“Emergency Notice! Emergency Notice! Sorry to interrupt this program but I would like to advise everyone to lock up. We have gotten word from the Grinell Prison that a male prisoner has escaped two hours ago. Do keep in mind that this man could be anywhere so take extra precautions even if you don’t live nearby. Keep your eye out for a man with pale skin, dark hair, and blue eyes, his name is Ernie Reynolds. He is very dangerous and very smart, he had only been in the prison for 2 days out of his 25 years to life sentence. Call the…” I turned the TV off when my girlfriend, Kayla Hail walks in.

“Honey, I know you’re tired and you just got back from your business trip, but will you please make me one of those grilled cheese sandwiches I love so much?” Kayla asked sweetly.

I said “yes” in the best tone I could manage, because I knew better than to argue, it’s never very fun when Kayla gets angry. It’s one of her less attractive attributes, but really, I didn’t mind, I would do anything for her. As I scanned the fridge for cheese, I thought about how wonderful it was to be home. I love being able to lay down on a real couch and letting my guard down and it was amazing to be able to eat in more than just a small ration. Then, I noticed that the string bracelet my wife made me was loose on my wrist. The blue and black string with “E.R.+K.H.=forever” sown on it tightened on my arm as I retied it, reminding me of just a couple of days ago when those two annoying—

Kayla interrupted my thoughts as she yelled, “Hey, after you’re done, want to watch the news or some television? I can make popcorn.”

“Uh, no that’s not a good idea why don’t we just talk and eat sandwiches and some of that cake you got me instead.” I stuttered.

“Alright, I guess.” Kayla said, less enthusiastically.

The weeks passed by and each day only got better, brighter, and more relieving. However, I still freak out a little every time Kayla picks up the remote control for the television or when the radio is turned on. “I don’t want my wife hearing about the prison break and because she doesn’t leave the house much and doesn’t have many friends there is no way for her to find out. I’m just being a good husband; she would surely dump me if she heard it. She doesn’t need to know. It would only mess things up. I’m lying to save our relationship.” I kept reassuring myself. But all that stuck was, “I’m lying. I’m lying. I’m lying.”

One sunny day, after throwing out the prison break article in the newspaper as usual, I let Kayla massage my shoulders, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and to my displeasure, it was the cops.

“Ernie what are the cops doing here?” Kayla asked.

Honestly, I had trouble answering the same question. How did they find me?