I was in eighth grade. He was the first boy I loved, well at-least I thought I loved. Josh was one of the sweetest guys Id ever met. For the first year we were together he was nothing less than amazing but after a rough patch we broke up. He cried. I missed him and did nothing except think of him and dream of him.

We got back together three weeks later. I've come to realize this was a huge mistake. Josh started blaming everything on me and telling me that I was pathetic.

One night he was upset with his parents and refused to tell me what happened because he said, "You think you can help but you really can't. Instead you just make everything worse. Not everything in the world is good or happy." I put up with it because I thought he just needed space and that this happened in relationships from time to time.

The longer we stayed together the worse it got. He began ignoring me to obsess over my best friend. A little while after that he set his sights on letting me know when I did something stupid.

One day a close friend of his, Chris, was “messing” with me, and I was terrified. Josh just sat there in-front of us and did nothing. Later I text-ed him and asked why he was upset. Apparently Josh thought I let Chris do that to me. That I wanted Chris to. I told him I didn't, he refused to believe me.

Not long after that Josh began yelling at me whenever he got the chance. This pushed me over the edge. I tried to overdose. It didn't work, I ran out of pills. I asked him if he would be upset if I did something really bad. He seemed concerned so when he asked what I did I told him.

“That's not that bad.” Was all he said. I finally broke down and cried. He kept talking to me less and less until we basically stopped talking all together. Then out of the blue he invited me over. Everything seemed to be going normal and I thought things we're finally going back to the way they used to be. After playing baseball for a little while I began to get hungry so I was looking though his pantry to find a quick snack.

I saw a big box of pills and without thinking I said, “Wow that's a lot of pills.”

He looked at me and asked, “Does that bring back bad memories?” Then he laughed, in my face. That hurt, a lot. It took another month of constantly being put down until I finally broke up with him, and stayed broken up.

I stood up for myself for the first time in my life, and it felt great. He still talks about me and tells people I cheated on him which is why we're broken up. It isn't true, but I let him have it. I told my friends how hard it was for me to let go and now whenever someone is trying bully me like Josh did they protect me by sticking up for me. They understand that it'll be a long time until I'll have the courage to stick up for myself again. Hopefully it wont be as long as I think.