How to Write About a White Girl

Make sure when writing about a white girl you always abbreviate words and phrases. Use things like “omg” and “totes” to make you sound less intelligent than you actually are. Also make sure you include the word literally in just about every sentence. Make sure that you’re as obnoxious as possible, more obnoxious than a fire truck driving through a neighborhood in the middle of the night. Yes, that obnoxious. Leggings and sweatshirts are the clothing of choice for these girls not because they’re comfortable, obviously just to show off their bodies. Starbucks is the preferred drink by all of these girls no matter the taste or personal opinions of these girls. Make sure when you talk about how they speak you use the least amount of complex language as possible and revert to the simplest form of speaking you can, because all white girls speak like this obviously. Mention their white iPhone also which is the universal sign of a white girl, remember that they can’t live without it or they will totally die. You can’t leave out the social networking either which these girls lives practically revolve around. No matter what the circumstances are these girls must get at least 100 likes on their picture on instagram or they will take it down. When you write about white girls make sure that you mention how all of us are shallow bitches because that’s obviously the way that all of them act. Make sure that you include how much they gossip about other girls and how all they can do is criticize and judge people. And before you end this writing make sure you bash their style of music because they listen to the songs that they like, no matter who, if you’re a white girl you automatically love all boy bands that will ever come into existence.