Have you ever been in-love? 

When I was fifteen I fell in-love with a boy. Now, some may say that is ludicrous, no fifteen year old can be in-love. But, I think they're wrong. I think a fifteen year old can be perfectly in-love--however, is a fifteen year old capable of differing puppy love from real, strong, grounded love? I was not able to, even though I might have thought I had it all figured out at the time. But as I sit here contemplating on life, I'm starting to realize just how little I knew and how wrong I was. Today I'm nineteen years old and I don't doubt that one day I'll be looking back on this very moment and realize that I'm just as naive as my fifteen year old self. Nevertheless, I'd like to think, or rather hope, that I've picked up a thing or two in the past four years.

Being in-love is great, it fills you with momentary joy that is addictive. You crave it. You need it. And when it's gone, you have withdrawals. When does the feeling of being in-love go away? When you breakup with someone? Maybe while you're still with them? Perhaps the feeling is simply fading, slowly, like the colors in a sunset- before it goes completely dark. Either way, one of the things I have learned is that the feeling does fade. It always goes away. And then you're left with either of two things; either, nothing, an emptiness- or you're left with love. 

--Being in-love is an exciting feeling. It comes with a yearning for someone- a feeling of not being able to be without one another. It's passion.

--Love is also not wanting to be without your significant other- but it also allows space between you and your partner, because you know that it is healthy with independence. Love is compassion and respect. Love is wanting the best for each other, no matter what the cost.

You may have noticed I included the word 'independence' in my explanation of love- that is because one of the lessons I learned from my first go at love and being in-love, was that dependence should not be mistaken for love. Being dependent on someone else in a romantic relationship is not a healthy relationship or a healthy way of being an individual. I got lost in my relationship. I was in denial about how dependent I was. I wouldn't listen to my parents or friends or even teachers when they tried to open my eyes to the despair that would hit me when everything inevitably fell apart.

I had lost myself in the making of an 'us'.

Today, I have a boy at my side once again. Two years after my first breakup and I'm finally ready to open myself to love again. Make no mistake, I will take my life lessons with me as I go through this relationship. I will not be fooled by the notion of being in-love or losing myself in this madness. But with this boy, it's not so easy to not fall. Every time I look at him, it's like we're the only two in the room. He gives me the same butterflies as he did the first time he looked into my eyes. He still makes my heart skip a beat whenever he tells me how much he loves me. He is my everything- and I've only known him for six months. 

I swore to never fall in-love again after my last breakup.... 

How naive of me. 

Hazel Grace from 'The Fault In Our Stars' said it best; "I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep, slowly at first, then all at once."