Depression is a really tricky thing, sometimes you can think  it’s gone then next thing you know it’s back. It can always be there without you knowing and it's not something that just hits you; it can come whenever, usually it's all these things building up and it all just kinda breaks you.

It can really suck, I know, I go through it too. Sometimes it's something that makes you not hungry or it makes you eat too much, sometimes it makes you sleep too much or it just keeps you up all night, it'll let you be extremely happy one day then really sad the next. It can change your mood in seconds and ruin your day, take it from a person who knows.

Struggling with depression is like an everyday thing for me and I’ve suffered from loss of sleep; during spring break this year which was a week long and everyday I was awake until between six to nine a.m and then I would never sleep long, I was usually running on two or three hours of sleep. I also went through some weight loss and weight gain, I started off as weighing 125 pounds then I went up to 130 and now I’m at 120 pounds.

Sometimes depression can mess with your relationships or your plans to go out. You know you should go out and maybe you wanted to when you made the plans, but your depression sometimes just makes you not want to go, it makes you want to hide in a closet and just stay there. With your relationships, it ruins friendships it truly does, I have almost lost so many of my closest friends because I was too depressed to talk with them or to even hang out with them outside of school.

Depression can also make a dramatic change in how you see yourself.

You will get down on yourself so much, think so badly about yourself and it's so sad because you can't change how you think because it's like this thing has got ahold of you. It's called depression. It will fill your head with horrible thoughts about yourself but i'll tell you this, do not believe it. You’re so much better than all these bad thoughts and I know how depression can affect your mood and how you see yourself, it’s rough. I had really bad anxiety about people judging me and stuff because I would fill my head with all these bads things about myself.

Struggling with depression is like trying to roll a ball up a hill, you'll get it to the top eventually but then it just hits you and you end up at the bottom and have to start all over again. Depression isn't a thing you can just get rid of over night, it sticks with you for almost your entire life, it never truly goes away. Think of cancer, it never goes away, maybe for a little while but it always finds its way back to you somehow. No matter how many medications you try, it may go away for a little while but it'll be back (and i'm not trying to let you down or give you bad news), but it's the truth.

No one wants depression but it’s just something that happens, no one should have to deal with it. No one deserves to feel this way, it's so unfair and to everyone going through it: I hope you know you did absolutely nothing to deserve this and it will get better, you just have to get through the hard times to have some good times too. It'll never be easy I can tell you that, but focus on positives and take it one day at a time. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, it's horrible in many different ways and nobody deserves it.