Locked In | Teen Ink

Locked In

August 17, 2018
By lucasg BRONZE, Villanova, Pennsylvania
lucasg BRONZE, Villanova, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

     He didn’t remember much... He remembered his name, age and some miniscule details of his life before. As of the present, all he knew was that he was in some sort of coma or paralysis, he couldn’t move but his awareness, hearing and sense of smell all prevailed. He had full consciousness even though he was assumed to be pretty much in a vegetative state. No one was aware of his consciousness.

     The feeling of being trapped had proven to be the most frustrating obstacle he had faced in his entire life. Everyone was fully aware he had no control over his body, but no one could possibly imagine that he could still think like any normal person. No one knew his eyes shot open at random moments in the night. The visits from even his closest relatives were becoming more infrequent as life moved on for everyone around him. No one knew that he couldn’t confess what he knew, because he was locked in his own mind. Very people treated him like he was even alive, let alone able to think, or at least that’s what it felt like at this point. If only someone knew, he could tell them what he saw - something so disturbing was left hanging in the air, like the smell of oncoming rain before a major storm. Instead, he was locked away in his body like an innocent man in a maximum-security prison.

     His name was Jack Renalds, he was 28 years of age, and was born into a very successful family. He had learned from the talk of medical staff and visitors that he had been in a cataclysmic ski accident. Jack was found after an apparent fall from a steep, off-run trail. He was evacuated to a local hospital where he was placed on life support and hooked up to an array of complex machines and gadgets. As he improved somewhat, Jack was eventually taken off life support but remained in a coma, with the likelihood of his regaining consciousness slim and decreasing with each passing day.

     It had seemed to Jack that everyone had given up on him. Even the nurses seemed not to care. He didn’t blame them for not having sympathy for him, he was just another unconscious patient to them, but he expected them to at least have the decency not to belittle him as a person. They treated him like a juvenile, putting on children’s TV shows except when they themselves wanted to watch something specific. Each day, Jack relived the events that led to his injuries, there wasn’t much else for him to do, and each day was like he was dying all over again.

     Jack’s sister, Caroline, used to visit him often after the accident. Caroline felt guilty about the accident. It was her new marriage the family was celebrating, and she was skiing with Jack when the accident happened. She, too, would go through the events of the day wondering why it was Jack and not her who fell. After all, it was Caroline who wanted to go skiing off trail after she heard two skiers discussing how great it was, and is was she who another skier had seemingly skied right into, but it was Jack who went tumbling off the mountain.  As the months went on, Caroline’s visits became less frequent. She still had her job as CFO of the family business, and had also taken over Jack’s responsibilities as COO. Their parents would not dare hire a new COO in the hopes that Jack would one day return to work. Plus, Caroline was still a newlywed and had a new husband to take care of.

     It had been just another monotonous day at the hospital, the nurse who oversaw Jack at night was getting into position where she would scarcely move from for the next 12 hours. Janet, the main overnight nurse, would bicker with almost everyone and seemingly was working alone this night when in walked Christine, a nurse who was just hired to replace the last one Janet chased away.

     When Christine walked into the room, Jack felt like screaming. He tried to muster every muscle in his body to do something - his throat to scream, his eyes to bulge, his arms to flail or his legs to kick - but nothing would move. Instead, Jack laid there in utter shock. The sight of Christine with her red hair that fell in long curls around her shoulders, her piercing blue eyes and face covered with freckles, brought back a host of other memories Jack had not previously recalled. Christine was unmistakably one of the two skiers talking so loudly behind Jack and Caroline in the chairlift line about the off trail run that was so fun. Christine was the skier who was skiing right towards Caroline at the edge of the run before Jack pushed Caroline out of the way, leaving himself instead to get pushed off the edge of the trail. Why would Christine now be in Jack’s hospital room as his nurse?

     After Christine and Janet introduced themselves and went over each other’s responsibilities, Christine asked Janet about Jack’s family and when they came to visit. Janet had turned on the TV to “60 Minutes” which Jack knew meant it was Sunday, and Caroline would soon be visiting, as she always did every Sunday after dinner. Again, Jack tried everything he could to move his body or say something, but instead he continued to lie in his hospital bed completely trapped, locked inside his own body and mind.

     Caroline arrived shortly after this, greeting Janet and introducing herself to Christine, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Christine was on the mountain with her the day of the accident.  About an hour into Caroline’s visit, Janet excused herself from the room to get some medicine. Jack was agitated knowing that Caroline was now alone with Christine, and Caroline seemed to sense a change in his breathing. Caroline put her glass of water on the dresser next to where Christine was sitting, and moved her own chair closer to Jack’s side. As Caroline was distracted, quietly talking to Jack, Christine took a small pipet from her pocket and squeezed a mysterious liquid into the water. The water seemed to turn bluish for a second, then back to clear.

     Shortly after, Janet returned to the hospital room with Jack’s medicine, so Caroline stood up and moved out of the way. She walked back towards the dresser, picking up her glass of water to take a sip, and then fell almost instantly to the ground. Jack could hear a sudden commotion and a call over the hospital speaker of a “code blue”. Even with the relentless efforts of the hospital staff, Caroline shockingly couldn’t be saved.

     The next day while Jack’s family were making arrangements for the funeral, Jack received a surprise visit from Caroline’s husband, Peter. Peter didn’t seem the least bit upset by Caroline’s unexpected death. Peter leaned over, and whispered into Jack’s ear something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

      “I know you’re in there, and know what’s going on. It was supposed to be Caroline who died on the mountain. I guess you can call your sacrifice pointless, and I’m still going to get away with murder and all of Caroline’s money.”

     Then Peter turned and walked out into the hall, put his arm around a waiting Christine, and calmly walked away.


The author's comments:

Hi! I live outside of Philadelphia. I love music, creative writing and all sports especially soccer & lacrosse. I also enjoy hanging out with my friends.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 4 2018 at 10:06 pm
Hermione-Granger BRONZE, Bethel Park, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 198 comments
I did not see that twist at the end. Dang. This was amazingly well written, and Peter is kind of a jerk. But I like him and your story. They were AWESOME!!!!

Bern said...
on Aug. 26 2018 at 9:55 am
Bern, Havertown, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wonderful writing, Lucas! Your story is suspenseful and engages the reader immediately. I can't wait to read more from you!