Reflecting back to when I was a child in elementary school, my life was full of challenges and obstacles. Most people believe that life is easier when you are younger because you do not have many responsibilities. When I was younger however I was continuously worrying about things that I could not control. For example, I would worry about what other people thought of me. I wondered if my peers accepted me. I felt the pressures of life begin to intensify at the mere age of nine. At this point in my life, I was sure that life would continue to be filled with increasing amounts of pressure and anxiety.

I can remember very vividly trying to sleep at night, but not being able to. I would just lie awake worrying about school and my friends. Reflecting upon my elementary school years, I believe that it was a very important time to grow in self- confidence and self-awareness. During my fourth grade career, my self- confidence that was beginning to develop was shattered each time I walked into the classroom. I was called names and not accepted socially with some of my classmates.

Although I had trouble fitting in with my friends at times, my grades did not suffer and I continued to get straight A's. However, getting good grades also proved to have consequences for me. I was teased for being, "the teacher’s pet" because I did well in school. I tried to stand up for myself, but people would gang up on me and it became impossible to have a quick reply in response to their remarks.

There was a huge amount of pressure to fit in with my classmates, which took a major toll on what I thought about myself. I never considered myself to be cool or popular and I felt that I had no true friends. I began to believe that something was wrong with me and that people just didn't like me. I tried to be nice and kind to everyone but still to this day, I do not understand why I was treated with such harsh words and actions. As a response to what was occurring at school, I began to develop anxiety and migraine headaches. I believe that this was related to the stress that I was under and it was my only way of coping at the time.

There are many incidents during that period of my life that are still painful and make me cringe. For example, one afternoon I was playing soccer with some of my classmates. I went to kick the ball away from a boy on the other team and accidentally kicked him on his shin. I felt so bad and apologized. Soon after recess was over, the bell rang and my class began to walk back into the school. The boy whom I accidentally kicked pulled me aside and started to kick me in my shins repeatedly. I stood there motionless and I could hear my heart pounding through my chest.

Finally I pulled away from the boy, feeling embarrassed, humiliated, and confused. Eventually I ran inside the school, and tried to pretend that nothing had occurred. When I got home from school, I told my mom what happened and she immediately called the school. The school then suspended the boy for three days. When my classmates found out about the incident, they got mad at me for getting the boy suspended. They did not even begin to see my side of the story and I felt betrayed. This made me confused because I was now concerned whether or not I made the right decision to tell my mom. I now know that I did in fact make the right decision and I should be proud of standing up for myself.

The pain that I endured in the fourth grade gave me insight into my personality and the importance of staying true to myself. As a result, I will not change my beliefs, ideas and feelings in order to fit in with other people, especially if they are unkind. Although fourth grade was filled with many hardships, this was an important life experience. As I reflecting on my fourth grade difficulties, I realize that I have grown in my ability to overcome obstacles. Without the struggle of fourth grade, I would have never realized my ability to overcome these adversities.

Bullying has become an issue for many children. When I was younger, I thought that I was the only person who experienced bullying. I now realize that I was not alone. It also only takes one person to help stand up for you and to realize that you are worthy. That year would have been much different if only one person had stood up for me.

Although I can say that I fell victim to bullying, it has helped me become more aware of other people’s feelings. When someone makes a cruel joke about another person or makes fun of them, I immediately flash back to when I was getting bullied. Looking at the bigger picture, people who are bullies must feel bad about themselves or they would not make fun of others. Reflecting on my experience, the people that bullied me at my school had very low self-esteem and making fun of me made them feel better about themselves. I don't understand why making me feel miserable would help them become "popular" but oddly enough it helped them to fit in.