My mind was a wrecking ball;
It continually crashed at my heart.
Smashing, cracking, crushing-
It tore everything apart.

I felt an aching in my heart,
And ache that was always within me.
My mind was tearing me up,
Making me who they wanted me to be.

~

I wondered what it was like to know you’re dying,
To have a disease within you,
Knowing every breath you take may be the end,
To know what you’re coming to.

It must be aweful, a true wonder,
To know how much time you’ve got,
To know that you’re dying everyday,
While we all wake, pretending that we’re not.

The monster within me is causing a pain,
A pain I’m not sure I can bear,
For it kills me to know what I’ve got,
That there is no one left to care.

I believe I have a disease,
That I can count my time.
A disease special to me, and only me,
A disease that is only mine.

This wrecking ball I call my mind,
The one tearing me apart,
Is the disease I speak of,
And it’s infecting my heart.

Like a flower that’s died,
Left without water, sun, or air,
I am withered and broken,
Because I had no one that cared.

Like a wall with a large whole
From a punch full of hatred and anger,
It’s me, it’s me, it always has been..
I’m my own monster.

I have my demons within me,
Demons of my own,
I wish to send them off,
But the seed of self-hate has been sown.

This illness is like watching everyone around me breath,
While I continue to drown,
Everyone smiles and always laughs,
And my life is one continuous frown.

So the next time you’re looking around,
And feel the need to be mean,
Remember the people around you
Are not always what they seem to be.

I’m not the only one with this everlasting pain,
I’m not only one with a pain in my heart.
There are teenagers, adults, and children all over the world,
Who feel the need to tear themselves apart.

This wrecking ball within me,
It breaks me left and right.
And it breaks me to know others feel like I do,
That I’m not the only one who can’t sleep at night.

All that are broken,
None of us are the same,
Yet we all do one thing similar,
It’s ourselves that we blame.

I can’t find my place.
I’ve fallen from grace.
Given too much space,
I’m all over the place.

My feelings I hide.
I’m falling behind.
My dreams I can’t find,
I’m losing my mind.

I may seem to be strong to you,
I may seem like a concrete wall,
But little did you know,
My mind is a wrecking ball.