Characters:

FATHER- An enthusiastic yet confused man in his 40s who is trying to spend some good, old-fashioned bonding time with his son.

SON- A fourteen-year-old boy who is dreading his father’s attempt to connect with him on a fishing trip.       

(FATHER is on a small boat with his teenage SON, teaching him how to fish.)

                                 FATHER
Now first, you pick up the fishing rod.

                                  SON
(sarcastic) No kidding.

                                  FATHER
(trying to laugh it off) Of course, of course. You know that. What am I saying?

                                  SON
Don’t ask me. I don’t know. I was the one who got dragged onto a disgusting boat.

                                  FATHER
Oh come on. Don’t be such a girl about it. (There is a palpable pause.)  You play sports, right?

                                   SON
So?

                                  FATHER
I think fishing is a type of sport and you play sports, so I thought you might be more open to this.

                                   SON
Yeah, but I don’t play with dead fish.

                                   FATHER
You’re such a city kid.

                                    SON
That makes sense.

                                    FATHER
Trust me, it’ll be fun.

                                     SON
That’s what Mom said.

                                     FATHER
Hate to break it to you, but your mother’s right.

                                     SON
If even you’re agreeing with Mom, then she must be right.  (Beat)

                                     FATHER
(ignoring SON’s comment)  So you see that bucket of guppies in the corner?

                                     SON
I’m not blind.

                                     FATHER
(positive) Great. Well son, you take one of the guppies and you push the hook through the eye.

                                      SON
Ew, Dad. Do you hear yourself?

                                      FATHER
(chuckling)  It’s not as bad as it sounds. They’re already dead. Can’t feel a thing.

                                      SON
It’s still gross.

                                      FATHER
Oh come on!

                                      SON
Listen, if you wanted to spend quality father son bonding time or whatever, then couldn’t we have just had lunch or something?

                                       FATHER
No. That’s too boring. Besides, how long does it take to go to a diner and grab a burger?

                                        SON
A decent hour.

                                        FATHER
That’s not enough time. I haven’t seen you in a while, buddy, and I’ve missed you. Heck, you’re almost taller than I am now.

                                        SON
(sardonically)  Yeah, I’ve grown since I was ten. That’s unbelievable.

(There is another uncomfortable pause.)

                                        FATHER
Why you gotta be like that?

                                        SON
Like what?

                                        FATHER
Like that.

                                         SON
Look, you’re lucky I even showed up today.

                                         FATHER
I know that.

                                         SON
Don’t forget it.
   
                                         FATHER
I won’t. And I appreciate it, son.

                                         SON
Son? Don’t call me son.

                                         FATHER
But that’s what you are to me, buddy.

                                         SON
Don’t call me buddy either. You haven’t seen me in four years. It’s not like that, okay?

                                         FATHER
All right. I get it. I’m sorry. (pause) You want to go back to fishing now? Please?

                                          SON
I don’t want to but I have nothing else to do here.

                                          FATHER
(optimistic) Then let’s get back to it. (beat) Now where were we?

                                           SON
You put the hook through its eye.

                                           FATHER
That’s right. So do you want me to teach you how to cast?

                                           SON
How to what?

                                           FATHER
You know what that is?

                                           SON
Nope.

                                           FATHER
You want me to teach you?

                                           SON
Not really, but I guess you can if you want to.

                                           FATHER
That’s cool, kiddo. Whatever you want.

                                           SON
Thanks.

                                           FATHER
First you’re going to put the hook with the bait on it over the side of the boat so it’s hanging just above the lake, and then you want to let a little bit of line out. Just count to five Mississippi and then stop.

                                           SON
Cool.

                                           FATHER
You want to try?

                                           SON
No thanks.

                                           FATHER
I brought two poles, you know.

                                           SON
Yeah, I know. It’s fine.

                                           FATHER
If you change your mind, don’t be shy. Just let me know.

                                           SON
Okay. (long, uncomfortable pause) What are we fishing for?

                                           FATHER
What do you mean?

                                           SON
What types of fish?

                                           FATHER
I don’t know. I’m no fisherman but I guess we’re catching whatever’s here.

                                            SON
What if we don’t catch anything?

                                            FATHER
Then we call it a day.

                                            SON
What if we do catch something?

                                            FATHER
We take a picture and throw it back out there.

                                            SON
We don’t eat it?

                                            FATHER
I don’t think the fish are big enough to eat around here.

                                            SON
Why can’t you just take the small ones?

                                            FATHER
Not enough meat on them.

                                            SON
Oh. But seriously, what if there’s absolutely nothing and we don’t even see a fish?

                                            FATHER
Then that’s fine. I told you it was. The main thing is to have a good time out here.

                                            SON
But the main point of fishing is to catch stuff. If we go back with nothing, then why else did we come out here? (beat) Never mind. So what do we do now?

                                            FATHER
Now we sit here and wait.

                                            SON
We sit and wait?

                                            FATHER
And talk. That’s the best part. The talking.

                                            SON
Of course you’d say that. (Yet another silence where you feel the space between the two of them.)

                                            FATHER
You know how I got the idea to take you out here this weekend?

                                            SON
I wonder.

                                           FATHER
I wanted to see you but I didn’t know what type of fun thing we could do together. So I was looking for ideas until your stepmom–

                                            SON
Really? That’s how you want to start the conversation? With Dana?

                                            FATHER
Sorry. I didn’t think it would matter.

                                            SON
It doesn’t. She’s probably just fine, but you called her my stepmom. I’ve never met this woman in my life.

                                            FATHER
Does it bother you that I call her that?

                                            SON
Yeah.

