(Olivia, Brianna, and Mrs. Wright All run into each other at the farmers market)

Brianna: Ow my gosh! Olivia Johnson! Minnie Wright! It's so great to see you!

Olivia: Haaay! Brianna Roberts! I haven’t seen you in forever!

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: I know right! It’s been way too long!

Brianna: So, how’s life?

Olivia: Ow my gosh, you would not believe the nonsense I have to go through! My husband has been talking back to me constantly! It’s like he wants to make his own dinner.

Brianna:  Ow you think that’s bad! My husband leaves the toilet seat up ALL the time! He doesn’t even put the toilet paper on the roller and leaves the empty ones all over the place.

Olivia: Ow you think that’s bad! My husband leaves the cupboards open all the time. It makes the house look like a victim of burglary!

Brianna: Ow you think THAT’S bad! Mine moved my hair curlers, and claims someone stole it!

Olivia: That’s nothing! Mine got a dog and didn’t tell me. He then expected ME to take care of it while he went on a weekend fishing trip the next day!

Brianna: Well mine took the children to the mall, rented an entire ice cream stand, then brought them home for me to deal with!

Olivia: You don’t even know! I sent him to the CVS to pick up some cough drops and HE came back with deodorant, hershey's kisses, and a lifetime supply of orange juice!

Brianna: Well MINE got drunk on the weekend when we were supposed to have my family over for dinner!

Olivia: You think that’s bad! He spent all the money that we had saved for date nights on gas station lottery tickets. 

Brianna: Pffffft. Mine traded our pick-up for baseball cards and now we have to ride a tandem bike to the grocery store!

Olivia: uhh… well, mine forgot to pay our electricity bill this month, so.. Ha!

Brianna: Oh really?! Well, well, mine um… uh, let the neighbors cat into the house and didn’t tell me! Not to mention that my son Timmy is deathly allergic to cats!

Olivia: My husband brought.. Well my husband did.. Um.. Minnie! Who has the worst husband?

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Well, I guess they both sound pretty bad, but selling the car is probably worse. Well, so is spending all that money on lottery tickets. Maybe you should talk to someone about these issues. But honestly, if you two knew what I went through with my husband you’d have absolutely nothing to complain about!

Brianna: So… what happened?

Minnie: He kept me shut up inside all day long, told my friends I didn't like them anymore, and killed my canary!

Olivia:  What did you do about it?

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Uhm, well, I guess, let’s just say that I fixed the problem and we never had another disagreement. My life’s a whole lot easier now!

Olivia: I want that! How do I get rid of my problems?

Brianna: Me too! What is this magical fix all solution?

(*Enter shoulder devils behind cardboard bush)

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Well, um you see, (studder)

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Hey Minnie! It's me! Tell them that you sent him to the lake to "swim with the fishes" for a couple of days. And maybe he didn’t come back up to the surface after looking for his scuba mask.

Emily (Devil #1): Naw! You should tell them that pesticides are really cheap these days and are readily accessible.

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: What? Ugh! Just shut up! You guys only make my problems worse!

Olivia and Brianna: Excuse me!?!

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Sorry, just a really annoying mosquito.

(Olivia and Brianna “talk with each other about the “magical fix all solution”)

Look, I know you guys have personal beefs with husband issues, but this is definitely not the time to intervene. Please keep your opinions to yourselves!

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Tell them to take a private jet and push their husband out of the plane without a parachute!

Emily (Devil #1): No! That’s ridiculous, who can afford a private jet?!? Tell them instead to slip some moth balls into their drinks.

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: They don't want to get rid of their husbands!

Olivia: Sometimes I feel like it!

Emily (Devil #1): See!

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): But anyways, moth balls float! He’s not blind, he would notice! Instead, tell the ladies to become train drivers. And tell them to send their husbands to pick flowers in the middle of the train tracks.

Emily (Devil #1): Train tracks? They would hear the train from miles away and for sure be able to move in time. They should instead take them on a tour of a chemical factory and just “forget” to ask for an extra gas mask. 

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): We all have been wearing masks for over a year idiot! He’s not gonna forget once he starts hacking up a lung. You should drill some holes in the bottom of his speed boat before his fishing trip and watch him sink!

Emily (Devil #1): You pea brained unintelligent baboon! Who doesn’t double check their boat before they leave? Tell them to infuse their next meal with copious amounts of apple seeds.

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): You wack-a-doodle, moronic, tree hugging fig-headed newt! That'd never work!

Emily (Devil #1): Fig-headed newt? What kind of insult is that? Sounds like something a simple minded, knuckledraggin sasquatch would say!

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Are you always so stupid, or is today a special occasion?! I think it just might be, other than the day you killed your husband and then, well, I don't know if I can even say what happened next!

Emily (Devil #1): You glue-sniffing, playdough-eating, daughter of the devil! You died of grief when your husband came home alive after he was supposed to be dead!

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Hang on a second. What does that even MEAN?!? Actually, I don't even want to know.

Olivia: What's that Minnie?

(*Minnie pulls out cell phone and pretends to be on a call when talking to devils)

Oh, you’re on the phone, ok.

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Oh yeah you…

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Enough with the name calling, you guys are so rude and immature! Isn’t there an angel I can talk to around here?

(*2 friends look at Minnie)

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Sorry, uh, I’m still on the phone, one sec.

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): You know, I used to be one, but I got let go.

Emily (Devil #1): Louise? Let go? When did this happen? Because regardless of when it did, it should have been done a lot sooner.

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Oh, come on Emily! You can do better than that! You can’t talk, and it’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one whole sentence! 

Emily (Devil #1): I could eat a whole pot of alphabet soup and spit out a more intelligent sentence than that!

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): You know? Someday you’ll go far, but for now I hope you stay right there!

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: I’m still here you know, and the only reason you’re supposed to be here is to help me. Which you’re failing miserably at by the way! I need actual advice not petty bickering and name-calling. If you two can’t get your acts together I’ll start praying!

Olivia: Petty bickering?! Now who's calling people names? You still haven’t given us any logical advice!

Brianna: Ya, how do we solve our problem? You’re the one who needs to get their act together. We’d better start praying because it will be a whole ordeal otherwise!

Emily (Devil #1): Woah! Calm down, let’s not get too holy here, you do know who we work for, right?

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): You know Emily, I'll never forget the first time we met. But I will surely keep trying!

Emily (Devil #1): Don’t you get tired of putting make-up on your two faces every morning?

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Do you ever stop ranting?! There are 24 hours in a day you know! Spend the other hours talking somewhere else!

Emily (Devil #1):  Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

(Mrs. Mallard) Louise (Devil #2): Oh yea, well maybe someday you’ll…

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: Enough!!! Just STOP TALKING!!! If I wanted to talk to you guys I would've started this conversation!

Olivia: Well I never…Hay! I got an idea! What if we “talk” to our husbands about our problems? They say communication is key to success.

Brianna: Great idea! I’ll go home and talk to him right now! Maybe that'll take care of everything! Thanks Minnie!

Olivia: Thanks Minnie, you're a lifesaver!

(*2 friends leave)

Devils: Our work here is done!

(*2 devils leave)

(Mrs. Wright) Minnie: If they only knew how easy they have it. They should learn to appreciate what they have while it's still here. I hope they realize how important good relationships are & that violence never solves anything!

(*Minnie leaves)