Have you ever thought about the cruelty of the human race? How cruel we are, not only to the world, but to one another. I believe our insecurities are the most harmful to us and those around us.

I remember at one point in my life I became a bully. I was a bully to my friends or anyone that looked like an easy target. I never wanted to become a bully, and I am not sure if anyone truly enjoys bullying others, but I know I have hated this part of my life for as long as I can remember. I would constantly pick on those who were down and I never saw myself as the bully. Never did I once look at myself in the mirror and say I am a bully. I always thought of myself of being bullied. The weak kid everyone picked on, the easy target. Never did it once occur to me that I was doing the bullying. This went on for about a year. Until one day it was brought to my attention through a kid in my third hour gym class. I remember this day so clearly. We had just beaten this scrawny boy in pickleball. I began to pick on him and I don’t even remember why or what I was saying to antagonize him. Then he finally burst, “I know exactly what you are Chris, you’re just a bully!” It shocked me. I had never considered it before, that I could be the one causing pain to others. I went home that night and had one of the worst nights of my life. Because I was no longer the one in pain. I was the one causing the pain to others. I was willing to put my selfishness before someone elses simple need of happiness. I went back to school the next day, refusing to talk to anyone or participate in school. Isolating myself, so that I would not hurt anyone else. I have been doing this for years. Until it finally occurred to me that the reason I became a bully was from all of my own insecurities about myself. I went to school on that day and studied those around me. I soon found this rule did not only apply to me but to everyone else around me. I saw that our insecurities makes us into monsters. So I changed the way I acted towards others. I soon became a target once again, but this time I reacted much different. I no longer got defensive over the insults thrown upon me. I only let down my guard more and more and let them in. The harder they hit the more I saw what the other was going through. I saw more through others harm towards me than I ever thought I could see.

This last year of my life I have felt better as a person through the number of people that I have helped. All because I believe that our insecurities are the monsters that destroy us and those around us the most.