                                            FATHER
But why?

                                            SON
It’s the same as calling me “son” or “buddy.” You’re trying to create something that really isn’t there.

                                            FATHER
I’m doing everything I can to get close to you again.

                                            SON
We were never that close.

                                            FATHER
Yeah, we used to be before the divorce and all that.

                                            SON
No, we weren’t. I never hated you or anything but I didn’t really bond with you either.

                                            FATHER
Why do you keep shutting me down? I’m trying so hard right now.

                                            SON
I know. You’re pushing me away.

                                            FATHER
By trying hard?

                                            SON
No, by forcing it and pretending that nothing happened.

                                            FATHER
Nothing happened between us. You know that.

                                            SON
Seriously, Dad? You remember nothing?

                                            FATHER
Honest.

                                            SON
Whoa, there’s that much of a disconnect, huh?

                                            FATHER
What disconnect? Tell me.

                                            SON
I’m not gonna bring it up. Not here.

                                            FATHER
I’m not that bad. I know you don’t believe me.

                                            SON
Because it’s not true.

                                            FATHER
(turning red) It is true. It’s true and you know it. What’s that woman done to you? I know what she’s done to you. She’s told you a bunch of lies. It’s all lies.

                                            SON
Hey, Mom was the one that convinced me to come out here today.

                                            FATHER
(clenching his fists) Is that what she told you to say? Were you coached for this?

                                            SON
What the hell are you talking about? See, this is what you would do to me. You would ask me what my mother was telling me about you and talk s*** about her. You would never take me home when I was homesick, not once.

                                           FATHER
It was my time and you weren’t giving me a fair chance.

                                           SON
I was little. I was homesick. Didn’t you think that if you brought me home once then I would give you a chance?

                                          FATHER
If I brought you home once, then you would never come back.

                                          SON
But it was more than that. I would cry and shout and you would sit there coldly and say to me, “It’s my time. You’ll adjust.” And you would tell me to act my age or shape up. You would push me down on the floor and order me to stay.

                                         FATHER
I’ve told you that if I didn’t order you to stay, then I knew you would leave.

                                          SON
But you would hurt me and you wouldn’t care.

                                          FATHER
I never did anything to hurt you on purpose.

                                          SON
It’s sad because sometimes I think that you actually believe that you never tried to hurt me. Dad, you’re sick.

                                          FATHER
(clenching his teeth) I don’t care what they say. Any of them. Your mother, the doctors, or anyone else. They’re all wrong. They’re out to get me.

                                           SON
Yup, the whole world is wrong and you are the only one who’s right. Classic.

                                           FATHER
(yelling) THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

                                           SON
You know what, I knew this was a bad idea. I can’t believe I caved. Take me back.

                                           FATHER
No! No! Please! Can’t we keep fishing?

                                           SON
No, get me outta here. Let’s go back to the dock. Ms. Daniels is waiting for me.

                                           FATHER
Ms. Daniels, why’d they have to bring a supervisor anyway? Why can’t a decent man spend some quality time alone with his fourteen-year-old son? It makes no sense to me. Not to Dana either.

                                           SON
I don’t know Dana, but she probably doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into.
                     
                                           FATHER
She’s gotten herself into a relationship with an ordinary man. Is that not good enough? Well, clearly not for you.

                                           SON
Take me back to the dock. I don’t feel safe here and that’s exactly what I’m going tell Ms. Daniels if you don’t start heading back now.

                                           FATHER
Oh please! It’s not like I’m going to push you overboard or anything, goddammit. I don’t understand.

                                           SON
It’s either I’m swimming or you’re driving the boat. Take your pick.

                                           FATHER
You have clothes on. You can’t swim.

                                           SON
Sure I can. They only let you go out twenty feet, so I can do that in jeans. That’s not too hard.

                                           FATHER
Can you just give it one more chance?

                                           SON
I gave it a chance and now I regret it. I can’t believe I even came out here.

                                           FATHER
Please, son. (gets on his hands and knees) I’m begging you.

                                           SON
Stand up. And don’t call me son, for Christ’s sake. I told you before. I will leave myself or shout Ms. Daniels’ name at the top of my lungs if I have to, but I’m going back whether you like it or not.

                                           FATHER
No. We’re staying here until my three hours is up.

                                           SON
We aren’t on a timer. I never agreed to that.

                                           FATHER
She’s stolen you from me. She’s taken my son. 

                                           SON
That’s it. (shouts to offstage) MS. DANIELS! MS. DANIELS! MS. DANIELS!

                                           FATHER
All right, all right. Calm down. I’ll take you back.

                                           SON
That’s what I had to do so I did it.

                                           FATHER
Jesus, I didn’t think you’d actually scream her name. I thought you knew how to act your age.

                                           SON
(angrily) Shut up. You’re a pitiful little man and I never want to see your face again. Now drive the boat back to the dock.

                                           FATHER
Yeah, I know. I’m going. (FATHER walks to the front of the small boat to the steering wheel.)

                                           FATHER
Too bad there weren’t any fish in the water.

                                           SON
I knew we weren’t going to catch anything.

                                           FATHER
Maybe we didn’t because you didn’t have faith in this.

                                           SON
So what? Even if we did catch something, the fish out here are too small. You said so yourself.

                                           FATHER
It’s still something.

(They have their last awkward silence as FATHER starts to turn the boat back around.)

                                           FATHER
We should try this again sometime. I really do think you’d like fishing if you gave it a fair shot.

                                           SON
Maybe I’ll go fishing one day, Dad. Just not like this. Not with you.

(They exit on the boat. Lights out.)