Take the Lead | Teen Ink

Take the Lead

February 27, 2013
By Anonymous

My only escape from this world was cutting. It was a routine I had gotten used to. Wake up, go to school, come home, cut myself, and go to sleep. Each time I came home, I would cry in the bathroom and carve a new picture in my skin. Sometimes, I found it humorous. Like when I cut a smiley face on my thigh. Other times, like what happened recently, things were just the opposite.

I was coming home from school. I had a horrible day, again. People pushing me around, girls juding me from head to toe, the bullying never ends. I came home and went straight to the bathroom.

I grabbed the razor from the cabinet. It was my best friend. My razor would never leave me and would always help me. Tears ran down my face as the razor shook in my hand. There was no point in existing at the moment. I did not plan on cutting my vein, but my eyes were blurry, and I did.

All I could remember was seeing a lot of blood. And thinking what my mom was going to say when she came home. I was worried that she would yell at me and lock me up in an asylum for crazy people. I snatched a towel and covered my arm. I staggered and put my hand on the sink for support. Then, I blacked out.

The doctor said that I had lost so much blood that I fainted. Then, I hit my head against the sink and hurt my head. I had to get four stitches! He said I was lucky that my mom came home in time. If she didn’t come home… Well let’s just say I would not be writing this.

I want to share my story so that others know that cutting can lead to something ruthless. I understand you might not want to get help, but trust me, I wish I had gotten help sooner. I currently go to counseling two days a week and no longer cut myself! Bullying is really hard to deal with, but I wish it had not led me to cutting myself. I believe that if everyone works together we can end bullying. Don’t let them control you; take the lead in your life. The scars may be the there, but they only make you stronger.


The author's comments:
Cutting took over me. Don't let it take you too.

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