As a 17 year old, I am not really fully grown, and I probably will never be. But as I have grown so far, I -obviously or not- have learned many many things.
There is nothing for me in my hometown past my high school graduation.
I want to travel, see the world, live by my pen, and fall madly in love.
This summer I set off on a very interesting two week journey. I was asked by my aunt and uncle to play Mary Poppins to my cousin for two weeks, during the daytime, while his parents were at work.
I immediately said yes. My cousin is a mature 12 year old boy, and we get on quite well, talking about Harry Potter and whatnot. Two weeks did not seem as if it would phase me one bit, and I was thrilled to go.
I left mere hours after I finished my last exam of my junior year (Algebra II, it was a nightmare!). I knew I would miss my friends and miss spending the first few weeks of the summer with them, but I would return by Independence Day and planned to spend the holiday watching fireworks and catching up with my pals.
Things went along smoothly, I walked my cousin to and from tennis camp every day - a total of four miles for me - and then made him lunch before we settled in front of the new cable TV for a few hours. I would also go upstairs to read, write, or just lounge around with the stereo on.
It was three days or so in that I became very isolated. I didn't want to entertain him anymore, and I honestly felt badly about it. We went to the mall and I had a horrible headache, even after spending time in borders, my favorite place in the world!
By the time we went to Cape Cod for the weekend, I realized what was happening: I was homesick.
Luckily, my sister was on the Cape for the summer, and I got to spend an hour or so with her before she had to work again, I never got to say goodbye and that killed me.
I talked to my mom (on the telephone), my sister, and my aunt that day, all about how I was feeling. I cried a ton, I was actually homesick! I was completely floored. At 17 years old, staying with family for a few weeks shouldn't be bothering me.
I saw that maybe that was why I was not feeling well, why I was getting headaches for hours at a time and my stomach was bothering me, why I was so secluded from everything. I was ill, yearning for my home, my bed, my cat, my friends and my life.
Then I got frightened. I have to go to college in a year! If I couldn't bear two weeks with my family at 17...how could I stand much much longer with complete strangers?
However, I knew it would be over soon - somehow I knew it couldn't last - and I was right. It was all family here, I had nothing to worry about. In a few days time I was okay again. I wasn't healed, but I didn't miss home as much as I did before. I wasn't ashamed of it. Both my mom and my sister told me that it was okay. Hell, I think homesickness should be mandatory, it makes you remember why you love your home, even if you think that there's nothing past high school for you.
Life takes everyone on completely different journies, mine just happened to include homesickness at 17 this year. I wonder what will happen in college!