CLOUS- Hey you made it. (Clous whispers to Theodor once he and the rest of the groomsmen find their spots after following Theodor down the aisle.)
THEODOR- Oh my god. Hush up. Here he comes. (Theodor whispers back as the doors open once again and Eli begins to walk down the aisle.)
CLIVE- Holy shit. (He says in shock as he sees Eli in a crisp white suit. No one had ever seen him in anything other than jeans.)
ELI- Hey. (He says softly to Theodor as he finally takes his spot at the altar)
THEODOR- Hey hun, you ready? (He replies looking Eli up and down with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.)
ELI- Oh yeah, I’m ready. (They both turn to look at the officiant.)
MATILDA- Friends, family, and acquaintances, we join here today to celebrate the beautiful and unexpected love between Theodor and Eli. Now, I believe you two wrote your own vows?
(Eli and Theodor both nod.)
MATILDA- Okay. Theodor, take it away.
THEODOR- I want to be your husband. I want this freely, willingly, passionately, and madly. I love you and I wish to spend my life giving to you and for you. I give you myself today. All I am and all I hope to be, all of my hopes and aspirations. I give to you. I do not do this as a reluctant act of surrender, but because in giving to you I find myself fulfilled. And I promise not only to give myself but to willingly receive what you offer: your goals, dreams, the castles you have built in the air, your pain as well as your joy. I am willing and eager to receive and accept you and to offer myself for your acceptance and love.
(Everyone is silent except for the shocked gasps from the guests who had never heard Theodor so much as utter anything even remotely positive. Let alone actually talk about his feelings, most people didn't even think he had any. Even Alphonso, Theodor and Eli’s chihuahua were shocked. )
ELI- Okay, wow. I love you. Okay, give me a second. (Eli says so choked up by his tears that he can barely talk.)
ELI- Okay. In one movie, the character played by Tom Cruise discovers who he really loves. He tells them “You complete me.” As he continued pouring out his heart, begging them to join him, the object of his love stopped him and told him to stop. That he had them at hell-
LYDIA- Stop! Please for the love of God stop! (Eli’s mother suddenly stands up and screams.)
(The guests gasp in horror, Alphonso peed in fright as Eli and Theodor grabbed on to each other’s hands as they stare at Eli’s mother.)
LYDIA- I tried, but I can’t. I can’t let you do this. Eli, you are a photographer, an artist. How could you love someone whose main goal is to rob the community of such things?
ELI- Mother! You don’t know what’s best for me anymore. I do. So, if you’re not going to be supportive you can leave.
(Lydia stares in disbelief over what her son just said to her and without another word, she turned and walked out of the wedding.)
ELI- Now, where were we?
(The rest of the wedding went on without a hitch, they celebrated long into the night, Alphonso met a poodle and fell head over paws in love, and Theodor and Eli were off to their honeymoon the next morning. As far as they were concerned, their lives couldn’t get more perfect than they were that night.)
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